The Miracle of Keeping Tiny Humans Alive.... (or Motherhood)

If you haven't read this, you don't know about the little project I'm undertaking through the end of the year.  I'm taking time to remember the miracles that have occurred in my life, to remind myself that God is very much in the details and cares about even the smallest components of our lives.  If in the process I'm able to remind another about the miracles He's accomplished in their life, that's awesome too!  'Tis the season for remembering miracles!  If you wanna catch up: Miracle #1,Miracle #2, Miracle #3, Miracle #4

One of the more shocking miracles of my life, is the fact I'm a Mom.  In truth, that isn't the most shocking part.  The reality that almost 6 years into this gig my kids are alive, seemingly well adjusted, and I haven't been arrested or committed is.  I offer this post up as hope to women out there convinced they don't have a maternal bone in their body.   Me either, but I got 3 kids determined to prove me wrong.

I have no desire to make play-doh, build forts, or play hide and seek for 26 hours a day.  Zero.  I can have a mad dance party, but that's only because those would occur with or without tiny humans present to partake.  In actuality their presence likely keeps the music in a more acceptable genre, because I occasionally imagine myself as a bit of a thug.... so really, who is the parent keeping whom out of trouble?  Exactly.

While talking to a friend who just had her first babe, the topic of a mom's insane protection instinct came up.  She asked if it ever tempered at all.  My response, "Nah, wait till it get's really irrational and you seriously think about kicking a kindergartner in the knees because she cut your three year old off on the play ground, knocking him over."  Apparently God gave me JUST enough maternal instinct to cover my own kids, kindergartners consider yourself warned.

My natural reaction to a mess isn't, 'awwww the kids are being so creative and having fun'....  It is incredibly censored, to the point I've already had to ask God to forgive what I THOUGHT about saying, before a very tight lipped "Please make sure that get's cleaned up when your done." makes it out of my mouth.  Then when, inevitably, it doesn't get cleaned up, I'm literally saying 'be thankful, be thankful' over and over as I pick up blocks, clothes, crumbs, books, cars, etc... for the umpteenth time, as a way to psych my brain out.

When they fall at the playground, I'm the mom that waits to see if tears come before moving.  If they don't, I give 'em a high five and say 'way to stick that landing'.  By the time we FINALLY make it to bed time each day, I'm all but racing to the finish line.  There are no character voices to the books we read, in fact if I can influence the choice at all to be under 8 pages, I consider it a major win.  Most nights my prayers over them include a plea to God to keep them in their beds, while giving them sweet dreams of course, but PLEASE God, keep them in their beds.

But.....  The thing about kids..... its all but impossible to look at them and not marvel at the miracle that they are.  I got to help CREATE that?!?   What the what!?!?   Especially when you get older, and realize all those things you held as inalienable rights, that you would get married, and have kids when YOU wanted, aren't inalienable at all.  It makes it all the more miraculous.

WE are supposed to love THEM unconditionally, but somewhere along my path the World taught me all about conditional love.  Then I had them.  THEY reminded ME, what it looked like.  When I was grumpy or tired, and found myself snapping, they didn't care.  When I was scared at the overwhelming size of the task before me, raising them, they just smiled and laughed.  They wipe the slate clean every single morning, no matter what happened the day before, and let me try again.  They reminded me how to do the same for them.  When they wake me up 5 times a night, puke in my hair, spill grape juice on the carpet, color with marker on the walls, drive me bonkers with antics at the dinner table, or stall for hours at bed.... We can try again together tomorrow.  That is a miracle.  The thing about miracles, they are all unique, like snow flakes.  When and how you find your man, when and if you have kids, the demeanor and needs of those kids, how you parent.   It takes all kinds to make the world go round.  Clearly, as evidenced below.

Nobody's perfect.... There is no perfect mom, and there are no perfect kids, but as my fave Momastery blog reminds me, 'we belong to each other'.... so we keep trying everyday to get a little better.

The Miracle of Healing

If you haven't read this, you don't know about the little project I'm undertaking through the end of the year.  I'm taking time to remember the miracles that have occurred in my life, to remind myself that God is very much in the details and cares about even the smallest components of our lives.  If in the process I'm able to remind another about the miracles He's accomplished in their life, that's awesome too!  'Tis the season for remembering miracles!  If you wanna catch up: Miracle #1,Miracle #2, Miracle #3

If you've never driven across the country with a 3 month old and 2 year old, I don't recommend it.  The drive from Texas to Alexandria took us 27 hours, required 2 nights in a hotel, and about nearly did me in.  Caleb was just beginning to expand his vocabulary and wanted to try out his words the ENTIRE way.  I'd never been so happy to arrive some place in my entire life!  Kevin had made a solo trek out a couple weeks prior with all of our furniture and set up our new place so when we arrived we decided to spend the rest of the day walking through Old Town and exploring our new city!  Thoroughly exhausted from the trip and our adventures of the day we got home and started to get jammies on for our first night in our new apartment.

Caleb 'unpacking' Logan from the big move :)

I can still picture every detail of what happened next.

At 3 months Logan was just kicking his feet in the air as we worked to get Caleb's pajama's on.  Caleb was jabbering away about something when suddenly he just stopped talking, walked across the room, directly into our entertainment center, and then crumpled into a pile on the floor.  I called his name and told him to stop messing around, that we weren't done getting his pajama's on.  He didn't respond.  I walked over to where he was, he was just staring at the ceiling.  I called his name again, and then out of no where his whole tiny two year old body started convulsing and seizing.  I screamed for Kevin who grabbed him and held him, trying to get him to respond, and I started to call 911.  I didn't even know our new address yet when they asked for it, I had to scramble to find our lease with the address on it to make sure I got it right.  The longest 3 minutes of my life later, I could hear the sirens in the distance, and the seizing had stopped but Cub was still laying unresponsive in Kevin's arms.  When the paramedics got into our apartment he was just starting to come to, very disoriented and very groggy.  They loaded him and Kevin into the ambulance, and Logan and I followed them to the hospital.  I've never felt more scared or helpless in my life.

 Enjoying a Popsicle in the ER after about giving his mom and dad a heart-attack!

The diagnosis at that time was the stress of the move, the long road trip and sitting in a car seat for that long, was simply too much and this was his two year old body manifesting that stress to release it.  They didn't expect it to repeat, and after the tests they ran in the ER confirmed that overall he was healthy, they released us.  That week we googled churches in the DC metro area, to see if we could find one to try out that Sunday, and at the top of the list was "DC Metro Church".... We figured we'd give it a shot.  We enjoyed our first Sunday, everyone was friendly, it was close by, seemed like a good fit.

The next Sunday, as we were getting ready for church, the chattering coming from the boys room suddenly went silent and I heard an ominous thud.  I rushed in to see Caleb seizing for the second time in just two weeks now.  Understanding just slightly better what to expect, and not wanting to subject him to another round through the ER after the doctors had told us what to do if it happened again, we rode it out and laid low for the day.  Over the course of those 5 remaining months of 2010 Caleb had a total of 9 seizures.  After the third one, I'd made an appointment with a Pediatric Neurologist to understand what was happening, and Caleb was diagnosed with Epilepsy, which was defined as the occurrence of more than 2 unprovoked seizures.  The Dr. recommended a drug that Cub would need to take daily for a year minimum, and she said a common side effect was that their personality and overall demeanor could change given the drugs direct effect on the brain.  As a mom, it was a treatment plan I just could NOT wrap my brain around.  My child was 2.  I was JUST beginning to meet his sweet little personality as he emerged into toddler-hood, and the thought of changing that with a narcotic left me incredibly uneasy..... but what choices did I have.  I asked if the occurrences of the seizures were damaging to Caleb in anyway, and the Dr. assured me that because of his age all but ensuring an adult would be present or near him at all times and able to respond immediately when one occurred, the actual seizures themselves did not hurt his brain, it was the risk of hurting himself while his body seized that was the bigger concern.  I decided to hold off on the daily drug while I researched alternatives.

As we started the New Year, our new church introduced us to their tradition of starting the year with a 21 day corporate fast.  I'd grown up with lent, so I understood the concept, although I don't think I was ever actually successful in abstaining for the full 40 days from whatever I choose to give up.  This time, the stakes were higher.  I was helpless to end the seizures on my own, and if I was going to ask for something as important as healing my son, I better dang well be ready to not cheat or complain about not having a few of my favorite foods for a couple weeks!  During the 3wk fast, they had a few evenings services of Praise & Worship, and at the last one they asked people to come forward if they were specifically looking for healing.  At that point, I was still not really comfortable with the idea of 'sticking out' in a service.  I much preferred blending in, but Kevin gave me the look this time and told me he was going to get Caleb out of children's ministry.  We brought him to the front, and our lead Pastor and his wife prayed over Caleb and then we went back to our seats.  Another little girl was brought forward by her parents right behind us, right about Caleb's age, but her legs were completely wrapped in braces, and she used a tiny little walker to keep her upright while trying to walk.  At the end of the service our Pastor specifically highlighted Caleb and this little girl one more time for the congregation to pray over, and with that the service and the 21 day fast was over.

Lightning never struck.  I didn't hear an audible voice from heaven that the miraculous had occurred.  What did happen, however, was that as the days of 2011 passed, Caleb made it through the whole year with only TWO seizures, and then 2012, and now 2013 have passed and we have never had to experience another one.  No personality inhibiting narcotics, no invasive surgeries, no days/weeks spent with Dr.'s trying to understand what I never could.  A miracle!  If that wasn't convincing enough, watching that little girl that came up for prayer behind Caleb, and getting to know their family, I learned that shortly after that service THEY were contacted (they didn't make contact, someone reached out to THEM) by a Dr. who had a procedure he thought would work in correcting their daughters legs.  They went through the procedure and now 3 years later, I've seen her walk and run across a room unassisted.  There is still evidence of an ailment in her legs, and its not perfect quite yet, but it is certainly a miracle none-the-less!

The Miracle of Testing Him

If you haven't read this, you don't know about the little project I'm undertaking through the end of the year.  I'm taking time to remember the miracles that have occurred in my life, to remind myself that God is very much in the details and cares about even the smallest components of our lives.  If in the process I'm able to remind another about the miracles He's accomplished in their life, that's awesome too!  'Tis the season for remembering miracles!  If you wanna catch up: Miracle #1, Miracle #2

Hindsight really is 20/20.  As I'm writing about the miracles we've experienced, its hard to see where one stops and the next one starts, as everything is intertwined to achieve an outcome we still cannot see or understand.  Getting hired at Dell and relocating to Austin was just another step.

I grew up Catholic.  We experience life through the lenses we're given, and for a long time my only view of religion was through the lenses of Catholicism.  We didn't have 'relationships' with Jesus, we believed in Him, but we prayed scripted prayers to Mary or the Saints, and sought absolution from Priests, that's just how I understood it.  We didn't need to read our Bibles, because it was read to us and explained to us on Sunday, by someone who dedicated their life to make sense of it, we weren't expected to understand it.  In my adolescent understanding, the church had existed forever, would continue to exist forever (with or without members), and giving was optional depending on if you had some spare change in your pockets or not.  It had always been fun on Sunday's when my mom would hand each of us girls a couple dollars to drop into the offering plate when it went by, I only ever saw the small bills pass as the plate went by and accepted that was what giving to the church looked like.

It would take COUNTLESS teachings before I would ever even begin to question that understanding.  In truth I didn't want to.  I was POOR in college.  My parents helped with half of the overall tuition, but the other half, room/board, books, food, and any other expense were on us.  At the time, when friends were getting it fully funded with access to a bank card that hit their parents account whenever they needed it, I thought I was getting a raw deal.  Now I'm thankful (yes, Mom and Dad, thankful) for the money management skills it taught me.  I didn't have a car, I rode public transit or walked.  I didn't have a cell phone or a computer, I wrote my papers at the computer lab in the library.  I ate pancakes probably 4 days a week because my dad worked for Krustez, and I had coupons for free mix that required me to add water.  My other meals were usually on shift while waitressing at Bennigan's.  I lived in a Frat house (yes, you read that correctly) the last semester I was in college, because the cost of the room for 6 months (all utilities included) was only $800 (10 years ago).  I'll write more about THAT experience some other time!  So when I got hired at Dell, it was all to easy to see that as something I had worked MY butt off for, and the fruit of the spoils were all mine to do with as I pleased.  With our wedding to pay for, Kevin starting school, and buying our first home, there were always plenty of places for the money to go.

Since giving wasn't discussed much, or at least that I remembered while growing up, I took immediate offense the first few times I heard teachings on it.  How dare they, I was always told it was rude to ask people for money.  However, slowly my defenses began to drop, the messages became less offensive and more convicting.  We were FINALLY approaching the end of Kevin's degree.  Had God not brought us to Austin through our relocation for Dell, Kevin never would have been able to attend The University of Texas and gotten his computer science degree from such a highly ranked school in his field.  Our blessings were undeniable, we'd survived a few very tough years of marriage, had Caleb and were pregnant with Logan.... However, Kevin was now experiencing the same drought I had, as he went on interview after interview looking for employment post graduation.

Leading up to the holidays in 2009, our church gave a message based on Malachi 3:10, essentially that we are to bring the whole tithe (our first 10% of our income), and that this one command was the only time in the entire Bible, that God encouraged us to 'test Him'.  I mulled it over for awhile, and decided that my New Years resolution that year would be to test Him.  Kevin needed an offer.  I remembered how depressed I had been walking through so much rejection, and I could see it in him.... what did I have to lose?

When we got back to work after the holidays, I set up my direct deposit on a Monday.  Kevin got a call from Oracle that Wednesday.  He had interviewed with them in OCTOBER.... it was January... and he heard nothing from them until two days after I decide to 'test' God?!?  Dead serious.  I was shocked.  Kevin even mentioned that given this offer would require a cross country move, maybe I should pull the direct deposit so we could save.  I think I told him I didn't want to get struck by lightning, so I wasn't touching one red cent.  After that a couple other offers came in that tempted us to think about staying, we could have made more and lived at a lower cost of living, but we just knew that it was an adventure we had to take.

Since taking the plunge and moving all the way out here, the INSANE cost of living makes it tempting to pull back sometimes, however God continues to prove the exact opposite true.  He's challenged us every year to give even more with miracle offerings as our church continues to grow, and every year we step out in faith He has exceeded our expectations.  When we first moved here the 4 of us crammed into 728sq ft, a year later we doubled that, and just this past summer we increased it again, all without compromising our location too much, and our housing budget hasn't changed either.  Both moves were crazy miracles of their own.... the first move we were picked out of a 20 person lottery to get the house, and this new place was a needle in a haystack Craig's List find with no picture and only two sentences in the ad.  Normally I wouldn't even give a listing like that a second look, but for whatever reason I sent a note, and here we are.
Testing Him with the tithe is a crazy miracle that I can't explain, that I fought for a  REALLY long time, but as I watch it play out year after year now for the past few years in my own life, I can't argue with it anymore.

Do you have a resolution this year???  Give it a shot.... test Him, what miracle are you waiting for? ;)

Logan crawling down the hallway of our first apartment when we moved out here.  The baby actually makes the apartment scale pretty accurate, as you can see roughly 90% of the place right here.  Back bedroom for the boys, our room to his right, the bathroom to his left, and a 10x10 living/dining room just in front of him.... you just got the whole tour!

What happened 24hrs after our move to Alexandria was one of the scariest tests of faith of my life, but also paved the way toward one of the top two miracles I've experienced as well!  More on THAT tomorrow....

My life isn't exactly a major cliff hanger, so I gotta build up suspense where ever I can ;)

The Miracle of Employment!

If you haven't read this, you don't know about the little project I'm undertaking through the end of the year.  I'm taking time to remember the miracles that have occurred in my life, to remind myself that God is very much in the details and cares about even the smallest components of our lives.  If in the process I'm able to remind another about the miracles He's accomplished in their life, that's awesome too!  'Tis the season for remembering miracles!  You can find my first post, entertaining angels, here.

February will mark my ten year anniversary with Dell.  How I got this job is another fun story of God working all things together for my good!

I'd like to say I researched my University of choice for its reputation in the degree program I sought.  HA!  I was ready to par-tay, and Michigan State was just the place for me!  My degree more or less picked me.  Science was ruled out for the simple fact it bored me to TEARS, I didn't have a particular affinity or patience for teaching, and without much creativity, I landed in the Business college.  I tried most of the specialties in the business college: marketing, accounting, and finance before discovering we had this new specialty called supply chain management, which we were apparently #1 in the country for.  I figured being #1 at something sounded good, and declared my major.

Fast forward to my last semester in college.  Kevin and I had been dating for about 2 years at that point and on homecoming weekend he popped the question!  Like any self respecting 21 year old I gawked at the bulging diamond on my left hand and thrust it in the face of all my girlfriends, completely bewildered that I was ENGAGED?!?!  I didn't give one thought to what that tiny little accessory would say to potential employers as I began the long and arduous road of interviews set before me that fall, and because of those strict HR rules, they didn't ask either.

Thirty Eight companies later.  Yes.... 38....  I was completely deflated.  I had interviewed EVERYWHERE.  I'd taken IQ tests for Abercrombie, sat across from a T.V. screen and recorded one for Pepsi, even flew down to Richmond for a second round with Philip Morris.  Every single company turned me down.  I was totally perplexed as my peers with lower GPA's and fewer extra-curriculars continued to get snapped up around me.  Looking for guidance I turned to the career counselors.  His first question was when I got engaged, and then followed up with if I'd been wearing my ring to the interviews.  I told him I had, not thinking anything of it, and in not such an obvious way, he told me to 'stop it'.  Apparently engaged at my age screamed undependable to prospective employers.  I was an investment not worth investing in because at some undisclosed point down the road I would quit to have babies, or relocate on a whim for my husband.  They couldn't ask the questions that would absolve me of those stereotypes so they were opting to play it safe, and I was none the wiser.

I talked with Kevin, and we agreed taking my ring off for the two remaining prospects I had left made sense. The only two interviews I had left were with Frito-Lay and Dell.  Frito-Lay's position was for 2nd shift warehouse manager in Detroit.   Can you guys even imagine that?!?   I was imagining 8mile, at night, in a warehouse, being a little blond haired naive manager, and figuring I'd probably die in my first week or something.  Not trying to be pre-judicial, but it was my 21 year old brain at work.... stereo-types ran rampant for me then.
The only other option was Dell... and after 38 rejections, my confidence for landing a job at the company that I'd spent the better part of the last 2 years studying in case-studies for their infamous supply chain was pretty low.  It didn't help that the second round interview required me to fly to Austin, and the return flight only gave me a 3hr buffer to make it to my graduation ceremonies.  I made it there and back for the interview, and readied myself to wait the 2-3wk window for feedback.

Two weeks passed, no news.  I sent an email to a buddy that had flown down with me, only to learn he had received an offer.  Frito-Lay contacted me, and had chosen another candidate.  I moved home, and went back to work, with my college degree, as a waitress at Bennigan's.  Three weeks passed, no news.  I sent them the obligatory note, thanking them and letting them know I was still interested.  No response.  Four weeks.  Five weeks.  I sent them another semi-polite note at six weeks.  No response.   Then one night, two months after my interview, I was laying in bed and I was pissed.  No responses, I gave them my time, I almost missed my graduation, and to get nothing in return was just rude.  Figuring I'd already lost the job and they were just too inconsiderate to let me know, I figured I'd send one more email.  It went like this:

To Whom it May Concern,

I know I am qualified to do the job you have asked.  Whether or not you want to hire me is up to you.  I would appreciate a response either way.

Sincerely,
Julie Summers

The next morning when I woke up I had the generic response, I'd grown so used to seeing, in my inbox.  They thanked me for my time and would keep my resume' on file for a year.  It didn't really bother me at that point, seeing as it was the response I'd expected, so I went about my day flower girl dress shopping with my little niece.  While at my soon-to-be Mother-in-law's house, I got a phone call.  Dell wanted me.  There had been a mistake in H.R. and my email the night before had alerted the hiring manager to the lapse.  They let me know an offer letter was in the mail, and looked forward to my response.  I think the lady on the phone was questioning their choice as my voice couldn't possibly have climbed another octave higher as I profusely thanked her.

Had I gotten a single offer, no matter HOW sad the prospect was, prior to that moment, I would have taken it out of desperation.  Had I taken my ring off earlier in the process maybe that would have happened.  Had I not sent a middle of the night random email, H.R's lapse might have gone unnoticed indefinitely.  The waiting, the rejections, the ring.... it had all worked together to land me my dream job!  Miracle!

God opened MANY doors for me at Dell, putting me on a project that allowed me to travel to Ireland, Singapore, and Italy.  Enabling me to obtain a patent for my project work, get published in an M.I.T. case study, and present to Micheal Dell himself!

All of this coincidentally laid the very foundation for what I will build upon..... tomorrow :)

Remember Miracles

I could not fall asleep last night.  So I should be more tired now, and napping with the rest of my men, but I'm still wired.  I can no longer blame it on that stinkin cup of coffee I had at 2pm yesterday, which in all actuality I loved and would drink again because it was filled with all sorts of pumpkiny spice goodness! 

No, its not the coffee, its what awoke inside last night after writing about simple miracles that I had taken for granted for to long.  

The moment I hit publish on that blog a torrent of other miracles, that I'd either accepted as luck or saw as a result of my own doing, came flooding back into my memory.  I was dumb struck at how every single area of my life has been touched, in one way or another, by the miraculous.... and then an idea hit me.  

I've always had too many words.  JUST. TO. MANY.  I never knew what to do with them all, so I started a blog about 4 years ago as an outlet for some of them.  I thought about doing the 30 days of Thankfulness last November, and new that for all the words of thanks I wanted to post that Facebook might actually kick me off or something.  So, I turned to my blog as an outlet of unrestricted character limits, not wanting to annoy the masses with a lengthy post after post for 30 days.  Well, I skipped the 30 days of Thankfulness again this year for the same reason, but last night God gave me a new little 'tradition' to start, as we enter the season of miracles.  (People, if you join me in this... for the LOVE.... make it a 'note' or start a blog or something, cause I don't want to read a freaking mile long hash-tagged up wall post either mmmm kay.)

I'd like to be creative and come up with some fun seasonal slant to it, like The Twelve Days of.... and then have 12 perfectly crafted things to write about, but in all seriousness I have words, not craftiness, so I'm not gonna freak myself out with some pre-determined quota.  What I AM gonna do is my little part to remind myself and anyone that chooses to read them WHY we celebrate this season.  I will write about as many of the miracle stories that have happened in my own life, as God reminds me of them.  I will remember the miracle that IS Jesus, that this season is about Him and Him alone, and that He is the author and perfecter of my faith.  Please don't read too much into this, and think I'm swearing off presents, and condemning anyone that shops or all things Santa, I love the magic of this season just like everyone else... this is just a fun way for me to keep first things first.  Also, you should know that EVERY SINGLE TIME that I have promised to write daily, I have failed.  I will write them when I write them.  Maybe there will be 3 in a day, maybe I'll remember writing this on Dec. 26th (not likely) and write them all then, or maybe they'll just come out on the days they are supposed to. 

If you're feeling inspired, spend a moment and think about the miracles that have occurred in your own life.  They are there, simply by the fact I believe we're each a miracle in that God created us.  Corny, sure, but I don't care.  Look for them, give credit where credit is due, and marvel at the fact that God cares enough about your life to give you your very own miracles too!  If you don't have a blog, or don't feel like sharing them in a wide venue, feel free to put them in the comments below, just share them with someone because that is what this season is really about, marveling at God's greatest miracles!  

"For unto us a Child is born, a Son is given; and the government will rest on His shoulder.  And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isa 9:6

Entertaining Angels

In nearly 10 years of marriage, Kevin and I have had another adult living with us for a total of 5 years.  Three different amazing ladies, whom started as relative strangers prior to their extended stays.  I usually catch some strange looks, and often get the question 'how does THAT work' from individuals as it comes up in conversation.  The simple answer, it just does.  However, I know the answer is far more complicated than I will likely EVER understand.  It is being woven together outside of my understanding of time and reason by a God who does immeasurably more than I could ever ask, think, or imagine!

Hebrews 13:2 (msg) says "Be ready with a meal or a bed when it's needed.  Why, some have extended hospitality to angels without even knowing it."  I consider myself lucky, having the opportunity to KNOW that it is, and has been, angels that have occupied my home.

Renee was the first angel we got to entertain for a season.  She moved in after a particularly rough year for Kevin and I, shortly after we had found out we were pregnant with Cub.  The 'original' plan, was for her to stay until the baby was born, about 7 months at the time, and then move out.  She stayed with us until JUST a few days before we moved to Virginia, two and a half years later.  It broke all of our hearts to have to separate.  She was and always will be Aunt NeNe, as she was an ever present light in our life for those first two years of Cub's life, and did more for Kevin and I than she could every possibly know.  

Cub & Aunt NeNe on her Birthday, a couple months before the move in August 2010.

The next series of events, is actually what triggered this blog post in the first place.  I was explaining them all to a girlfriend today, and after she heard them, she exclaimed "You are writing ALL of this down so the boys can see the miracles God has done for you, RIGHT?!?"  Having not done so to-date, I figured I better get right on that!

God's hand was ALL over our move to Alexandria, so much so that I can't even put it all in here cause it would make what's likely already going to be long.... ridiculously long, so we'll stick with the angels.

When moving up here, our plan was for me to be a stay-at-home mom.  God laughed and said, 'your funny, how bout you keep your job so those sweet little boys I gave you can keep their lives, cause y'all will straight up kill each other on your own'.  Well played God.... Smart. (also, that is how God talks to me sometimes.... true story). 

After a tumultuous first year of going through 4 providers in one year, I was EXHAUSTED.  Any mom knows, it is heart wrenching trying to find qualified care to trust your babies with, and I was SERIOUSLY questioning if I was supposed to be doing this?  Why was it THIS hard?!?  I thought I had mixed my signals or something.  I had viewed the fact that my job let me move across the country and work remote as a miracle, and thought I was supposed to keep it because of that.... but this had me seriously questioning things....  THEN, in August of 2011, we met Stephanie our second angel.

 Cub and Ms. Stephanie on his 4th Birthday

Stephanie, had just married Mike, the new youth director at our church, and DC was her first major move away from family in Alabama.  We became fast friends.  Well, I fast friend-ed her, maybe stalked her slightly... She was more shy (everyone is more shy in comparison to me) so maybe she friend-ed me a little slower.  She was a GOD SEND.  She loved the boys.  They loved her.  I got to have one of  my best friends come over and hang out all day every day.  She was there day in and day out of the second hardest year of Kevin and I's marriage, through a roller-coster of emotions, including two miscarriages.  

However, it was our first miscarriage that paved the way for our third angel to enter our lives.  We had moved into a slightly bigger place, that September, to make room for baby, only to discover they could not find a heartbeat at my 12wk sonogram.  That same week interns were moving to DC from all over the country to work at our church, and they needed host homes to live in.  Knowing the program was 9 months long, and it would take me at least that long to need the room again, we opened up our home to what became our next angel, Melanie.  God had a serious purpose for this one though, and we barely saw her, she was at church 24/7..... The program was CALLED 24/7.... I kid you not.

Melanie & Cub just hangin out during her minimal free time.

(I know you're thinking it, but don't say a thing...  The fact Cub is in every pic is not lost on me either.  Mental note firmly written force Logan in more pics and now AJ too!)

Moving on.... things started to get REALLY cray cray.....

On a Sunday after church, Rosah approached me.  At this point, we only knew each other in passing.  Out of the blue, she said she felt God was calling her to help me with my boys in some way and if I ever needed anything to let her know.  I politely thanked her, and let her know we had Stephanie, but would keep her in mind.  Two days later, on one of my crappiest days in recorded history, at 8:00am with tears in her eyes Stephanie showed up to watch the boys and let me know that 10 days from that moment, she and Mike would be moving to Colorado.  Commence massive cry fest.  Seven hours later, at my 12wk sonogram for our second baby bean, they could not locate the heartbeat and we were informed this pregnancy would not progress either.  Numb..... except for a still quiet voice that said 'Rosah'.  Hope.  I called Rosah immediately, and she was available to start the day Mike and Stephanie were moving.  Incredible.

It was August 2012 when Rosah, my 4th angel, came to our rescue.  Rosah lived with Kwanale, another fabulous woman from our church.  The boys quickly fall in love with Rosah, and she them, and I pick up some of my emotional wreckage in the wake of losing one of my best friends out here and lil baby bean on the same day.  

However, as the holidays approached, my newest angel was discovered.  Yes, I realize God doesn't misplace His angels, and so the concept of then having to 'discover' one, does not compute.... but I was a lil perturbed that despite Him telling me in Job 1:21 "The Lord gives, and The Lord takes away", that He was in fact doing just that.  I was havin myself a good 'ol Job moment!  (o.k. exaggerating just a tad there, but close ;))  In all honesty I was excited for Rosah as she was invited to work on staff at the Church, the perfect place for her!

 Rosah, Center stage, leading us in Worship.  Girlfriend's got some serious pipes. 

Things are about to move real fast from this point, I hope you can keep up, cause the end result is nothing short of miraculous!  Key pieces in play as we approach the 2012 holiday season.  Melanie is still occupying our 3rd bedroom.  Rosah who lived with Kwanale has moved out, and now lives with my friend Terri.  Rosah is going on staff at church on Jan. 7th, and will no longer be able to watch the boys.

We interrupt the previously scheduled programming to take a little field trip into the life of a women TOTALLY unbeknownst to us at this time,  Hannah.   Hannah experiences a little Christmas miracle of her own, in the small sleepy town of Pentwater, Michigan.  I should point out, dear reader, this sleepy little town is only a 30min drive from where I spent most of my summers growing up.  God's just funny like that I guess.  What was this Christmas miracle???  A sparkly engagement ring from the love of her life, Tim, who happens to be a Marine stationed in, you guessed it, Washington D.C..   Hannah can't imagine spending the next two years of their long engagement apart from her main man, and sets her sights on finding something a little closer.  She hits up the Internet, and WHAT DOES SHE FIND?!?!  Kwanale's listing for a room available to rent since Rosah had recently moved out.  Hannah jumps at the chance, packs her bags, and moves across the country to start the New Year that much closer to her new Fiance, unsure of what that future might hold for her.

Hannah's first Sunday in Alexandria, January 6th , Kwanale invites her to attend church with her at DC Metro.  Knowing that Hannah is looking for a job, and that Rosah had just left an opening in our home, Kwanale approached me after service and introduced us.  I invited Hannah over for lunch the next day to see if we'd be a 'good fit'.  She stayed the whole afternoon.

Melanie returned from her Christmas break, back home in Minnesota, with news that she had decided to leave the 24/7 program a couple months early, and would be moving back to Minnesota at the end of the month.  A week later, we learned that Kwanale's work Visa was expiring and she would be moving back to South Africa at the end of the month as well..... leaving me with an open room and Hannah with no place to live.  I. MEAN. REALLY?!?

Sooooooooooo........ Hannah moved in, JUST as I passed the 12wk mark with a healthy heartbeat on our NEWEST little bean.  This past year, has been INCREDIBLE.  Well obviously, as this post indicates, the past FEW years have been incredible.  Hannah continues to bless our family beyond measure in every way imaginable, I DO NOT deserve her, but will happily house her forever if she'd let me.  (We've seriously offered to start looking for a place with a sound proof honeymoon suite for when they get married)... you know me... you know I'm not kidding.  

Hannah and the boys before the Marine Corps Ball 

(Finally one WITH Logan and I even had more than one to pic from, apparently Logan just had to get happier in front of the camera, and I'm not a horrible mother for leaving him out.)

I'd like to say writing this will ensure I never question God still.... but I know me, and how easy it is for me to lose sight of the forest for the trees.  Case in point, the fact I  didn't even think to write this post until a year+ after many of the events transpired, and then at the behest of an exasperated friend that is like DO THIS... DO THIS NOW!   It really is awe inspiring, and ridiculously humbling.  You guys know me, I don't deserve this level of detailed care from God who just so happens to be commanding the Universe at the same time.  But, I'd be an idiot not to say Thank you and enjoy it for however long I get to hold these precious gifts and angels in my life, and am thankful for how much richer each one has made my life, my family, and our home!  LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!