Anticipation

There is so much more “About me”, than I could fit into the 1200 character allotment provided by Blogspot, but I figure as I start up this blogging effort, those who choose to follow can learn the rest as I figure it out :). For instance, I neglected to comment on the fact I maintain the maturity of a 5 year old, and resort to countdowns starting months in advance of an event I’m anxiously awaiting. My reference here, is for the countdown I began roughly 5 years ago, that now seems just a stone’s throw away, Kevin’s Graduation!

Now that I’m within reaching distance of the goal line, my entire perspective has become distorted, and it seems as though the last 5 years passed in the blink of an eye, yet the mere 4 months that stretch out before me, an eternity! Why is that? Anticipation. My name is Julie and I am addicted to anticipation. I’m constantly counting SOMETHING down, and if its two far away for me to focus on, I have to put something in between to hold my focus until it gets a little closer (in this case, we’re counting down to Kevin’s Spring Break, the halfway point of the semester).

As I type that paragraph I hear the sage wisdom about ‘wishing your life away’ and ‘patience being a virtue’ replaying in my subconscious. I have to wonder though, as people age we tend to hear them refer to missing that ‘youthful exuberance’ and casting that nostalgic smile as they watch toddlers rip into presents… So if my anticipation manifests itself in ‘youthful exuberance’… am I really wishing my life away, or did I just manage to hold on to some of the better characteristics of childhood?

The cynics to this theory hold firm that I’m merely immature, naïve, or even ignorant. They see the buildup, my anticipation, as merely the prequel to a letdown… The toy will break, the honeymoon will end… To them, I think Conan O’ Brian captured it best in his farewell speech from “The Tonight Show”:

“All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism- it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen”.

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea… which by the way… best realization ever to embrace, and for most, likely only possible post high school/collegiate careers, but I’m quite content with my maturity level in the face of TOTALLY AWESOME events! So to any/all cynics that may stumble across this blog, I ask you politely to respect my point of view, sit on the sidelines reading my updates, and wait for the train wreck that you are certain will be my life… try not to be TOO disappointed when things actually work out :).