How to NOT Make Mud

The boys have been loving this warmer weather, which I do as well, because it means the mess moves OUTDOORS... and by mess, yes, I mean the boys. After all the rain we had earlier in the week, it was pretty muddy out, so I was doing my best to keep them out of the mud.  That is one difference between girl brain and boy brain.... we are predisposed to avoid mud, they are drawn to it like moths to flame.  When Kevin got home from work he gave them the green light to run through the yard barefoot so the mud could squish between their toes.  They were in heaven.

What happened next was both ingenious and horrifying, something that could only be conjured in the head of a small boy.  The mud was starting to dry throughout the yard, and they were finding it harder and harder to squish it between their toes.  Apparently at that exact moment, mother nature called with a plan to solve all their problems.... Pee in the mud.... and then JUMP in it?!?  Insta-mud!  Peeing outdoors is one of their more favorite pastimes, so watching that was nothing out of the ordinary.  It was when their feet left the ground, that I understood the rest of their plan, and that millisecond was not enough time to respond.  Gross.  I will NEVER understand boy brain.

That brought an immediate end to our muddy adventures and we decided it was time to rinse off and jump in the tub.  We got everyone clean, and I was out drying AJ off and getting his jammies on when this sweet lil stinker came out to greet me with another fun surprise....

What made it even funnier was that he didn't even acknowledge it when he walked up and asked me for a snack, as if he'd already forgotten his shenanigans, he probably had.  It's an infuriating skill that has likely driven parents mad for centuries, I remember pulling the same antics with mine.  After doing something mischievous, and getting caught in it, looking at my parents with the most innocent of faces and denying it up and down.  When the boys do it to me, it pulls me up short EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.  I can know that I know that I KNOW, they did it, and then they are so sweet and emphatic that they did NOT do anything, and every time they get me to doubt myself, even if just for a second.  Stinkers!

I mean, look at that face.  How could you suspect that face of wrong doing?   In all honesty, hair isn't that big of a deal to me, so I just laughed at this one.   Most people would have cleaned their kids head up by now.... not me.   He's still rocking it, and will likely do so all through the weekend.  Friends at church.... your welcome in advance for the laugh!

The Wilderness: Social Media Edition

My mom and dad would probably faint if they knew I'd legitimately given something up for lent.  I experience these parenting moments from time to time now, so I can relate.  When you've made the same request a thousand times, threatened consequence, yelled, bribed, all to no avail.... and then one day, out of nowhere, you see your kids doing exactly what you had asked, out of their own motivation.  Half of you wants to cry out of pure joy, the other part contemplates beating them for putting you through hell to get there.  In the end you walk away with a satisfied smile, faith restored that they MIGHT make it.

I went to a Catholic church every Sunday for 18 years, and EVERY. SINGLE. holy day of obligation that existed, it was just the way it went.  Once ya' get in that vein of repetition, its hard to remember to think about what you're actually doing.  We were told to give something up, so we did, and promptly 3 days later we'd figure out ways to start cheating, sneaking, and the game began for the next 37 days.... Why does forbidden fruit always taste so good?

If I'm being honest, I never really cared enough to understand the point of lent, but I stumbled across a definition this past Fat Tuesday that struck a chord with me.

"Lent.  Its the preparing the heart for Easter.  Like going with Jesus into the wilderness for forty day, that we might come face to ugly face with our enemy.  Our sacrificing that we might become more like Christ in His sacrifice."

I'm no saint, so the idea of giving up food again, after just finishing the Daniel Fast for 3 weeks in January, was not sounding super appealing.  However, one of the other points that stuck out to me in this blog I was reading was the following:

"One needs to be dispossessed, by the possessions that posses, before one can be possessed by God."

Facebook was the first thing that popped into my mind, so I decided to go with it.  Three days in this time, was way different than last time.  I'm not in withdrawals.  Not looking to score a hit.  I'm feeling free and loving it!  Sure I wonder what's going on, but I'm realizing when I spend so much time reading everyone else's words I never leave enough time to write my own.  Three says in, and it didn't take long for me me to come 'face to ugly face' with enemy.  Comparison.  How could I write in my blog when I'm so busy reading everyone else's and their words seem cooler, their topics seem more relevant, their experiences funnier, etc...  Which probably explains why I only write maybe 30-40 blogs a year.... I'm too busy reading everyone else's!

However, unplugging from one outlet has freed me up to focus on the one I truly enjoy.  I'm looking forward to seeing what other fun revelations I discover here in my 'wilderness', looking forward with great anticipation to an incredible Easter!

When it's O.K. to say "Go to Hell" on Valentines Day!

A little Wikipedia search revealed, much to my surprise, that Valentines Day wasn't originally contrived in the pocketbooks of Hallmark's finest.  Surprisingly, it was originally celebrated in honor of the Christian Saints that sacrificed much, in most cases their lives, for their faith.  Legend has it, that the name was derived from St. Valentine as he signed his last letter to his love before execution, 'with love, your Valentine'.  How it was wholly corrupted to pad the bottom line of card makers, flower shops, and chocolateirs around the world is beyond me.  Although, given the rather unsettling norm of our world, to corrupt what was once honorable and pure in an attempt to get rich quick, I shouldn't be entirely surprised.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total curmudgeon...  The boys and I went on a fun date for breakfast, and I've got a few tricks up the sleeve for dinner tonight and a date tomorrow with my main man.

However, its not lost on me that I fall into a very blessed minority of happily married to the love of my life.  I'm just not able to make it through the day remaining blissfully ignorant of the majority, those that feel the absolute opposite of Love on this 'special' day.

A few of my fave bloggers have already commented on this: Jen Hatmaker & Glennon, and their words are always cooler than mine.  So for the single parent, or the unexpectedly separated, or the unhappily married.... look there for a little encouragement.  For me, there are so many incredible women whom I love so dearly that are still waiting on that one.... and I just wanted to add a few words of my own to celebrate how incredible I think they are!

These women are the REAL DEAL.... They could see the world we're living in, and they could choose to settle, to give up little pieces of what make them incredible, to try and conform to the expectations of another.... believing a lie that in doing so they'll find what they are looking for.  These women know better.  They are the smartest, most beautiful women I've ever met, simply because of that unshakable faith that they are created perfect and whole.  These women live out purpose filled lives, transforming the arenas they live their life in, simply by shining their light as bright as they can.  They brave the hard days with a grace and dignity that I have not seen surpassed by anyone.... They truly are the greatest!  I am believing in full faith with them, that there is a man worthy of their awesomeness, that won't challenge them to fade into a shadow so they can feel better, that won't ask them to compromise their beliefs, but will compliment them in all the best ways is on his way.... It's just one holy battle of epic proportions because this world is just not prepared for the game changers they'll be together!

In a world that says sacrifice just a little of yourself, and I'll give you everything you could ever want.... They stare unflinchingly back, and say Go To Hell!    Love you ladies!!!  Keep being the rock stars I know you to be!!  You are LOVED beyond measure!!

Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart"

The Miracle of Keeping Tiny Humans Alive.... (or Motherhood)

If you haven't read this, you don't know about the little project I'm undertaking through the end of the year.  I'm taking time to remember the miracles that have occurred in my life, to remind myself that God is very much in the details and cares about even the smallest components of our lives.  If in the process I'm able to remind another about the miracles He's accomplished in their life, that's awesome too!  'Tis the season for remembering miracles!  If you wanna catch up: Miracle #1,Miracle #2, Miracle #3, Miracle #4

One of the more shocking miracles of my life, is the fact I'm a Mom.  In truth, that isn't the most shocking part.  The reality that almost 6 years into this gig my kids are alive, seemingly well adjusted, and I haven't been arrested or committed is.  I offer this post up as hope to women out there convinced they don't have a maternal bone in their body.   Me either, but I got 3 kids determined to prove me wrong.

I have no desire to make play-doh, build forts, or play hide and seek for 26 hours a day.  Zero.  I can have a mad dance party, but that's only because those would occur with or without tiny humans present to partake.  In actuality their presence likely keeps the music in a more acceptable genre, because I occasionally imagine myself as a bit of a thug.... so really, who is the parent keeping whom out of trouble?  Exactly.

While talking to a friend who just had her first babe, the topic of a mom's insane protection instinct came up.  She asked if it ever tempered at all.  My response, "Nah, wait till it get's really irrational and you seriously think about kicking a kindergartner in the knees because she cut your three year old off on the play ground, knocking him over."  Apparently God gave me JUST enough maternal instinct to cover my own kids, kindergartners consider yourself warned.

My natural reaction to a mess isn't, 'awwww the kids are being so creative and having fun'....  It is incredibly censored, to the point I've already had to ask God to forgive what I THOUGHT about saying, before a very tight lipped "Please make sure that get's cleaned up when your done." makes it out of my mouth.  Then when, inevitably, it doesn't get cleaned up, I'm literally saying 'be thankful, be thankful' over and over as I pick up blocks, clothes, crumbs, books, cars, etc... for the umpteenth time, as a way to psych my brain out.

When they fall at the playground, I'm the mom that waits to see if tears come before moving.  If they don't, I give 'em a high five and say 'way to stick that landing'.  By the time we FINALLY make it to bed time each day, I'm all but racing to the finish line.  There are no character voices to the books we read, in fact if I can influence the choice at all to be under 8 pages, I consider it a major win.  Most nights my prayers over them include a plea to God to keep them in their beds, while giving them sweet dreams of course, but PLEASE God, keep them in their beds.

But.....  The thing about kids..... its all but impossible to look at them and not marvel at the miracle that they are.  I got to help CREATE that?!?   What the what!?!?   Especially when you get older, and realize all those things you held as inalienable rights, that you would get married, and have kids when YOU wanted, aren't inalienable at all.  It makes it all the more miraculous.

WE are supposed to love THEM unconditionally, but somewhere along my path the World taught me all about conditional love.  Then I had them.  THEY reminded ME, what it looked like.  When I was grumpy or tired, and found myself snapping, they didn't care.  When I was scared at the overwhelming size of the task before me, raising them, they just smiled and laughed.  They wipe the slate clean every single morning, no matter what happened the day before, and let me try again.  They reminded me how to do the same for them.  When they wake me up 5 times a night, puke in my hair, spill grape juice on the carpet, color with marker on the walls, drive me bonkers with antics at the dinner table, or stall for hours at bed.... We can try again together tomorrow.  That is a miracle.  The thing about miracles, they are all unique, like snow flakes.  When and how you find your man, when and if you have kids, the demeanor and needs of those kids, how you parent.   It takes all kinds to make the world go round.  Clearly, as evidenced below.

Nobody's perfect.... There is no perfect mom, and there are no perfect kids, but as my fave Momastery blog reminds me, 'we belong to each other'.... so we keep trying everyday to get a little better.

The Miracle of Healing

If you haven't read this, you don't know about the little project I'm undertaking through the end of the year.  I'm taking time to remember the miracles that have occurred in my life, to remind myself that God is very much in the details and cares about even the smallest components of our lives.  If in the process I'm able to remind another about the miracles He's accomplished in their life, that's awesome too!  'Tis the season for remembering miracles!  If you wanna catch up: Miracle #1,Miracle #2, Miracle #3

If you've never driven across the country with a 3 month old and 2 year old, I don't recommend it.  The drive from Texas to Alexandria took us 27 hours, required 2 nights in a hotel, and about nearly did me in.  Caleb was just beginning to expand his vocabulary and wanted to try out his words the ENTIRE way.  I'd never been so happy to arrive some place in my entire life!  Kevin had made a solo trek out a couple weeks prior with all of our furniture and set up our new place so when we arrived we decided to spend the rest of the day walking through Old Town and exploring our new city!  Thoroughly exhausted from the trip and our adventures of the day we got home and started to get jammies on for our first night in our new apartment.

Caleb 'unpacking' Logan from the big move :)

I can still picture every detail of what happened next.

At 3 months Logan was just kicking his feet in the air as we worked to get Caleb's pajama's on.  Caleb was jabbering away about something when suddenly he just stopped talking, walked across the room, directly into our entertainment center, and then crumpled into a pile on the floor.  I called his name and told him to stop messing around, that we weren't done getting his pajama's on.  He didn't respond.  I walked over to where he was, he was just staring at the ceiling.  I called his name again, and then out of no where his whole tiny two year old body started convulsing and seizing.  I screamed for Kevin who grabbed him and held him, trying to get him to respond, and I started to call 911.  I didn't even know our new address yet when they asked for it, I had to scramble to find our lease with the address on it to make sure I got it right.  The longest 3 minutes of my life later, I could hear the sirens in the distance, and the seizing had stopped but Cub was still laying unresponsive in Kevin's arms.  When the paramedics got into our apartment he was just starting to come to, very disoriented and very groggy.  They loaded him and Kevin into the ambulance, and Logan and I followed them to the hospital.  I've never felt more scared or helpless in my life.

 Enjoying a Popsicle in the ER after about giving his mom and dad a heart-attack!

The diagnosis at that time was the stress of the move, the long road trip and sitting in a car seat for that long, was simply too much and this was his two year old body manifesting that stress to release it.  They didn't expect it to repeat, and after the tests they ran in the ER confirmed that overall he was healthy, they released us.  That week we googled churches in the DC metro area, to see if we could find one to try out that Sunday, and at the top of the list was "DC Metro Church".... We figured we'd give it a shot.  We enjoyed our first Sunday, everyone was friendly, it was close by, seemed like a good fit.

The next Sunday, as we were getting ready for church, the chattering coming from the boys room suddenly went silent and I heard an ominous thud.  I rushed in to see Caleb seizing for the second time in just two weeks now.  Understanding just slightly better what to expect, and not wanting to subject him to another round through the ER after the doctors had told us what to do if it happened again, we rode it out and laid low for the day.  Over the course of those 5 remaining months of 2010 Caleb had a total of 9 seizures.  After the third one, I'd made an appointment with a Pediatric Neurologist to understand what was happening, and Caleb was diagnosed with Epilepsy, which was defined as the occurrence of more than 2 unprovoked seizures.  The Dr. recommended a drug that Cub would need to take daily for a year minimum, and she said a common side effect was that their personality and overall demeanor could change given the drugs direct effect on the brain.  As a mom, it was a treatment plan I just could NOT wrap my brain around.  My child was 2.  I was JUST beginning to meet his sweet little personality as he emerged into toddler-hood, and the thought of changing that with a narcotic left me incredibly uneasy..... but what choices did I have.  I asked if the occurrences of the seizures were damaging to Caleb in anyway, and the Dr. assured me that because of his age all but ensuring an adult would be present or near him at all times and able to respond immediately when one occurred, the actual seizures themselves did not hurt his brain, it was the risk of hurting himself while his body seized that was the bigger concern.  I decided to hold off on the daily drug while I researched alternatives.

As we started the New Year, our new church introduced us to their tradition of starting the year with a 21 day corporate fast.  I'd grown up with lent, so I understood the concept, although I don't think I was ever actually successful in abstaining for the full 40 days from whatever I choose to give up.  This time, the stakes were higher.  I was helpless to end the seizures on my own, and if I was going to ask for something as important as healing my son, I better dang well be ready to not cheat or complain about not having a few of my favorite foods for a couple weeks!  During the 3wk fast, they had a few evenings services of Praise & Worship, and at the last one they asked people to come forward if they were specifically looking for healing.  At that point, I was still not really comfortable with the idea of 'sticking out' in a service.  I much preferred blending in, but Kevin gave me the look this time and told me he was going to get Caleb out of children's ministry.  We brought him to the front, and our lead Pastor and his wife prayed over Caleb and then we went back to our seats.  Another little girl was brought forward by her parents right behind us, right about Caleb's age, but her legs were completely wrapped in braces, and she used a tiny little walker to keep her upright while trying to walk.  At the end of the service our Pastor specifically highlighted Caleb and this little girl one more time for the congregation to pray over, and with that the service and the 21 day fast was over.

Lightning never struck.  I didn't hear an audible voice from heaven that the miraculous had occurred.  What did happen, however, was that as the days of 2011 passed, Caleb made it through the whole year with only TWO seizures, and then 2012, and now 2013 have passed and we have never had to experience another one.  No personality inhibiting narcotics, no invasive surgeries, no days/weeks spent with Dr.'s trying to understand what I never could.  A miracle!  If that wasn't convincing enough, watching that little girl that came up for prayer behind Caleb, and getting to know their family, I learned that shortly after that service THEY were contacted (they didn't make contact, someone reached out to THEM) by a Dr. who had a procedure he thought would work in correcting their daughters legs.  They went through the procedure and now 3 years later, I've seen her walk and run across a room unassisted.  There is still evidence of an ailment in her legs, and its not perfect quite yet, but it is certainly a miracle none-the-less!

The Miracle of Testing Him

If you haven't read this, you don't know about the little project I'm undertaking through the end of the year.  I'm taking time to remember the miracles that have occurred in my life, to remind myself that God is very much in the details and cares about even the smallest components of our lives.  If in the process I'm able to remind another about the miracles He's accomplished in their life, that's awesome too!  'Tis the season for remembering miracles!  If you wanna catch up: Miracle #1, Miracle #2

Hindsight really is 20/20.  As I'm writing about the miracles we've experienced, its hard to see where one stops and the next one starts, as everything is intertwined to achieve an outcome we still cannot see or understand.  Getting hired at Dell and relocating to Austin was just another step.

I grew up Catholic.  We experience life through the lenses we're given, and for a long time my only view of religion was through the lenses of Catholicism.  We didn't have 'relationships' with Jesus, we believed in Him, but we prayed scripted prayers to Mary or the Saints, and sought absolution from Priests, that's just how I understood it.  We didn't need to read our Bibles, because it was read to us and explained to us on Sunday, by someone who dedicated their life to make sense of it, we weren't expected to understand it.  In my adolescent understanding, the church had existed forever, would continue to exist forever (with or without members), and giving was optional depending on if you had some spare change in your pockets or not.  It had always been fun on Sunday's when my mom would hand each of us girls a couple dollars to drop into the offering plate when it went by, I only ever saw the small bills pass as the plate went by and accepted that was what giving to the church looked like.

It would take COUNTLESS teachings before I would ever even begin to question that understanding.  In truth I didn't want to.  I was POOR in college.  My parents helped with half of the overall tuition, but the other half, room/board, books, food, and any other expense were on us.  At the time, when friends were getting it fully funded with access to a bank card that hit their parents account whenever they needed it, I thought I was getting a raw deal.  Now I'm thankful (yes, Mom and Dad, thankful) for the money management skills it taught me.  I didn't have a car, I rode public transit or walked.  I didn't have a cell phone or a computer, I wrote my papers at the computer lab in the library.  I ate pancakes probably 4 days a week because my dad worked for Krustez, and I had coupons for free mix that required me to add water.  My other meals were usually on shift while waitressing at Bennigan's.  I lived in a Frat house (yes, you read that correctly) the last semester I was in college, because the cost of the room for 6 months (all utilities included) was only $800 (10 years ago).  I'll write more about THAT experience some other time!  So when I got hired at Dell, it was all to easy to see that as something I had worked MY butt off for, and the fruit of the spoils were all mine to do with as I pleased.  With our wedding to pay for, Kevin starting school, and buying our first home, there were always plenty of places for the money to go.

Since giving wasn't discussed much, or at least that I remembered while growing up, I took immediate offense the first few times I heard teachings on it.  How dare they, I was always told it was rude to ask people for money.  However, slowly my defenses began to drop, the messages became less offensive and more convicting.  We were FINALLY approaching the end of Kevin's degree.  Had God not brought us to Austin through our relocation for Dell, Kevin never would have been able to attend The University of Texas and gotten his computer science degree from such a highly ranked school in his field.  Our blessings were undeniable, we'd survived a few very tough years of marriage, had Caleb and were pregnant with Logan.... However, Kevin was now experiencing the same drought I had, as he went on interview after interview looking for employment post graduation.

Leading up to the holidays in 2009, our church gave a message based on Malachi 3:10, essentially that we are to bring the whole tithe (our first 10% of our income), and that this one command was the only time in the entire Bible, that God encouraged us to 'test Him'.  I mulled it over for awhile, and decided that my New Years resolution that year would be to test Him.  Kevin needed an offer.  I remembered how depressed I had been walking through so much rejection, and I could see it in him.... what did I have to lose?

When we got back to work after the holidays, I set up my direct deposit on a Monday.  Kevin got a call from Oracle that Wednesday.  He had interviewed with them in OCTOBER.... it was January... and he heard nothing from them until two days after I decide to 'test' God?!?  Dead serious.  I was shocked.  Kevin even mentioned that given this offer would require a cross country move, maybe I should pull the direct deposit so we could save.  I think I told him I didn't want to get struck by lightning, so I wasn't touching one red cent.  After that a couple other offers came in that tempted us to think about staying, we could have made more and lived at a lower cost of living, but we just knew that it was an adventure we had to take.

Since taking the plunge and moving all the way out here, the INSANE cost of living makes it tempting to pull back sometimes, however God continues to prove the exact opposite true.  He's challenged us every year to give even more with miracle offerings as our church continues to grow, and every year we step out in faith He has exceeded our expectations.  When we first moved here the 4 of us crammed into 728sq ft, a year later we doubled that, and just this past summer we increased it again, all without compromising our location too much, and our housing budget hasn't changed either.  Both moves were crazy miracles of their own.... the first move we were picked out of a 20 person lottery to get the house, and this new place was a needle in a haystack Craig's List find with no picture and only two sentences in the ad.  Normally I wouldn't even give a listing like that a second look, but for whatever reason I sent a note, and here we are.
Testing Him with the tithe is a crazy miracle that I can't explain, that I fought for a  REALLY long time, but as I watch it play out year after year now for the past few years in my own life, I can't argue with it anymore.

Do you have a resolution this year???  Give it a shot.... test Him, what miracle are you waiting for? ;)

Logan crawling down the hallway of our first apartment when we moved out here.  The baby actually makes the apartment scale pretty accurate, as you can see roughly 90% of the place right here.  Back bedroom for the boys, our room to his right, the bathroom to his left, and a 10x10 living/dining room just in front of him.... you just got the whole tour!

What happened 24hrs after our move to Alexandria was one of the scariest tests of faith of my life, but also paved the way toward one of the top two miracles I've experienced as well!  More on THAT tomorrow....

My life isn't exactly a major cliff hanger, so I gotta build up suspense where ever I can ;)

The Miracle of Employment!

If you haven't read this, you don't know about the little project I'm undertaking through the end of the year.  I'm taking time to remember the miracles that have occurred in my life, to remind myself that God is very much in the details and cares about even the smallest components of our lives.  If in the process I'm able to remind another about the miracles He's accomplished in their life, that's awesome too!  'Tis the season for remembering miracles!  You can find my first post, entertaining angels, here.

February will mark my ten year anniversary with Dell.  How I got this job is another fun story of God working all things together for my good!

I'd like to say I researched my University of choice for its reputation in the degree program I sought.  HA!  I was ready to par-tay, and Michigan State was just the place for me!  My degree more or less picked me.  Science was ruled out for the simple fact it bored me to TEARS, I didn't have a particular affinity or patience for teaching, and without much creativity, I landed in the Business college.  I tried most of the specialties in the business college: marketing, accounting, and finance before discovering we had this new specialty called supply chain management, which we were apparently #1 in the country for.  I figured being #1 at something sounded good, and declared my major.

Fast forward to my last semester in college.  Kevin and I had been dating for about 2 years at that point and on homecoming weekend he popped the question!  Like any self respecting 21 year old I gawked at the bulging diamond on my left hand and thrust it in the face of all my girlfriends, completely bewildered that I was ENGAGED?!?!  I didn't give one thought to what that tiny little accessory would say to potential employers as I began the long and arduous road of interviews set before me that fall, and because of those strict HR rules, they didn't ask either.

Thirty Eight companies later.  Yes.... 38....  I was completely deflated.  I had interviewed EVERYWHERE.  I'd taken IQ tests for Abercrombie, sat across from a T.V. screen and recorded one for Pepsi, even flew down to Richmond for a second round with Philip Morris.  Every single company turned me down.  I was totally perplexed as my peers with lower GPA's and fewer extra-curriculars continued to get snapped up around me.  Looking for guidance I turned to the career counselors.  His first question was when I got engaged, and then followed up with if I'd been wearing my ring to the interviews.  I told him I had, not thinking anything of it, and in not such an obvious way, he told me to 'stop it'.  Apparently engaged at my age screamed undependable to prospective employers.  I was an investment not worth investing in because at some undisclosed point down the road I would quit to have babies, or relocate on a whim for my husband.  They couldn't ask the questions that would absolve me of those stereotypes so they were opting to play it safe, and I was none the wiser.

I talked with Kevin, and we agreed taking my ring off for the two remaining prospects I had left made sense. The only two interviews I had left were with Frito-Lay and Dell.  Frito-Lay's position was for 2nd shift warehouse manager in Detroit.   Can you guys even imagine that?!?   I was imagining 8mile, at night, in a warehouse, being a little blond haired naive manager, and figuring I'd probably die in my first week or something.  Not trying to be pre-judicial, but it was my 21 year old brain at work.... stereo-types ran rampant for me then.
The only other option was Dell... and after 38 rejections, my confidence for landing a job at the company that I'd spent the better part of the last 2 years studying in case-studies for their infamous supply chain was pretty low.  It didn't help that the second round interview required me to fly to Austin, and the return flight only gave me a 3hr buffer to make it to my graduation ceremonies.  I made it there and back for the interview, and readied myself to wait the 2-3wk window for feedback.

Two weeks passed, no news.  I sent an email to a buddy that had flown down with me, only to learn he had received an offer.  Frito-Lay contacted me, and had chosen another candidate.  I moved home, and went back to work, with my college degree, as a waitress at Bennigan's.  Three weeks passed, no news.  I sent them the obligatory note, thanking them and letting them know I was still interested.  No response.  Four weeks.  Five weeks.  I sent them another semi-polite note at six weeks.  No response.   Then one night, two months after my interview, I was laying in bed and I was pissed.  No responses, I gave them my time, I almost missed my graduation, and to get nothing in return was just rude.  Figuring I'd already lost the job and they were just too inconsiderate to let me know, I figured I'd send one more email.  It went like this:

To Whom it May Concern,

I know I am qualified to do the job you have asked.  Whether or not you want to hire me is up to you.  I would appreciate a response either way.

Sincerely,
Julie Summers

The next morning when I woke up I had the generic response, I'd grown so used to seeing, in my inbox.  They thanked me for my time and would keep my resume' on file for a year.  It didn't really bother me at that point, seeing as it was the response I'd expected, so I went about my day flower girl dress shopping with my little niece.  While at my soon-to-be Mother-in-law's house, I got a phone call.  Dell wanted me.  There had been a mistake in H.R. and my email the night before had alerted the hiring manager to the lapse.  They let me know an offer letter was in the mail, and looked forward to my response.  I think the lady on the phone was questioning their choice as my voice couldn't possibly have climbed another octave higher as I profusely thanked her.

Had I gotten a single offer, no matter HOW sad the prospect was, prior to that moment, I would have taken it out of desperation.  Had I taken my ring off earlier in the process maybe that would have happened.  Had I not sent a middle of the night random email, H.R's lapse might have gone unnoticed indefinitely.  The waiting, the rejections, the ring.... it had all worked together to land me my dream job!  Miracle!

God opened MANY doors for me at Dell, putting me on a project that allowed me to travel to Ireland, Singapore, and Italy.  Enabling me to obtain a patent for my project work, get published in an M.I.T. case study, and present to Micheal Dell himself!

All of this coincidentally laid the very foundation for what I will build upon..... tomorrow :)