Mirror Mirror on the Wall

I find it strangely appropriate that my friend Melissa wrote a blog about "Hard Walls, Hard Heads", literally hours before I listened to an awesome message about "Finding my Purpose", at church Sunday morning.

I have been banging my head against a wall for sometime now, trying to determine what my purpose in life is.... But in one weekend, I think my efforts have paid off (just a little)... My HARD head, finally broke through the wall!

Time for a little self reflection.....

I often feel like telling someone I'm an extrovert, is akin to convincing them the sky is in fact blue... I imagine them thinking something like "thank you captain obvious", while they smile politely and nod. So, to a self proclaimed extrovert, you can imagine the physical pain it causes me being tethered to a desk in the confines of my bedroom, for ~8hours a day, with spans of multiple days were my farthest reach to the outside world is a walk to the pool with the boys.

(Insert silent... or not so silent... scream....Followed by: Wooooooosaaaaaaa...)

O.k. I'm feeling better.

I kept bringing it before God, on EVERY 'Expecting' card my church would hand out... I'd write "Guidance for a new career path", in prayer throughout the day, I know he knew my petition. I couldn't accept that God would put someone he's wired SO obviously to be with people, in a corner.... I mean "Nobody puts Baby in the Corner" ;).

This weekend it struck me... God's not 'Nobody' (or even just somebody) he IS "I Am".... and Baby still has some growing up to do.

I was a non-confrontational people pleaser, who craves acceptance... That's a dangerous statement people, and the truth of the matter is, "I was" is still dangerously close to "I am". God know's this.... He also knows, as a good parent, occasionally he needs to step in and protect us from ourselves... In my case, get me to shut up long enough by sticking me in 'the hole' as I've affectionately named my room, so I can learn to hear his voice over my own.

He will fulfill his purpose in me. There is no other reason I can think of for him pulling us up out of Austin, and planting us in this AWESOME faith filled community of believers. He know's my heart is to be with people, but he alone will know when I'm ready to face confrontation and stand firm in his acceptance, not compromising my faith for the acceptance of those around me. Until then, he has surrounded me with some of the strongest believers I've ever met, whom separately are inspirational in their own right, but collectively.... There just aren't words for what their capable of... you'd have to experience it yourself to believe it.

The way I look at it now... God's version of solitary confinement has gotten a LOT better over the years... Moses had sheep... for 40 years (I really hope my head isn't THAT hard)... I've gotten to meet some amazing people and work out of my home while my boys are growing. While I'm still acting a little petulant, hoping I can get out early on good behavior :), I'm at peace that my time here isn't about the spreadsheets and e-mails I can tick off, its about all I'm learning in spite of that.

I think Brandon Heath said it best "There is hope for me yet, because God won't forget, all the plans he's made for me. I'll have to wait and see, He's not finished with me yet.... He's not finished with me yet".

***If your interested in watching the video podcast for the "Finding your Purpose" message, you can go to the following link, I think it should be posted out there by Tuesday/Wednesday at the latest: DC Metro Church Video Podcasts for "Vintage" Series. ***

Nap Time.... Thanks God

Whoever made the comment "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" either didn't have small children, was an atheist, or manic depressive at their inability to achieve cleanliness.

I'm actually disgusted with myself, as I choose to write this blog over picking up the crumbled granola bar on my kitchen floor. Why didn't I just pick it up? Because I did, about 10 minutes ago, and somehow its back there again?!?

It's nap time, so I will pick it up...again... before the tiny tornado's wake up and I usher them quickly outside in my feeble attempt at preserving a clean house for the 2 minutes Kevin will see it when he walks through the door. Exactly two minutes after that, you will never have been able to tell I spent the better part of their 2 hour nap putting this place back together.

It's absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to clean while their awake... This proven today as I tried to re-stack the books that Logan had pulled off the bookshelf, only to have him realize what I'd done, so he could return to the scene of the crime and do it again. Prior to that, I'd asked Caleb to stop dragging a plastic ball around the floor, because he was dragging it through the peanut butter and jelly sandwich Logan had pulled apart, and then thrown face down on the floor (which I was in the process of cleaning up). Instead of stopping, he continues with the action while asking "why does this bother you?"

-Deep Breath- (He's still pulling it around the floor)

I ask him to stop moving so I can show him, he drags the ball (still on the floor) over to where I am,-Deep Breath- , and I show him the trail of PB&J that is now running the width of his most recent track. "Daddy let's me do this". I'm sure this is a boldface lie, and since we are working on lying right now, I ask him if he's telling me the truth. "I don't want to tell you".

-Deep Breath-... Followed by silent prayer.... (or maybe it was a lamentation) "Dear God, this child is yours, can I get a little help here?"

Nap time.... Thanks God.

A Day in the Life of Me

I couldn't decide if I should title this post, "Adventures in Dining Out" or simply "Motherhood", as I realized my 'evidence' corroborated the first, but my 'experience' .... it could have been any day... anywhere... it just happened to get caught on camera at a restaurant. I found it rather amusing that my experience tailed so closely on the recent drama over kids being 'banned' from a restaurant. It didn't change my opinion on the ban, I think an overall ban might be extreme, but there are parameters, setting dining hour guidelines, that I think could be enforced to the betterment of all. Example, before 7pm all are welcome, afterward limiting it to an above age limit: giving fellow parents more sympathetic co-patrons to share their evening meal with, but allowing those looking for a certain ambiance, and relaxation to enjoy their meal as well.

Parents... We don't get ambiance anymore. There is no 'mood' lighting, or polite conversation being had in the company of toddlers and infants, maybe as they grow... I'm still waiting for that. What I get is more of a strobe light effect, if the light switch is within reach, and by way of polite, I get "Excuse me" from Caleb incessantly while he attempts to interrupt ANY conversation that does not include him. He's in his chair, and back out, on my lap, back down... Logan has taken to standing in his highchair after wriggling his legs free of the belt, an impending swan dive to the floor seems almost imminent now.

From the outside looking in, I could imagine an onlooker judging what would appear to be an utter lack of control. What that spectator wouldn't understand is I've already run the gamut of disciplinarian actions trying to 'mold' my boys into beacons of decorum. We've spanked, bribed, placed in time-out, gone without meals, sat for literally hours (I think 3 is the upper limit now) waiting for a plate to be cleared, We've scolded, praised, and everything that could possibly be in between... to no avail. I want to break bad habits, not his spirit, so I've retreated to regroup until I come up with some ingenious parenting move he won't see coming.

These antics aren't reserved for meal times though, as a 'ban' at restaurants would imply. I'm a jungle gym practically anywhere. Their energy knows no bounds, at least none I've discovered, and their curiosity and imagination is ENDLESS. I've come to the cross roads where I can either listen to myself harp on every little thing, essentially crushing their spirit, or I can let them push the bounds I would like to see them operate in, saving my strength to reign them in on their truly death defying stunts. Until I find that ingenious parenting move they've yet to discover, I'm opting for the latter.

To illustrate.... An action sequence....

Caleb had just sprinkled pepper on my arm, and as an alligator was attempting to devour it. Logan was trying to give me a zerbert, which he's recently learned, and also using my arm to pull himself up out of his chair. I had just discovered my mom was dying laughing as she caught this on camera.

This is my: I'm glad I can amuse you face, are you going to do anything to help me?

A brief respite... After the insanity subsides, what parent doesn't find them-self staring off into space, mind utterly blank, enjoying for a brief moment the lack of overwhelming stimuli. (Do take notice however of the toothpick that Caleb is using for his 'fork'.... this becomes important in the next picture)

Finally... The shot immediately after Caleb attempted to feed me off his toothpick... What had actually occurred: The toothpick came flying at my face with incredible speed and strength for a three year old, with no food on it, and once again I was grateful that God compromised my eye sight, and gave me an aversion for contacts, so my glasses could double as protective eye-wear.

***Notice all the while my left hand remains motionless in my attempt to use it as a barricade against Logan's escape attempts.... ahhhhh a picture of peacefulness and rest :) *****

Thanks mom for capturing "A day in the life of Me" :)

We're Moving!!!

I wish you could see it right now!

I've been picturing it all day, dreaming of furniture lay-outs, walks to the park, playdates, and backyard BBQ's!

It's beautiful, all ~1300sq ft. of it, and it feels like the Taj Ma Jal next to our current humble abode.

I'm going to have a dishwasher again, and my very own washer and dryer right in the basement...

I'M GOING TO HAVE A BASEMENT... AND an UPSTAIRS!!!

After reading the above, you would think I had been living in a van down by the river or something for the last year, that is not actually the case. We were truly spoiled by location here, and that's what made this past house hunt so arduous. I couldn't just give up all the cool stuff that was a stone's throw away just for the cookie cutter townhome or single family 5-10 miles further out in suburbia. I've actually been looking for months now, so I knew what a rare gem I had found the second it popped up on Craig's List. It still surprised me that a mere 2 days later he had over 30 interested parties, 24 lined up to see the property, and 19 that made it through with approved applications.

I would really like to pin this on our amazing good looks, winsome charm, well played humor, and obvious humility ;) (hehehe), but I did probably have upwards of 100 people praying about our housing situation, and particularly my love affair with this one property. So, to give credit where credit is due: Thank you to all my amazing prayer warriors! You guys ROCK, apparently we tipped the cup on this one!!!

For those of you who read this and are near... get ready for some great Game Nights and Metro Groups a la Alspaugh Abode! For those that are far, we've officially removed any barrier from your coming to visit us... You no longer have to sleep in the bathtub. We are less than 5 minutes from the airport, and have an entire basement with its own FULL bath... That's right, this baby has TWO full baths! So pack your bags, and claim your weekend, cause visiting the Nation's Capital just got one hotel's charge cheaper**!!!

**disclaimer** Given Caleb's propensity to hurl himself of any piece of furniture in his attempt to master the art of flying, and Logan's desire to communicate as often as possible in what can only be described as pure gibberish, we make no guarantee's as to the peacefulness of said visit, only that you'll have a freaking awesome time catching up with us!

Back from the Future

My household officially has its first i-device (ipod, ipad, iphone, etc...). For Kevin's birthday I headed to the Apple store, for my first time, to pick him up an ipod touch... it was quite an experience.

When I walked in I was astonished at how many people were in there, I was certain I had missed some big announcement about a newly minted ibot or something. Within moments I was surrounded by, what I have now termed, smurfs, as they were all adorned in matching blue t-shirts and all scurried over, milliseconds upon my arrival to see how they could assist me.

I told Papa Smurf, the official looking one at the front of the pack with his headset on, that I was looking for an i- (pause pause pause... while I tried to remember if it was the pod or pad I needed to say) pod touch. He snapped his fingers (or mumbled something into his headset), and the pod smurf quickly emerged from the pack, leading me through the fray.

He started in on the sales pitch, but they all looked the same to me... and let's be honest, a difference of 8Gb vs. 32Gb amounts to a pile a beans to me. I have no idea how big songs, movies, pictures translate to in the Gb world... so I went with the 8Gb, and then just double checked on the return policy so if my resident techie needed 32Gb's I could exchange it.

He left me there amongst the throngs of people playing with all the demo's to grab my ipod, and when he returned I asked if something had recently launched, bringing all the customers in. He replied that it's always like this... people just come in and will stay for hours checking their facebook, playing with the apps, etc... I looked at him a bit incredulous... thinking so this is the 2011 vs. of the roller rink then huh? "Hey mom, can you drop me off at the Apple store, I wanna play Angry Birds with Susie".... Weird.

Then it really got weird.

He took his own Ipod touch off his hip and scanned my ipod... I felt violated.

Me: "What are you doing?"

"Checking you out".... (again violated... ;)... just kidding)

"How?"

Instead of a responding to that answer he asked for my credit card... I stared at him slightly dumbfounded, but a quick glance around the store quickly indicated there was no 'check out counter', so I fished it out of my purse and handed over my card.

Me: "What are you doing?"

"Running your card"

"How?"

Again... Instead of answering he holds his phone up to me and asks me to sign his screen with my fingernail?!? A bit leery that I was giving him full access to my bank account or something, I follow up with, "Does that thing give me a receipt too?"

"Sure does"

"How is this possible? I guess its fairly obvious this is my first time in an Apple store huh?"

He responds with "Welcome to the future"... which felt very appropriate since I certainly felt I'd been through some sort of time warp.

He handed me my receipt, and my newly purchased Ipod... and then gave me a slightly perplexed look.

Smurf: "To activate this product you are going to have to connect it to a computer."

Me: "Yes, I realize I haven't instilled much confidence in you that I'm not gonna run home to milk Besse and churn some butter for the evening meal... but this is for my husband, and he's more than capable at figuring all this out."

The clouds cleared from his face, he smiled, thanked me for coming in, congratulated me on my purchase, and I headed out to my car... somewhat ashamed at how thankful I was to still only have to manage the CD player in my car to listen to my favorite tunes!