The Accidental Play Date

World War Z's got nothing on my house these days....  Except I feel like the zombie, and my children are on the war path.  You would think the zombie status has something to do with sleepless nights attributed to a newborn... you would be wrong.  AJ is a freaking child prodigy when it comes to sleep and has been giving us 12 hour nights for 2.5wks now, so I'm not sleepless, just battle weary.   This only added to my total anxiety after seeing the world's 'back to school' pics, that I have forever screwed up our lives by not enrolling Cub in Kindergarten.   So God and I had a little heart to heart today, which looked a lot like me hitting my head while plugging my ears as an escape from the RIDICULOUS NOISE in my house.  Since the decibels in this house have been rivaling that of a scream-o  concert, we've been spending quite a bit of time outdoors, in a weak attempt to salvage any portion of my hearing and sanity.  However, the parks haven't been doing much to assuage my anxiety about homeschooling, given Cub is like a foot taller than any other kid at the playground, with them all back in school..... Until today!

God must have sensed my rapidly approaching major freak out, cause we ventured out to the park today, and first thing I noticed were some boys Cub's size playing.  Then my ears perked up as two of the mom's talking nearby were talking about their home school curriculum.  If women ever fully outgrow the initial insecurities of approaching other women strangers, I wouldn't know yet.  I did that slow awkward walk over, where its kinda obvious you're approaching them, but trying not to draw attention to yourself yet.  Then when you are obviously lurking and they finally look your way, you almost act surprised they looked your way... my winning introduction went something like this "oh hi, how are you, just happened to notice you were talking about homeschooling stuff"  (maybe I noticed cause I've heard every word you've both said for the last 5 minutes, but don't mind me).  People think I'm outgoing, and I am, but for the record it doesn't make the initial introductions any less awkward.

It was awesome!  These women welcomed me immediately into their conversation, their kids are right at the same ages as mine, and they have a regular Wednesday morning play date, where the 4 of them and their collective 12 kids get together to play.  They also let me know of the even bigger gathering that occurs every Friday at another local park!  Wahoo!   Now I don't have to be the creepy school playground person, that hangs at the local school to hit recess so my kids can play with people their own age range....  We did that once last week.... it was weird, I don't recommend it.  I think the only reason they didn't call the cops on me was because I had a baby strapped to my chest, something about those non-threatening infants.

Confession time.... until today, I hadn't opened the boxes of home school curriculum we got, to be honest, they seriously freaked me out.  We've been working on the "Teaching Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lesson's" book all summer, and that had been what I was counting as our 'school' up till now.  After our accidental play date, I was encouraged to bite the bullet, came home and opened them up.  I reviewed the first few weeks/months of content while the boys had quiet/nap time and was SO excited to see that most of the material is stuff I feel pretty confident with Cub's performance in reading now, that he'll grasp quickly!

No matter how many times you hear/learn that you will get 'attacked' as you try to follow God's plan for your life, when you finally get that confirmation that you're on the right path, it feels SO good!  So thankful for the accidental play date today!  NOW.... if He would just weigh in on how to get two miniature humans to love each other rather than contrive new and devious ways to annoy the other and me in the process, we'd REALLY be onto something!

AJ's Newborn Pics!

I've determined new born photography is an act of masochism for moms.  It's just not natural in that first week to find the energy and perfect timing, to have napped and fed your new born into oblivion so you get sweet malleable mush baby for pictures.  THEN transform the exhausted mama mess into something you'd be willing to hang on your wall and look at for years to come!  When you add a couple more kids to the mix and have to keep their clothes clean and negotiate smiles under said exhausted state, your house becomes such a pleasant place..... Ha!

Despite all of THAT.... we did it.... again :)   And AGAIN, I'm so happy we did.  My girlfriend Michelle, an incredible wedding photographer offered to help me capture some images of our family that first week.  I have to laugh at the ridiculousness of the illusion the pictures create.... a peace filled home where we're all put together, smiling, and oh how quiet a picture is... quiet.... what is THAT?   I looked like that for all of one hour that day.... as soon as the camera was put away, I was back in pajama's and I think I took a two hour nap, totally spent at having created an image I'd be willing to hang on the wall.  I wanted to share some of the awesomeness that was created, cause I just LOVE them, and all the handsome men I get to be surrounded by now!

 Thanks Michelle VanTine Photography for the amazing pic's  I LOVE them!!!!  

The Unofficial Guide to being a REAL Man

Last night I went out with the girls.  At one point our conversation turned toward men, and we mused for awhile over this conundrum:  A staggering collection of intelligent, confident, faith filled, successful, and beautiful single women are available, and no MEN are pursuing them.  Collectively we didn't come up with much of a conclusion.... it remained a mystery.  Until this morning.

I stumbled across this article "The Unofficial Goldman Sachs Guide to Being a Man", and about choked on my breakfast.

(The remainder of my post won't make much sense till you read it)

Dear God.... if this is what it means to be a man in our world today.... Lord help us...

As I read through it, I became more and more convinced they got the title wrong, and it should have been the Unofficial Guide to Being a Pompous Ass, or overgrown Frat Boy.  I find it interesting, the term was never "Frat Man"... maybe it was because subconsciously everyone knew that behavior wasn't indicative of what it meant to be a man.  That might be a bit of a harsh assessment... there were a FEW legit points in there.... a VERY few.

Yes the 'Times New Roman in the streets wingding in the sheets girl' DOES exist, but if you think she would be interested in the 'man' this list suggests, you would be sorely mistaken.  The list sounded like a great start, if your goal in life is to star in the cast of Mad Men, or be a career bachelor.  However, if you want to be a REAL man, one that can not only catch a girls eye, but hold it indefinitely, an entirely different list should be consulted.

I'm not offering myself up as any expert, but I've been married to a REAL man for going on 10 years, and I've experienced the attributes that not only caught me, but continue to make me swoon over a decade later.  Not one has to do with an affinity for whiskey, expensive sunglasses, cash in a front pocket, or accruing an impressive wine collection for our children.

So.... mostly serious (and with some humor) I offer up: The Unofficial Woman's Take on Being a Real Man:

• First, if you're looking for that 'Times New Roman in the streets' girl.... you better be well versed in it yourself... Have some integrity, its not fair to court the good girl, while you're playing the bad boy.  
• Be confident your self-worth is not tied to your net-worth.... if a woman makes you think otherwise, don't bother with her, she's got her own lessons to learn.
• Open doors and give up your seats when necessary... always
• Don't make wide spread generalizations about people, it only serves to highlight your ignorance.
• Be the first to forgive.
• Fight only for what you would give your life defending, little else is worth it.
• Admit mistakes
• Don't use words like 'murse', 'manscape', or 'bromance' in any serious conversation
• Don't be intimidated by another's success, celebrate it, no matter the race, class, gender, or age.
• Aspire to serve someone other than yourself
• When you look at a woman.... see her like this.
• Man up..... Women are just as scared of 'til death do us part as men are.  We aren't trying to 'trap' you, but who is supposed to be helping whom overcome fears... There is nothing sexier than a man who steps up in the face of fear, and can calmly lead another through it.
• Don't be afraid to start a marriage/family younger than you think is 'wise'.... Building a life with someone, is just that.... a building process.  With each layer of work the structure get's stronger and stronger, and all who contribute are vested in its success.  Its not the same if you build something and just invite another person in to see what YOU have built... if they didn't build it with you, its as easy to see them in as it is to see them out.
• Live for a legacy, not a livelihood... meaning be there for your family... they are your people, your tribe, and you are the leader.... LEAD... when its not fun, when no one wants to follow, whenever.
• When the time comes: Cook, do laundry, scrub a toilet, and babysit: for a few hours, over night, for the weekend, whatever.... Its not glamours, you won't end up on the cover of GQ for it, but your woman will stand in awe of you and sing your praises to anyone that will listen.
• Don't complain.... Do something to make it better
• and yes.... #StopItWithTheHashtags

There are probably at least 100 other things my girlfriends could contribute, and ladies feel free, cause it would appear the men could use an alternative point of view on what we see as attractive!

6wks down.... 6 to go

I've been on maternity leave for going on 6wks, and have mentally composed about 1000 blogs, then the end of the day comes and I crawl into a bag of chocolate chips (err.... bed... I mean bed) and stay there for awhile.  The chocolate chips aren't doing much to get my pre-baby-body back, but I keep telling myself that's what these next 6wks are all about.... it would sound more convincing if I wasn't munching on some M&M's while typing this.  Meh.... I got all three kids down for naps at the same time, if that isn't worthy of a little celebratory M&M munching, then really nothing is!

It's been a blur... seriously... We've been to water parks, zoo's, museums, Virginia Beach, Pittsburgh, and Michigan, and have seen just about every single one of our existing extended family members!  The house is under construction... FINALLY... after our two month long plumbing nightmare, and Kevin just started his new job.... its been a busy 6wks!

The side effects are quite noticeable between Cub and Logan.... They've gone off the rails.  We've blurred the lines of reality, and fun 'new baby' life, and they've lost their compass.  Case and point, Logan's three day bender of coloring on all manner of surfaces that are NOT paper.  "Bender's" have a slightly different definition when you're three years old.  First it was an orange sharpie on my dad's white exterior siding of his house.... awesome.  Next, we had green marker on the floor of a school supply store, luckily that was easily remedied.  Unfortunately last nights crayon to his bedroom wall and dresser looks like it may require a bit more attention.  Not to be outdone, Caleb is having a great time excising his 'big brother' status and letting us know what he will and will not be doing.  He forget's who he's messin with... not gonna fly wee man.  He had his own minor infraction at the school supply store, walking out with a fancy little eraser (by accident I'm sure), but we got a good teachable moment outta that one, when he had to walk back in and explain to the lady what he'd done, apologize, and ask for forgiveness.  To top all that off, Logan decided to just pee on the floor this morning, despite having a diaper on, and being a few feet from the bathroom, the floor apparently seemed like a better option.   Yes, the wheels have come off.  I'm strongly considering solitary confinement..... for myself.....but this 2 hour nap, that all three are taking, will have to suffice.

It's been 6 weeks of anything goes.  It's been crazy, but its been a blast too.  Sure we're paying a small price right now with a week or two where we batten down the hatches, and remind the lil men that yes, order will be restored, anarchy will not be tolerated.  Then I've got 6 more weeks, which I know will FLY by way too fast, where we find this new groove we'll operate in.... I'm excited.... and freaking out a little bit.  A tidal wave of panic hit as everyone else's kiddo started Kindergarten and I wondered for the 6,874th time if I'm doing the right thing.   Then I have to remind myself to breath, this isn't permanent, and thank God for other 'spicy mama's' out there that march to the beat of their own drum and are certain they are raising career criminals as a result of the parenting choices as well!

For those that missed it earlier, I posted 'our' first day of school pictures as well.....  Not your typical "Big Yellow Bus" picture, and I'm fairly certain Cub's lesson was somewhat atypical for Kindergarten curriculum as well....  I'm thinking this will just serve as a useful documentation for any punk that wants to call my kid a weirdo for homeschooling.....   Sure we may be weird.... but we are also quite bad ass!

Contentedly Contending

I wish I understood more about the business of prayer, and how God works through them.  How some seem to be answered without ever having asked for them, some remain unanswered indefinitely, and others are answered at varying times across that indefinite spectrum.   But.... There are many MANY things about faith, that I can't explain, and yet have come to accept as truth because, to me, there is something more gratifying in believing someone cares about the details of my life and partnering with me in them, over chalking it up to dumb luck.

The most recent evidence I have in proving my theory that someone cares about partnering with me in the details of my life would be exhibit A:  The Contend Card our Church passed out when we launched the new series this past May.

I've experienced the stress of waiting until the 11th hour for an answered prayer, convinced God was trying to give me a heart attack so we could meet before answering said prayer.  I've also experienced the disappointment of prayers that STILL haven't been answered.  So imagine my delight and gratitude when God decided to answer FIVE prayers EARLY!!!  Technically, our "Contend" series goes until the end of August at church, and here we are at the start of August.... 

#1 Kevin accepted an offer for a great new job two weeks ago

#2 Sweet baby AJ made an All-Star appearance into the world without a hint of a complication

#3 Against ALL odds we found an amazing home that perfectly suits our growing family without breaking the bank

#4 The Home-School conference Caleb and I attended got us all set up for the fall

#5 RIGHT before life got crazy with baby, move, new job for Kev, and homeschooling this Fall, God raised up the most AMAZING Metro Group structure ever, led by one of the coolest spiritual giants I know, and provided a smooth exit for me to focus on navigating all the transition for my family well.

High five God..... I'm just gonna stand here dumbfounded for a little while longer at your awesome-sauce!

Since He's obviously on a roll, I would hate to be the limiting factor by only giving Him 5 prayers to answer, so I figured it was time to update my "Contend" card, and let Him continue to show off.... 

#1: Husbands.... lots and lots of HUSBANDS (not for me ofcourse, I'm quite content with the gem I've got), but you see I know far too many AMAZING women, that are just waiting on guys to wise up and mature into the spiritual leaders God has called them to be.  So God, do your thing, move their hearts, mature 'em up fast, cause they do NOT want to miss out on the beauties I know for some dumb job or a few more bucks in their bank account!

#2: There is this one job out there, its for a friend of mine, and its freaking amazing.  It's so amazing that God has been working on securing it for her for 8+ months now.... If He could just go ahead and tackle whatever final obstacle is keeping her from it, that would be spectacular.  We get there are all sorts of lessons to be learned in the wait, we've learned lots in 8+ months, we think learning a new job sounds pretty fun now :)

#3: Health.... I'm so thankful for the health God has given to my family, and I'll continue praying for our health, but I have a friend that is now battling breast cancer, so God you can go ahead and give that the one/two punch.... and another friend whose brother is in the slow recovery process from a motorcycle accident, if you could just knit all those pieces back together, another friend undergoing yet another round of IVF, we're believing you are ready to deliver a sweet sweet miracle through that process, as well as the safe delivery of at least 10 more babies due at our church the rest of this year.  Also if you could give a little extra comfort to my sweet nephew with a little burned hand, and to the daughter of a friend with a broken arm, to another sweet baby girl born with a club foot and her awesome mama as they walk through her recovery, and one more amazing rock star mama friend that has been dealing with a NASTY epidural headache since the birth of her sweet boy 2 months ago, while also managing her two other kiddos while her military husband is away on assignment, that would be fantastic!

Those 3 are actually like 10+ if you count all the people they would impact, so God, go ahead.... do your thing, show the world your awesome-sauce.... there is nothing more we love to marvel at!

Thanks!!!

With Love,

Contentedly Contending!

You did WHAT?!? A Home Birth Story

After Kevin and I had been dating awhile, I'd learned the interesting fact that he and one of his brothers had been born at home.  Very seriously I looked at him and said that would be a tradition that would NOT be carried on, that I was very much looking forward to all the drugs I could get my hands on.  I also said I would NEVER home-school, or be 'that' mom with the dirty 'mom' car.

Given my track record, I've started saying "I'm NEVER going to have a girl"..... ;)

So many people have asked about the 'birth story', I figured it was about time to put it all down before those wicked fancy hormones come along and erase all recollection of the event.  I can already feel them nipping at the corners of the memories and replacing them with sweet smelling infant elixir!

The first question I get most often is WHY?  Why give up the option of drugs?  Why risk the mess at home?  Was I insane?   The jury is still out on the insanity plea, but the easiest answer is, it made sense for our family.  I had a history of fast labors.  We did not enjoy all of the 'protocols' hospitals subject you too unnecessarily, and the never ending trail of bills that stacked up were enough to convince us to see what alternatives existed.    We used the mid-wives at Birth Center, right on King Street, and the entire experience was phenomenal.  I never felt rushed through an appointment, they cared about all the details, and were very encouraging in whatever choices I wanted to make throughout the pre-natal process.

As my due date loomed closer, I made sure to reiterate often that my history was to go quickly when things got started, as I was a little nervous I'd miss the timing and that Kevin would be catching this one.... Which almost happened anyway!

Sunday started out like most do.  I'd been having contractions throughout the night, but they were very irregular, and I could doze in/out between them, so when morning came around I didn't see any reason not to get ready and head to church.  I told Kevin that I thought it 'could be' today or tomorrow, and he suggested we stock up on a few extra groceries after church.  Things remained pretty irregular throughout the morning, and in an effort to make some progress we went for a walk to the park with the boys after lunch, which was followed by a nap after my interrupted night of sleep.   Contractions woke me up again, and were getting closer together, so after Kevin finally had enough and stood directly in front of me, I finally called a mid-wife around 4pm to let them know what was going on.  The contractions were regular now, but still manageable, and I didn't want them going away, so we hit the pavement again for another walk around the neighborhood.

At 5:30p, it seemed pretty obvious that our efforts would pay off and that baby was in fact on his way, so I called the mid-wife back and said they better head our way.  We sat down for dinner, and talked with the boys about what was about to happen, and then things started to pick up intensity for me and I headed to my room to get as ready as I could. At about 6:30pm the mid-wives showed up and Hannah got home to help keep the boys distracted.... Everything moved REAL fast from there.  I asked them to check me, and I was already at a 7, and over the course of the next 30 minutes it all blurred together.... I remember asking for guidance on how to manage the pain better, and they suggested a warm shower to help relax me, that lasted for about one contraction and I told them I had to push and 3 minutes later AJ was here.  I know... not much of a 'story'.... but it just moved SOOOOO fast!  The mid-wife teased me that she'd never seen a woman ready to push move as quickly as I did from the shower to my room, but adrenaline must have kicked in by that point, cause I was only focused on one thing, whatever had to be done to make the pain stop and getting the baby out seemed to be the fastest way!

I had been praying for this labor, since the moment we decided to venture it at home.  Pleading with God that it move quickly, and be as pain-free, or at least manageable as possible.  As they managed all of the after-birth details, I just kept saying "thank you Jesus".... SO thankful that He'd delivered above and beyond, a perfect birth!  While I'd be lying if I didn't say there were certainly about 10-15 minutes where drugs would have been AWESOME, overall the experience outweighed those minutes a thousand to 1!  Being able to recover in the comfort of my own home, without Dr's poking/prodding me every few hours, being here for the boys to wander in and out at their leisure without having to send Kevin home to pick-up/drop-off etc...  Yes, to the second most often asked question.... I would do it again :)

Since things moved as fast as they did, we didn't capture much of the laboring process on camera, but below are a few of the fun pic's of them doing the new born exam afterward.

                                                          AJ getting ready to be weighed

                                                          Dad, weighing AJ for the first time

                                                         Logan, Checking Daddy's heart out

                                                           Dr. Cubby Alspaugh

The great mid-wife team: Marsha, Elise (Student), & Lori

                                                     Our newly minted "Party of 5"

Welcome to the world Andrew Joseph "AJ" Alspaugh!  You are an answer to many prayers, and we are so thankful God gave you to us!!!

Andrew Joseph Alspaugh

8lbs 4oz 21.5" Long

Born at 7:28pm on Sunday 7/28

Kissed by God on the nose before landing in our hearts forever!

The Cuckoo's Nest

It's near impossible for me to believe that just over a month ago, I was lounging on a beach in St. Thomas looking at pristine tropical waters and reading for fun.   After the insanity of this past month, I'm even MORE thankful for that time!

For a good 2-3 weeks after that trip we had to listen to Logan scream (SCREAM) in terror/agony throughout the day because he was afraid to poop.  We're still not totally out of the woods there, but are at least now down to manageable whining.... I think it was just a process of desensitization, I'm not sure I can actually hear anymore.

Days after returning we launched our summer semester of Metro Groups.  I love the small group community at our church, and love being a part of making the semesters work.  However it became quite clear as that week progressed, and I was heading out of town with Caleb that weekend for the HomeSchool conference, that the time it took to coordinate such activities, would SOON be in short supply!

The following weekend, in an attempt to find some normalcy we had friends over for dinner..... Yes, that was the night our basement also flooded, and the day before I found the link to what is now our new rental.  Fast forward three weeks of packing, packing, packing, moving, and unpacking.... ad naseum.   The house is amazing, and I'm so thankful for it, but that doesn't mean its come without its fair share of  'character building opportunities'.   For example, the weekend we moved in, with no hot water and no AC, at 8 months pregnant..... yes, that was fun.  As I embraced all the space, I just kept saying "First world problems" over and over in my head to keep perspective.... it worked for the most part, and didn't hurt that we have great friends in the area that let me snag a shower at their place!   Then we discovered that the kitchen sink didn't work, nor did the washer dryer, the garage door, and the fridge leaked.   Manageable.   Got those items fixed, only to have THIS basement flood because when the plumbers came to fix one issue they created another by leaving a piece of paper towel in the utility sink which overflowed when the laundry was done..... Wouldn't have been the biggest deal if it hadn't resulted in the buckling of all the pergo floors in the basement which we've now had to rip up and work to get those replaced this week.

In addition to ALL of that, is my increasing need to 'nest' as I realize in THREE weeks, little man is going to join us.  I'm shocked with all the activity he hasn't made is big debut already, as this past weekend was jam packed painting the nursery and master bedroom, so at least TWO room could be close to done before baby A get's here.  Needless to say its a bit crazy round here, or affectionately referred to as the Cuckoo's Nest currently :)  God has been good, keeping grace and fairly good attitudes in check.  We're praying that the plumbing company will help to right their wrong, that Kevin will be able to focus on an interview opportunity tomorrow, that Baby A will allow us to continue getting as settled as possible before his big debut, and we're able to find our new 'normal' soon!

We've been off the grid for awhile, but now you know why :)  We hope to resurface soon, with one more in tow!