Today: Brought to you by the letter "C"

Of course day 2 of my little adventure would bring nitty gritty.  Why would it not?  I have a friend.  We were best friends for years, and then life got in the way.  When I met her, I thought she was the most glamorous thing I'd ever encountered.  Its funny what looks glamorous when you're in sixth grade.  One of my earliest memories was her birthday party, we rode around town in a limo, to a restaurant, the beach, and then got to spend the night at, what appeared to me at the time, a castle!

Her life turned out to be anything but glamorous, but I loved her fiercely.  I was convinced at 13 that I could save her, and still at 14, 15, 16, and 17.  Your super hero powers start to wear off a little bit as you get older, then you can lose them all together, only to rediscover you're still a super hero when you have kids.  Life can be cool like that.

The two of us, we were firecrackers.  Wound pretty tight, a little crazy, not fully in touch with reality, but MAN did we have fun!  Until she started leaving.  Months at a time, she would leave to 'get well', the first time I thought maybe I could go with her if I lost enough weight, but I couldn't stay committed to the goal.  I didn't realize how sick my friend was... I just thought she was really committed... I wanted to be as committed as her.  I'm really glad I'm not 13 anymore.  When she would come back, from what I thought was camp, she was 'better' and we'd go right back to our normal shenanigans and never talk about 'camp'. I was jealous of the friends she made there, and that I didn't get to go.

The comings & goings became more frequent.  The shenanigans a little more real and a lot more dangerous. I realized how sick she was.  I got scared.

So what does this have to do with today?

Over the course of the years, on random occasions, I would hear from my friend.  She would share the absolute insanity of her life, the old feelings of wanting to save her would resurface, and my heart would break as it had grown in the knowledge that I couldn't.  I don't hear directly from her anymore, or at least I haven't in the last couple years, but through the wonderful advances in technology I'd watch the insanity unfold on the pages of Facebook.   Some posts would make me smile, seeing the crazy fun girl up to old antics, some would make me cringe as she poured herself into another guy not worthy of her sweet heart, and some would make my heart break again, as she wrote about believing the world had given up on her.  But I would say nothing.  I felt like I had said it all, more times than I could count.

She posted today (or at least I read it today)... and again I couldn't comment.  I mean in all seriousness... look at this post, I would have seriously exhausted the capabilities of Facebook.

How do you apologize for being human?  Do you?  I can see this from her point of view, it bears a striking resemblance to me giving up on her.  Self-preservation does contain more than half of the word selfish.... But then I just get mad... and that's how I know I still love her.... you don't get angry with people you don't care about.  You usually don't even think about people you don't care about... but I think about her, and I get mad at her for being selfish... for not listening to the people who love her, for not believing that we do, for making choices that could end up killing her....  And so I don't say anything....  Because when you haven't talked to someone in 2 years, yelling at them is likely not the most polite way to say hello.

I'm a firm believer in the statement "life is what you make of it".  I acknowledge some are starting from a rather large deficit.... but I also believe no matter where you are, its a matter of the NEXT choice you'll make and the ones that come after that.  Even if the first choice is simply agreeing that you might have a problem bigger than you can handle on your own... and then choosing everyday to set aside what you think, because you've discovered your thoughts might be whats hurting you most. Choosing to listen to those that bring light into your life, that tell you the truth even when it hurts, that love you enough to fight with you.  Choose to accept reality and to dig in and get to work on making it better... it doesn't happen over night and no one can do it for you, but we can cheer you on.  Personal experience can attest, the more good choices you make, the louder your cheering section gets!

Love you C... Today is for you... Make it count :)

Today

Today I'm trying to be Plato, or some equally fancy philosopher.  Despite people telling me, I'm a good writer, and as much as I love doing it, I come to this blank page often and walk away intimidated that I don't have something new to say.  So I'm gonna try giving that up right now, so that I can get back to what I love without all the stinkin pressure. 

I want to write... I want to record my life... yes, secretly I'd love a really fancy blog that pays the bills someday.  However someday, is just the collection of many today's... so after THREE years of struggling to figure out what I wanted MY blog to be... we've landed on the simplistic solution of 'Today'.  If all I have to do, is relay the thoughts, experiences, joy, and misery of a single day... maybe, JUST maybe, I can do that.

I love reinventing yourself  just because its a Tuesday, and you can.  The thing with starting something new though, is you gotta give context at the start... which can be long sometimes... and since I love to write and talk... this could get long.  Sorry.

I am a HOT mess.  I'm fairly certain I have a mild form of insomnia.  I definitely have some variation of attention deficit disorder.  I love organization.  I hate structure.  I have a colorful past, that few are aware of.  I like it this way.... for now.  I'm learning I am actually in the majority with the last statement, that we live in a world of colorful packages, that rarely get opened up to see what's inside.  We'll see to what degree I open up here... we'll see how safe it feels.  I occasionally slip into 2nd and 3rd person descriptions of myself, this has yet to be determined as a quirky trait or a certifiable issue.  In order; I'm a person trying to figure out this God thing, a lover of my amazing husband, a lunatic trying to raise little lunatics, and in no particular order a sister, daughter, friend, co-worker, and random human.

Today, I'm drawing my line in the sand, to walk away from presenting, projecting, pretending... and as Wanda Sykes put it so eloquently "I'ma be me"!  Everything I'm gonna say has likely already been said before, by someone smarter, more funny, eloquant, and with better grammer and spelling.  I've decided to be o.k. with this, and stop freaking out that I have to figure out how to reinvent the wheel in an effort to be cooler than them.

Today, I didn't go to bed until 2am, knowing that my kids would wake up before 6am, because I was just having to stinkin much fun gabbing with girlfriends... yes on a Monday night.  Which probably explains my delierious decision to reinvent myself on a Tuesday, and commit to writing a daily blog... in two months when I come back here, and re-read this one, I can apologize for making sleepy promises.  However I did sneak a nap... how... cause God loves me and gave me the most awesomly flexible job in the world, and a lovely woman named Rosah to help watch my boys from 8-2 M-Th.  Thank you God and Rosah for my nap this morning while I was 'working'. 

I went back to the dentist for the first time in 2.5+years today as well.   I have a little secret to tell you... while I never have actually grown up, the one area I will continue to pretend in, is that I'm a grown up with my kids.  They are the only reason I'm a responsible, functioning adult.  Now that Cub is old enough to start going to the dentist, is the ONLY reason the appointment was made, and since I had to 'model' good behavior for him, my teeth got cleaned as well.  Other responsible things in my life that are directly attributed to having kids: why we started going back to church regularly once Cub was born, eating vegetables with every meal, forgoing booty music while little ears are in the car, and likely a few more.   Area's the child in me still reign supreme: my desire to stay in jammies all day, aversion to showering, and cleaning up behind myself.  We call these my work in progress area's... we're hoping as the today's roll on and I have something to be accountable to... in two months if I'm still claiming jammie days every day, I will eventually feel enough conviction in my own posts to get dressed in the morning (FYI: Yoga pants are considered getting dressed).

I've got to brag on Cub for a sec.  Little man makes me look like a rockstar.  He was a pro in the dentist chair, polite, inquisitive, a charmer.  He has a tendancy to amp up the charm for peeps.  Honest, cross my heart, I rarely put him up to this (never would be a bold face lie, but rarely is truth), it cracks me up cause it makes people think I have some sort of universal secret figured out, and in reality I'm just as baffled as they are.  My theory is God knew I was NO WHERE NEAR ready to be a parent, so he gave me a wise little soul as my first... someone that wouldn't really test the parenting limits, as a means of building my confidence that I could also keep others alive.  He's putting that theory to the test now with little brother.  We've entered this fantastic stage of boundary testing.  He'll ask for something, I'll get it for him, then he'll lose his ever-lovin mind saying he doesn't want it.  I take it away, and he counters now convinced he'll DIE without said item.  This does not go on for long, because I walk away, and am trailed by a screeching, convulsing, mess of a child as he pleads for me to partake longer in the game to see who will go crazy first.  Child, understand this... I will win... it is my job as mom to win.  Learn this soon so we can all live happily ever after, o.k.?

So yeah... that's my today... it makes me kinda excited/nervous for what tomorrow could bring, cause if I'm pledging to tell you about it, I'm really hoping day 2 doesn't require me to expose more of the nitty gritty too soon... Let's continue getting to know eachother first... mmmm kay?   Now for a chill night, cause yeah, the children did bring out the responsible adult in that area... one night till 2am at a time... followed closely by a 9pm bed-time so I don't implode. :)

The Grocery Store Challenge

I’m throwing out a challenge. Find me the smartest person alive, and I will stupefy them with a trip to the grocery store.

The parameters of the game are as follows:

$100 Dollars to Spend
Healthy
Will feed a family of 4 for a week (careful how you estimate kid portions… if you haven’t met mine)
You cannot plan on serving the same meal twice for dinner (lunch left overs are permissible, but not in excess)
You can spend no more than 1hr in the store
Must remember to use at least one coupon (cause you really are trying)
Must ensure receipt is 100% accurate in pricing of items on sale
You have to keep my two children with you, at all times
You need to complete said challenge without injury to self/others.


Some of you read that, and scoffed at my menial abilities, convinced of your mad skills. Others of you, without knowing any better, thought “awwww, bless her heart”… I know what that means… I spent 8 years in the south! Still others, armed with first-hand knowledge of the challenging feat, offer empathy. Thank you.

The kicker. Additional parameters for “Healthy”:

Cannot contain any High Fructose Corn Syrup
All items must have less than 25% daily sodium percentage per serving
All items must also have less than 10% daily sugar percentages per serving
Any Fruit/veggies grown in the ground, or which you eat the skin of, must be organic.
No dyed foods (Red Dye #7, Blue #8…. That stuff will kill you ya’ know ;)

This is not for the faint of heart people. I’m not kidding when I estimate at any given time approximately 3 equations trying to be processed in my head for any single item I put in the cart. Example: “The jar of sauce, says 2 for $5… easy enough $2.50, but its only 16oz, and this other one is 24oz, and costs $3.00… Hmmm 8 oz more, one additional serving, for .$50…… Oh wait, now flip it over for the nutrition facts…. The 16 oz one is lower in overall sodium and sugar, oh wait… there is this 3rd option close in price…. (remember those kids you brought with you… at this point in time, one has walked around the corner, and the other is trying desperately to wiggle out of the cart seat, while whining to you about getting down, and also grabbing things you don’t want to buy off the shelf and throwing them into the cart)…. Where were we at again on those equations?

So who’s gonna give it a whirl??? Any Takers??? The smartest person alive, was given that title for a reason, they are smart enough to know that the challenge set before them is impossible. Prove me wrong. I’ll buy you dinner!

Back to School, to FINALLY understand the Golden Rule!

At the beginning of the year, my goal, specifically not a resolution, was to find balance. I think maybe my perspective of what balance was started out slightly flawed. I had imagined it as walking a tight rope between right and wrong, and to that imagery I would have fallen to my death long ago, if that tight rope were extended in mid-air. Even with the line safely on the ground, I would have looked like a drunk on the side of the road, trying so hard to avoid a night in the slammer. However, if you added up the leans toward one side and the other…. I might be a little closer to striking a balance. Maybe.


The battle seems to fall between selfish and selfless…. With errors still occurring squarely on the side of selfish. Isn’t it funny how certain you can become that you are the only person in the world who is selfish? That everyone else is walking around in a constant state of service, never once weighing decisions based purely on self-interest.

Or is it true, and I need a massive kick in the pants?

I do love being there for people, helping them when they need it, but only so long as it fits within parameters I’ve defined. Some call that having healthy boundaries, jury is still out for me. To complicate that, you know how good it feels when you do meet a need, give more than you planned, do something for the greater good, and you want to shout it from the roof tops. Which is a strange phenomenon in and of itself, because technically if we were living as we should, we’d be doing those things all the time and our need to toot our own horn at having done them would subside. Back to the point, in all reality the only person that actually wants to hear about it is your mom. It kinda comes with the job I suppose, whenever you’re child comes to you and says look Mom and Dad, look what I did, you give them a pat on the back and say well done. I guess, biblically, that’s how it’s supposed to be done, you know the whole end of our lives “Well done good and faithful servant” speech…. Although I’m still holding out hope for the audible, ‘atta girl’ to fall from heaven sometimes.

Facebook doesn’t help matters. In a matter of seconds I can tell the world that I cleaned my house that day, and get 15 ‘likes’. Then on the days when I’m lacking total motivation and (since I’m lacking total motivation) find myself on Facebook, seeing other people posting about how productive they are, generally only feeds the beast that can be self-loathing. I suppose one thing that has balanced in the last 8 months has been my love of Facebook, its finally found its rightful place at the low end of my to-do/see totem-pole.

The grace v. confrontation balance has been a bit of a mind bender for me too. If ‘love covers a multitude of sins’, where on that line… that very fuzzy if not totally transparent, line… do you say enough? I guess if you’re writing a book, that’s designed to cover every human condition, and remain relevant for 2000 years +, you’re bound to have quite a few juxtaposed positions on topics, but it does create quite a complication for someone trying to find their line of balance!

I know I’m not the only one struggling with this one either…. It’s shocking how heated a Christian debate can become. In politics or life, if you hold a different opinion as someone else, they might call you ignorant (if they’re keeping it classy). In Christian debates, people gloss right over ignorance and start praying for your soul…. Meaning they’re quite certain you’re headed to Hell with your current way of thinking and they need to intercede for you. It has me totally baffled. Millions, if not in the billions, of people claim Christianity, and yet the greater church with its many different factions (of which I do claim ignorance for understanding the differences) can’t seem to get us all on the same page? If a house divided falls, I’d say we’re in a bit of trouble peeps.

With all of my questions, I am super excited to start this next semester with church. I’ve signed up to take these seminary style classes from Regent University, it’s part of a pilot program my church is doing with them. Three years, 12 classes I think, and you end with a certificate of practical ministry from the University. This is only my first semester, so whether I stay committed till the end is TBD, but I’m excited for my own ‘Back to School’ adventure! If you weren’t a fan of the faithy posts before, you might want to stop checking in so I don’t annoy you, cause that’s the direction this mama is moving, so I’d expect my musings to follow suit.

The Unexpected

I've landed myself squarely in a conundrum.... Before I actually BELIEVED any of this faith stuff, I was totally fine telling anyone 'yeah I believe, I'm just not one of those crazies', and then went ahead on my jolly way living my own life doing my own thing, right/wrong/whatevs.  Now I do BELIEVE it, and I don't talk about it because I don't want to scare people.... Cause let's face it... church people can really be WIERD sometimes!  So eitherway you sliced it, I didn't seem to end up on the right side.... Live a life not really making any attempt to follow Jesus, and tell people I was.... confusing.... or live a life trying to, and not talk about Him at all.... confusing.

I do want to set the record straight on a couple things though, me 'Believing' does not translate to:  won't touch alcohol, wouldn't think of shaking their groove thing to a song that doesn't play on a christian station, is on their knees with their nose in a bible for 25 hours a day, is suddenly a doting wife/mother/best friend ever/amazing coorespondant/will drop everything to help whenever/whoever/whatever at a moments notice perfect person.  I'm sure there are a couple more I'm missing, that I'll likely get the chance to point out when I make a bone head move, and someone says "I thought you CHAAAAANGED" (cause that's how I see this going down in my head), and I can say.... "Oh yeah change didn't necessarily translate to that either... at least not yet".

This faith stuff is crazy ya'll, like seriously mind-boggling WTFudge ;)  crazy!  Most liberating thing I've found to-date.... God know's when I was typing that, that fudge was not the word that came to mind, and while He might not be "cool" with it, He's got a really REALLY big long list of other things He's working on with me first, and that one will eventually come up, but He would be more annoyed with me trying to 'change' how I talk so I can sound like I think I'm supposed, cause then I'd be fake.... and He's got a bigger issue with the F word when that word is Fake :)   So we're just gonna be real, whatever that looks like.

O.K... so you've made it this far.... on to the real reason for the Blog....

You guys, August was INSANE... My head is quite litterally spinning which is why I had to write it all down cause trying to make sense of it in my head was NOT working out well for me.

Let's start with the first week.  Aug 1st, our tenants in Texas give notice they are moving out and we have 30 days to figure out how to re-let the house from 1100 miles away.  A few days later, one of my very closest friends from out here, and the boys care provider, drops the bomb that she's moving to Colorado.... in a WEEK.  Eight hours after that, we learned that our second pregnancy since Logan was also going to end in a mis-carriage.   Not a stellar week in the Alspaugh household.

So to end the month in abject wonder and thankfulness from that start is nothing short of a miracle :)! 

God provided a new care provider for the boys, before I even realized I needed one (A girl from my church approached me actually ASKING me if she could watch my boys 3 days before Steph gave her notice, I'd told her I had everything covered at the time.... You know who got the first call when Steph did give her notice!).  Caaaa-RAY-zeeee, but so cool too!
The week after the miscarriage we were overwhelmed with an outpouring of love from my girlfriends out here and family/friends from home, they stocked my fridge for two weeks with meals, came and watched chick flix with me, and Kev and the boys were angels as well... may be par for the course for Kev, but the boys... yeah the can run the spectrum from angel... to possessed... so angels for a whole week was a treat!  The icing on that cake, was I got to find purpose in what was going to be an empty nursery.  A week after learning the room would be empty we actually ended up filling it with a new addition to our family... I GOT MY GIRL ;) (wait... breath... no baby, no adoption... ok. are we composed again?)  Melanie, an intern for our church for the school year was litterally arriving that Saturday and the church didn't have a home for her... and well we now had room, so in she moved :)

All that only brought us to the middle of the month when Kevin's parents came for a visit, and I had my Bear encounter.  Please tell me you saw my picture on Facebook.  IT WAS A REAL, LIVE, HONEST TO GOD BLACK BEAR 30 ft. from me you guys...  Seriously... INSANE MONTH!  Who has bear encounters?

So that brings me to the trials/tribulations of re-letting a home 1100 miles away.  We got an early bite on the ad.  I was thrilled.  That was until in my first conversation with the prospect alerted me to the felony record that would accompany them into the house, should I extend a contract to them.  Yeah... That will pull you up short in a phone conversation.  "A felony, huh, well I guess the next logical question would be what for?", "Well my husband robbed two banks 5 years ago, he wasn't armed, but our credit is now shot, and no one will give us a chance, I totally understand if you won't either".  OUCH... she HAD to play the compassion card, I'm such a sucker for those. I told her I'd pray about it and let her know (this was not one of those, I'll pray about its, so I can get you off the phone trying to be nice).  I told God I'd move forward with this, and asked Him to make the prospects withdrawl themselves from the process if they were gonna screw me.  Long story short, after probably about 50 e-mails, phone calls to the parole officer, their pastor, and about 20 other back ground checks, I sent them a contract... and wouldn't ya' know... they back out. 

So now a week before the month runs out, I had no prospects, an empty house and a looming double mortgage/rent payment coming due?  What does God do... He invites me (via my girlfriend) to spend a 5 days in Key West with Him and one of my nearest/dearest.... He's a pretty cool guy ;)  (A smidge of a lie, I bought the plane ticket, the day before our prospects backed out... so in my defense, I did think I had tenants when I spent the money).

So we FINALLY brought August to an end, and did so with no tenant.... until today! :)  I'm not gonna lie, I am SO not a fan of the sweating it out method that God seems to enjoy employing from time to time... Really not... gonna have a chat with Him about the logic behind that when I get to Heaven, and how many heart attacks may have resulted from such methods, and who's fault those were, but I digress.... He did it, He found us the perfect tenants, who signed a TWO YEAR lease!!! 
Christine Caine came and spoke at our church half-way through this month... I found it rather appropriate timing, as one of her points in her message is that our job is mearly to prepare, to just do what we can, when we can do it.  She said God doesn't start working until we've reached our impossible, if its possible and within our means we are expected to do it.... Well my impossible was Sept. 1st with no tenants... and wouldn't ya' know... He came through! 

So yeah... crazy month, but with as stressful and unexpected as everything was, I wouldn't have traded it.  Sure, I might have choosen some things to work out differently, but this faith that I've been working on for the last two years was put to the test, and it held.  I rather enjoy not going to pieces when it appears as though my life is doing just that.  Waiting... Watching... Believing for something to come through, to work, and allowing a VERY broad range for what that will look like.  The answers aren't alwasy what I want, but there is reason to them, and when there doesn't even seem to be reason, there is at least the adventure of the unexpected.  If I had to pick between a life of expected, and the adventure of the unexpected, I want the latter..... Although should I end up dying of a stress induced heart attack, me and God are gonna have some words on the why behind that one! ;)

Exhausted

My brain couldn't possibly condense all that occured in the last 4 days, and the excitement I have for the next 14 into a 250 character facebook update.... solution.... Blog.

I'm exhuasted.  The good kind of exhausted.  The kind they talk about in that joke where you slide into the grave at the end of your life entirely spent from a life well lived.  The last 4 days were days well lived.  Days spent among friends, camping in the middle of God's (and the Amish) country, making unforgettable memories with the boys, and ending it with German Chocolate cake celebrating my hubs 35th birthday vegging with him on the couch.  Perfection.

When I think over the details of the weekend however, my "Heaven" could quite easily be confused with anothers definition of "Hell", but in retrospect that's what was the icing on the cake for me.  No matter the circumstances tossed at us over the past 4 days, in a group of 25, not one cracked under pressure... a rather impressive feat given the following....

Ingredients for Creation Fest 2012:
4 days over 95 Degrees (2 over 100)
2 Massive Thunderstorms, one with tornados and all (we're in tents mind you)
Concerts that last until 11pm
No normal naps due to said 100 degree heat
A 4 month old, 2, 3, 4, & 7 year old, and 2 'stimmers' as my girlfriend calls 'em (Autism)

Do you think I'm insane yet??? :)

Our roughing it, wasn't nearly as rough as it sounded though.  When contemplating camping, make friends with 'campers'.... real ones... the kind with years of experience, and then ride their coat-tails closely.  We had a generator, which powered a shower, and essentially a 'full' kitchen, provided a charge station for the all important cell phones which also doubled as wifi-hotspots for the Ipads and laptops.  I would like to say Kevin and I contributed in some meaningful way, but these friends of our are pro's... the most meaningful way to contribute is to ask how we can help and stay out of the way if we can't :).

The most ironic part, was waking up on Saturday morning, getting text information from friends back in Alexandria that they were all out of power, in houses over 100 degrees.  We had slept like babie (litterally, the babes never even made a peep) in our tents and were enjoying fresh coffee, bacon, eggs, and pancakes while a nice breeze blew through the trees maintaining a cooler temp in the early morning.

Creation Fest itself was a great experience, in retrospect, with small boys we'll probably opt for a ticket to our favorite day/night and then use the rest of our time to just enjoy the fun of camping, while still getting some reasonable sleep.  We learned no matter how late they went to bed, 6:30-7am is still their sweet spot for waking up.  Ouch.  We did learn naps in the air conditioning car worked fairly well to help bridge the day, and thank God for providing an awesome pool nearby that we found to help us beat the heat during the day.  The boys did awesome.  They loved it, and wanted to stay longer as we packed up today, which was the best confirmation that we were exactly where we were meant to be this weekend.

Now we've got a day to relax/reset before Aunt Rebecca and Uncle Trav come out for a couple days to celebrate the 4th with us, and then we ALL caravan back to Michigan for 10 days visiting family back home!

Yes... I will be exhuasted, but with that bleary eyed smile on my face, thankful for all the fun and fabulous people in my life!!!

Perseverance

Perseverance is hard.  You don't often hear about someone having to persevere through a vacation.    Yet, its one of those characteristics people desire because its critical in so many areas of our lives.  With this in mind, I'm PERSEVERING in teaching my boys about persevarance.... and its quite lible to kill me!

I hope any that read this, know by now my stance on mothering... to each their own.  God gave me my boys, for me to raise, cause He's got a plan for their lives no other set of parenting skills could help realize.  If you love your kids, you are doing what you think is best for them.  Period.  So please don't take anything I write out of context as superiority or grounds to question my parenting style.

We support independance round here.  At a rather young age.  We support the cry it out method for sleep modeling, the shake it off method for injuries not resulting in blood, dressing ones self despite the unique outcomes, etc...   However, this is obviously an evolution from the 100% dependence of that first year.
Where we've found ourselves in the spectrum of this evolution is an entirely capable 4 year old that chooses to 'quit' when something get's difficult.  It wasn't so long ago, that when the going got tough mom and dad would come to the rescue.  I still get the nagging 'mommy thought' that he's only JUST 4, he's still my baby.  Then I watch the news and see a society of 'babies' and KNOW its my job to practice perseverance and watch him fail, and get frustrated, yet encourage him to TRY again.

He's not the only one getting his perseverance tested.  We were at Barnes & Nobel today, and after reading him 3 books, I told him I wanted him to sound out the title of the 4th book with me "Trucks & Tractor's", and if he could do that, I'd read him the book.  It started off successfully, he pointed and correctly named all the letters in the title, then we moved to the sounds of the letters, and it quickly went down hill from there.  Mind you, I was saying EVERYTHING, and asking him to simply repeat.  In the span of one minute I'd make the sound for "T".... pause... pause... pause "Buddy, what did mama just say?".  Caleb's response the sound for "S".  Try again.  Fail.  Try again. Fail.  "Caleb, I need you to try, I don't feel like you're even listening to me."  I started to speed up the sounding it out, so I was basically SAYING "Trucks", and asking him what I was saying, his response "Cars".

Seriously? 

So I calmly tell him to put the book away, I can tell he's not ready to try this today and we'll try again another day.  He starts in with the whining of how he wants me to read it to him, yada yada yada... not gonna happen buddy.

Luckily after explaining this story to a girlfriend she recommended a book for me to try "Teach Your Child to Read in a 100 Lessons".... She had me when she said it took 5 minutes a day.  I'll be picking this up tomorrow!