I love Modern Family. The fact that on Wednesday night, after 9:30pm, my Facebook status is in someway a nod to the previous half hour, is a testament to that. Last nights show in particular struck a chord, worthy of my status update, in regards to parents faking it.
This is one of those sacred truths, kept by an elite brethren until new members cross over the sacred threshold. At which point, generally, they are so overwhelmed with trial by fire that it is wholly possible to miss this truth all-together. The result... weeks, months, possibly years of stress derived from believing there is one right way to raise your child, and any deviation from that path will undoubtedly result in a derelict to society, the albatross around your neck, or worse.
We've all crossed paths once or twice with a parent that unfortunately missed this sacred truth. In the grocery store, when the woman behind you looks at your toddler with a paci, and NEEDS to tell you the long term ramifications that action alone will plague your child with. The woman on the playground that almost falls off the bench watching you spank your child as punishment for pushing another child over, then proceeds to lecture you on the effects to their self-esteem. Or maybe the situation was reversed and she watches you 'reason' with your 2 year old about the poor choice to push another child over, and waits to lament that parenting style as the breading ground for irresponsible adults. Whatever the case may be, they are out there. Waiting to pounce. Armed with the ONE SINGLE way to raise a well acclimated, respectful, intelligent adult, and certain that you will shower them with adoration and praise after the fact, for enlightening you on the error of your ways.
Knowing this secret can also go a LONG... LONG... (did I mention LONG) way in finally burying any bitterness carried since childhood toward your parents for 'screwing it up'. They didn't know... They did the best that could with what they got (true, not all do, but maybe THEY missed the sacred truth early on, and carried SO much bitterness from their parents it made it virtually impossible for them to care for anybody else but themselves... I'm just saying, its hard to know Everyone's back story). This statement was made a little more clear sometime around last Thanksgiving, when my Dad and I were hashing some things out in a car one day, he said... "ya' know what Jules, you didn't get pregnant (out of wedlock), and you never ended up in jail." At first I thought, for someone that liked to set "the bar high", that statement kinda low balled it... but as I noodled on it some more it did make a certain kind of sense.
There are far... Far... FAR too many details in life to try and control everything in parenting... we've seen the outcome of parents that try... can someone say "Toddlers and Tiara's".... SCARY! Running around judging others strategies, is just as futile, focus on your own, in my experience they provide more than enough to handle. Set the long term goals early on, and for some it may come out as, "let's keep 'em from getting knocked up, and outta jail".... Ya' know what, to do that, you've got to teach your kids about consequences early on, and sometimes that can be the hardest lesson to teach.
To my parents, I say thanks. Thanks for doing the best you could with what you got, in my opinion, in this day and age, ya'll knocked one out of the park with us. My hope is I'm able to fake it long enough to make it, so my boys can someday look back and say the same!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.... For Traditions!
I think overall you can tell a lot about people by their reaction to the holiday season, the holidays just magnify their latent outlook on life. There are the Scrooge's out there, those that complain the entire season about the congestion in stores, horrible drivers, and dare I mention... Christmas music. They grumble and wince at all the perceived 'fake' cheer, and can't comprehend a season of giving to others joyfully. Then we have the middle of the road crew, they can take it or leave it, may sing a song or two, enjoy a party here or there, snag a few gifts and call it a day.
It should come as no surprise to any of you that I fall in the final group... The eternal child on Christmas morning. Those that wish the sentiment of the holidays could carry the whole year through, that don't believe the cheer is fake or forced, that its just been suppressed the whole year through and is bursting at the seams! The group that bides their time until the day after Thanksgiving, maybe cheating a couple times in the weeks before, to crank up the holiday music, scour the world for the perfect gift, bake like there is no tomorrow, and try and dream up new and innovative traditions that can make subsequent years bigger and better!
This fervor has become especially pronounced now that Cub is of the age where he can start comprehending and looking forward to traditions. I want to start those traditions that can carry through the years, that provide teachable moments to them over time about what the TRUE meaning of Christmas is about. Traditions that will draw us closer as a family, and perhaps transcend a generation or two after my boys. The part that makes it tough is adapting traditions to changing circumstances.... For example as has been the case for the past 5 years and likely years to come, the fact that Christmas morning will likely not be in our house... Or the fact that our current residence doesn't support the traditional Christmas decor (aka a tree) There seriously just isn't room, can someone say... "Charlie Brown" tree.
I already bake like a banshee, Cub loves partaking in that.... We do the new jammies on Christmas eve... I'm thinking this year we'll introduce him picking out 4-5 of his toys that he wants to give to others in need, and let him help shop for the angle tree gift.... but I feel like these ones are the old standby's... Come on people... help a sister out, share some great ideas I can snag and call my own :)
For those that may have just puked a little poinsettia all over the place... It's a month, you get the other 11, just let us go crazy for this one!
It should come as no surprise to any of you that I fall in the final group... The eternal child on Christmas morning. Those that wish the sentiment of the holidays could carry the whole year through, that don't believe the cheer is fake or forced, that its just been suppressed the whole year through and is bursting at the seams! The group that bides their time until the day after Thanksgiving, maybe cheating a couple times in the weeks before, to crank up the holiday music, scour the world for the perfect gift, bake like there is no tomorrow, and try and dream up new and innovative traditions that can make subsequent years bigger and better!
This fervor has become especially pronounced now that Cub is of the age where he can start comprehending and looking forward to traditions. I want to start those traditions that can carry through the years, that provide teachable moments to them over time about what the TRUE meaning of Christmas is about. Traditions that will draw us closer as a family, and perhaps transcend a generation or two after my boys. The part that makes it tough is adapting traditions to changing circumstances.... For example as has been the case for the past 5 years and likely years to come, the fact that Christmas morning will likely not be in our house... Or the fact that our current residence doesn't support the traditional Christmas decor (aka a tree) There seriously just isn't room, can someone say... "Charlie Brown" tree.
I already bake like a banshee, Cub loves partaking in that.... We do the new jammies on Christmas eve... I'm thinking this year we'll introduce him picking out 4-5 of his toys that he wants to give to others in need, and let him help shop for the angle tree gift.... but I feel like these ones are the old standby's... Come on people... help a sister out, share some great ideas I can snag and call my own :)
For those that may have just puked a little poinsettia all over the place... It's a month, you get the other 11, just let us go crazy for this one!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
The Road trip from......
D.C. to G.R.... Betcha thought I was gonna say Hell, huh :)
Let's observe a moment of silence at the sheer magnitude of the fact that I drove 11 hours, with no co-pilot, and Caleb (2.5) and Logan (.5) in the back seat... and we actually made it... alive... with the last few shreds of sanity and patience still in tact...
No, seriously... I am NOW observing a moment, actually many... of pure unadulterated silence, to which I am eternally thankful to my in-laws, for making possible!
I also owe a debt of gratitude to Mr. Acura driver who was moving with such speed and agility through the early morning traffic out of Northern Virginia, that band of cars from New Jersey who navigated the Ohio Turnpike with me, and the Beamer that was haulin cookies up 23 and then along 96... Thank you all for letting me draft off of you.... for acting as my sacrificial lamb should we happen upon any law enforcement... To the law enforcement that I did happen to cross paths with along the way: Thank you for either not paying attention, or using your special discernment to realize that an SUV, manned by a single woman, with two car seats in the back needed a special pass.
Also gotta thank the big guy for the beautiful sun rise over the Appalachians as we drove through them, for somehow keeping me alert despite the 5am wake-up call, for getting Logan to sleep for ~6 of the 11 hours, and only scream for 2-3 of them, for keeping Caleb happy for the most part, despite his ONLY sleeping for 45 minutes (ugh!), and for helping me keep my cool. That alone was DEFINITELY an act of divine intervention, as there were certainly a couple times where I opened my mouth, paused for a sec, and took a deep breath instead..... Wooooosaaaaaa.... Gooosefraba.... Ahhhhhh :)
I also was able to stop in Pittsburgh to visit with my Cousins Nick/Sarah and meet their new baby boy Luke, which was a special treat! The only downside of that PITT stop (get it... PITT... Pittsburgh... This is why Kevin and I were made for each other :)
I digress... I do that a lot in my blogs... oh well... the downside...
Has anyone else realized there is a MAJOR difference between "Shortest" and "Fastest" navigation routes when selecting one of those as the option for your vehicles navigation system to follow?!?
I didn't. Not until I'd gone ~45 minutes through the streets of downtown Pittsburgh, past the Mall, down Main street, through a neighborhood... I'm not kidding... Thinking after each turn I was gonna see the on-ramp to my beloved Inter-State. After literally screaming in exasperation in my car, which made Caleb think I was mad at him (which made me feel AWFUL), then having to explain mommy was just mad at her car, to which we both had to roll down our windows and give the car a spanking. (Judge if you will, to each their own) I finally pulled over to see JUST what my navigation was doing. That's when it hit me... "Shortest" was doing everything in its power to reduce the actual number of MILES I was going to take to get to my destination, and it was doing so at an EXCRUCIATINGLY MIND NUMBING pace... I went over SPEED bumps at one point... I mean REALLY people! I reset the navigation to "Fastest" and we were on an Inter-state in less than 5 minutes.... Stupid car (I do realize the car was just doing what I told it to do... we'll leave that for another day though)!
BUT.... We did make it safe and sound, and now I am thoroughly enjoying the fruits of my labor, still in peace and quiet, thinking maybe just maybe I'll get crazy and watch a movie... From beginning to end, in one sitting, during the middle of the morning... UNHEARD OF...WAHOOO!!!
Let's observe a moment of silence at the sheer magnitude of the fact that I drove 11 hours, with no co-pilot, and Caleb (2.5) and Logan (.5) in the back seat... and we actually made it... alive... with the last few shreds of sanity and patience still in tact...
No, seriously... I am NOW observing a moment, actually many... of pure unadulterated silence, to which I am eternally thankful to my in-laws, for making possible!
I also owe a debt of gratitude to Mr. Acura driver who was moving with such speed and agility through the early morning traffic out of Northern Virginia, that band of cars from New Jersey who navigated the Ohio Turnpike with me, and the Beamer that was haulin cookies up 23 and then along 96... Thank you all for letting me draft off of you.... for acting as my sacrificial lamb should we happen upon any law enforcement... To the law enforcement that I did happen to cross paths with along the way: Thank you for either not paying attention, or using your special discernment to realize that an SUV, manned by a single woman, with two car seats in the back needed a special pass.
Also gotta thank the big guy for the beautiful sun rise over the Appalachians as we drove through them, for somehow keeping me alert despite the 5am wake-up call, for getting Logan to sleep for ~6 of the 11 hours, and only scream for 2-3 of them, for keeping Caleb happy for the most part, despite his ONLY sleeping for 45 minutes (ugh!), and for helping me keep my cool. That alone was DEFINITELY an act of divine intervention, as there were certainly a couple times where I opened my mouth, paused for a sec, and took a deep breath instead..... Wooooosaaaaaa.... Gooosefraba.... Ahhhhhh :)
I also was able to stop in Pittsburgh to visit with my Cousins Nick/Sarah and meet their new baby boy Luke, which was a special treat! The only downside of that PITT stop (get it... PITT... Pittsburgh... This is why Kevin and I were made for each other :)
I digress... I do that a lot in my blogs... oh well... the downside...
Has anyone else realized there is a MAJOR difference between "Shortest" and "Fastest" navigation routes when selecting one of those as the option for your vehicles navigation system to follow?!?
I didn't. Not until I'd gone ~45 minutes through the streets of downtown Pittsburgh, past the Mall, down Main street, through a neighborhood... I'm not kidding... Thinking after each turn I was gonna see the on-ramp to my beloved Inter-State. After literally screaming in exasperation in my car, which made Caleb think I was mad at him (which made me feel AWFUL), then having to explain mommy was just mad at her car, to which we both had to roll down our windows and give the car a spanking. (Judge if you will, to each their own) I finally pulled over to see JUST what my navigation was doing. That's when it hit me... "Shortest" was doing everything in its power to reduce the actual number of MILES I was going to take to get to my destination, and it was doing so at an EXCRUCIATINGLY MIND NUMBING pace... I went over SPEED bumps at one point... I mean REALLY people! I reset the navigation to "Fastest" and we were on an Inter-state in less than 5 minutes.... Stupid car (I do realize the car was just doing what I told it to do... we'll leave that for another day though)!
BUT.... We did make it safe and sound, and now I am thoroughly enjoying the fruits of my labor, still in peace and quiet, thinking maybe just maybe I'll get crazy and watch a movie... From beginning to end, in one sitting, during the middle of the morning... UNHEARD OF...WAHOOO!!!
Friday, November 19, 2010
So Much to be Thankful For
On the eve of heading home for my first Thanksgiving with family in 7 years, I figured it was time to reflect on all of the things I am thankful for in my life... and people... the list is extensive...
In no particular order... I am Thankful for:
The love of my life and my best friend, no matter how corny or cheesy it sounds I am the woman I am today because of this man and I love him to the ends of the earth and back... For better or worse, until death do us part (which I've already warned him needs to occur 'Notebook' style, together, both old in age, still madly in love having lived an amazing life).
Two beautiful blessings from God, that remind me what unconditional love is supposed to look like, crack me up, stretch me to grow in ways I didn't think possible (and if I'm honest, some days don't really want to), and who every day hold my heart in their tiny little hands. I love them more than I ever thought possible, and am amazed that love continues to grow exponentially.
A faith that allows me to see the beauty and hope in the world, despite the 'worlds' best effort to convince me otherwise. A faith that makes the blessings in my life SO evident, and allows me to keep perspective, even when situations around me spin out of control.
The opportunities to travel, live in unique cities around the U.S., and meet amazing friends all along the way. Friends that bring joy to my life, make me smile on a daily basis, and feel loved, feel a part of something bigger, and continue to look forward to the times I will get to see them again.
Our families... who know us inside and out and love us anyway (most of the time ;) For the support they have given and continue to give throughout our lives... for pushing us to be independent and successful (even before we knew that was what they were pushing us toward). For being open to evolve and grow together as we navigate different seasons of our lives, and the challenges along the way. For teaching the important lesson, that its o.k. to make mistakes, not just o.k., inevitable... just learn from them and when you can, say your sorry... but also for understanding that "sorry" is sometimes the absolute hardest word to say, and forgiving anyway.
My job, and the opportunity it has given me to be here with my boys, not having to miss the major milestones, getting to partake in the mid-afternoon tickle war, being present to kiss the boo-boo and make it all better, and being able to 'snuggle just for one second', thirteen times through out a day... And I'm Thankful for Tonya (nanny) for being a wonderful addition to our crazy family living in a shoebox, for the joy she brings Caleb (and Logan)... that I get to hear via squeals of delight throughout my day, and for Kevin's HARD work paying off, his degree, and new job with Oracle giving us the opportunity to check out yet another cool place.
Health. The collective 'we' haven't been impervious to unique health battles, but for the most part me and the many people I love have either been healthy or fought tooth and nail to retain/regain their health... and I am thankful everyday for the successes I've been able to witness, and pray daily they continue and that sickness would pass over those I love.
For so many small luxuries, I normally don't even give a second thought to....
Facebook, keeping me connected to my small 'world'
Great churches, helping us build new community, when we're still missing the ones we've left.
Peace and Quiet after 8pm (normally)
A full night sleep
Chocolate Milk and Eggnog Latte's
Seasons... especially the Fall... oh how I've missed you!
Music.... for there always being a song to suit the mood I'm in
Hulu... ensuring I never miss an episode of one of my Fave's
Yoga pants, man those babies are comfy
Hair Day (ladies, you know what I'm talking about)
.... and so many more
Happy Early Thanksgiving Everyone!!! It's amazing when you start listing them out just how much there is... I know it everyday, but it still blows me away to see it written down! I think I'll have to listen to Ben Harper's song first thing when I get in the car to head to Michigan tomorrow... "I've been Blessed" :) See some of ya'll soon!
In no particular order... I am Thankful for:
The love of my life and my best friend, no matter how corny or cheesy it sounds I am the woman I am today because of this man and I love him to the ends of the earth and back... For better or worse, until death do us part (which I've already warned him needs to occur 'Notebook' style, together, both old in age, still madly in love having lived an amazing life).
Two beautiful blessings from God, that remind me what unconditional love is supposed to look like, crack me up, stretch me to grow in ways I didn't think possible (and if I'm honest, some days don't really want to), and who every day hold my heart in their tiny little hands. I love them more than I ever thought possible, and am amazed that love continues to grow exponentially.
A faith that allows me to see the beauty and hope in the world, despite the 'worlds' best effort to convince me otherwise. A faith that makes the blessings in my life SO evident, and allows me to keep perspective, even when situations around me spin out of control.
The opportunities to travel, live in unique cities around the U.S., and meet amazing friends all along the way. Friends that bring joy to my life, make me smile on a daily basis, and feel loved, feel a part of something bigger, and continue to look forward to the times I will get to see them again.
Our families... who know us inside and out and love us anyway (most of the time ;) For the support they have given and continue to give throughout our lives... for pushing us to be independent and successful (even before we knew that was what they were pushing us toward). For being open to evolve and grow together as we navigate different seasons of our lives, and the challenges along the way. For teaching the important lesson, that its o.k. to make mistakes, not just o.k., inevitable... just learn from them and when you can, say your sorry... but also for understanding that "sorry" is sometimes the absolute hardest word to say, and forgiving anyway.
My job, and the opportunity it has given me to be here with my boys, not having to miss the major milestones, getting to partake in the mid-afternoon tickle war, being present to kiss the boo-boo and make it all better, and being able to 'snuggle just for one second', thirteen times through out a day... And I'm Thankful for Tonya (nanny) for being a wonderful addition to our crazy family living in a shoebox, for the joy she brings Caleb (and Logan)... that I get to hear via squeals of delight throughout my day, and for Kevin's HARD work paying off, his degree, and new job with Oracle giving us the opportunity to check out yet another cool place.
Health. The collective 'we' haven't been impervious to unique health battles, but for the most part me and the many people I love have either been healthy or fought tooth and nail to retain/regain their health... and I am thankful everyday for the successes I've been able to witness, and pray daily they continue and that sickness would pass over those I love.
For so many small luxuries, I normally don't even give a second thought to....
Facebook, keeping me connected to my small 'world'
Great churches, helping us build new community, when we're still missing the ones we've left.
Peace and Quiet after 8pm (normally)
A full night sleep
Chocolate Milk and Eggnog Latte's
Seasons... especially the Fall... oh how I've missed you!
Music.... for there always being a song to suit the mood I'm in
Hulu... ensuring I never miss an episode of one of my Fave's
Yoga pants, man those babies are comfy
Hair Day (ladies, you know what I'm talking about)
.... and so many more
Happy Early Thanksgiving Everyone!!! It's amazing when you start listing them out just how much there is... I know it everyday, but it still blows me away to see it written down! I think I'll have to listen to Ben Harper's song first thing when I get in the car to head to Michigan tomorrow... "I've been Blessed" :) See some of ya'll soon!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Always a Martha never a Mary
I told Kevin I was gonna make another blog post. First three things out of his mouth in perfect succession: "Is it gonna be about how funny I am?", "Is it gonna be about how good I look naked?", "Is it gonna be about how amazing I am?"... When I told him I was actually planning to blog about the personality test we took the day before, intended to help us discover what our 'spiritual gifts' were... he started rambling incoherently... poor guy, must be hard to suffer from such low self esteem ;)
The diversion above was too funny for me not to include... just a little glimpse into the daily banter I get to exchange with my funny/amazing husband... we'll leave the other description alone... Back to my original intent behind this blog....
The segway above, pretty much encapsulates why I wanted to take the class our church offered on discovering your spiritual gifts... Because I'm about as reverent as a rock. It's true.
The personality test we took in preparation for the spiritual assessment was called the DISC test, (Drive, Influence, Steadiness, Compliance). My dominant personality was an 'Influencer' with my secondary being 'Drive'. Check out the below description (copy/paste from website), its SCARY how close they pegged me.
(forgive my little sidebar's)
General Characteristics:
Enthusiastic. Trusting; Optimistic. Persuasive; Talkative (ya' think). Impulsive; Emotional
Value to Team:
Creative problem solver. Great encourager. Motivates others to achieve. Positive sense of humor. Negotiates conflicts; peace maker. (Love the warm fuzzies)
Possible Weaknesses:
More concerned with popularity than tangible results (ouch... the truth hurts). Inattentive to detail. Overuses gestures and facial expressions (ha ha ha, this one made me seriously laugh out loud... I'm pretty sure my nearest and dearest WROTE this portion). Tends to listen only when it's convenient (ugh! guilty as charged... again).
Greatest Fear:
Rejection. (BINGO... although the dark... bugs... and those closest to me getting sick/dying are quite high on the list as well)
Our spiritual assessment was next. I was really pulling for the cool ones, you know, Miracles/Prophecy... God knew me better than that... I guess that's only logical though.
The spiritual gifts ranking highest for me: (copy/paste from website)
Hospitality: the gift that causes a believer to joyfully welcome and receive guests and those in need of food and lodging. Biblical References: Romans 12:13, Romans 16:23a, Luke 10:38.
Administration: the gift that enables a believer to formulate, direct, and carry out plans necessary to fulfill a purpose. Biblical References: I Corinthians 12:28, Acts 14:23.
In other words I'm Martha. Girl can throw a great party, but sometimes misses the point of the gathering entirely.
I think deep down I always knew this, but I kinda was hoping I'd find something different when I did it again, cause when I think of Martha I think of Jesus scolding her and telling her she should be more like Mary... can someone say serious middle child insecurities. I feel like Jan on the Brady Bunch... "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia"... except for other than high school years I don't really harbor any jealousy towards either of my sisters, we are each so incredibly different, but seem to be managing just fine in our personal differences. The jealousy seems to be toward the Mary's of the world... (If I've lost you through all of this you can read Luke 10: 38-42... I had to Google the story to find it in the bible... Bet ya' Mary wouldn't have had to google it... ;))
There were a few others out of the ~25 different gifts they had listed that I ranked high on, which gave me some solace, and the fact that they pegged my dead last ringers correctly (Leading any sort of song/praise/worship and speaking in tongues... dead last... Yep!) Needless to say it was an interesting morning, seeing yourself essentially spelled out in black and white is a rather eye opening experience. However one of the best qualities I've found at this church yet, is their capacity for getting people involved in what they were naturally suited for. Now that they have my number (literally and figuratively), I'm looking forward to seeing how the traits I never really saw before as 'spiritual' gifts, can be put to use in a spiritual way, and hoping along the way I can give up on my 'weaknesses' of doing these things for the recognition, and rather do them knowing it was what I was put here to do.
The diversion above was too funny for me not to include... just a little glimpse into the daily banter I get to exchange with my funny/amazing husband... we'll leave the other description alone... Back to my original intent behind this blog....
The segway above, pretty much encapsulates why I wanted to take the class our church offered on discovering your spiritual gifts... Because I'm about as reverent as a rock. It's true.
The personality test we took in preparation for the spiritual assessment was called the DISC test, (Drive, Influence, Steadiness, Compliance). My dominant personality was an 'Influencer' with my secondary being 'Drive'. Check out the below description (copy/paste from website), its SCARY how close they pegged me.
(forgive my little sidebar's)
General Characteristics:
Enthusiastic. Trusting; Optimistic. Persuasive; Talkative (ya' think). Impulsive; Emotional
Value to Team:
Creative problem solver. Great encourager. Motivates others to achieve. Positive sense of humor. Negotiates conflicts; peace maker. (Love the warm fuzzies)
Possible Weaknesses:
More concerned with popularity than tangible results (ouch... the truth hurts). Inattentive to detail. Overuses gestures and facial expressions (ha ha ha, this one made me seriously laugh out loud... I'm pretty sure my nearest and dearest WROTE this portion). Tends to listen only when it's convenient (ugh! guilty as charged... again).
Greatest Fear:
Rejection. (BINGO... although the dark... bugs... and those closest to me getting sick/dying are quite high on the list as well)
Our spiritual assessment was next. I was really pulling for the cool ones, you know, Miracles/Prophecy... God knew me better than that... I guess that's only logical though.
The spiritual gifts ranking highest for me: (copy/paste from website)
Hospitality: the gift that causes a believer to joyfully welcome and receive guests and those in need of food and lodging. Biblical References: Romans 12:13, Romans 16:23a, Luke 10:38.
Administration: the gift that enables a believer to formulate, direct, and carry out plans necessary to fulfill a purpose. Biblical References: I Corinthians 12:28, Acts 14:23.
In other words I'm Martha. Girl can throw a great party, but sometimes misses the point of the gathering entirely.
I think deep down I always knew this, but I kinda was hoping I'd find something different when I did it again, cause when I think of Martha I think of Jesus scolding her and telling her she should be more like Mary... can someone say serious middle child insecurities. I feel like Jan on the Brady Bunch... "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia"... except for other than high school years I don't really harbor any jealousy towards either of my sisters, we are each so incredibly different, but seem to be managing just fine in our personal differences. The jealousy seems to be toward the Mary's of the world... (If I've lost you through all of this you can read Luke 10: 38-42... I had to Google the story to find it in the bible... Bet ya' Mary wouldn't have had to google it... ;))
There were a few others out of the ~25 different gifts they had listed that I ranked high on, which gave me some solace, and the fact that they pegged my dead last ringers correctly (Leading any sort of song/praise/worship and speaking in tongues... dead last... Yep!) Needless to say it was an interesting morning, seeing yourself essentially spelled out in black and white is a rather eye opening experience. However one of the best qualities I've found at this church yet, is their capacity for getting people involved in what they were naturally suited for. Now that they have my number (literally and figuratively), I'm looking forward to seeing how the traits I never really saw before as 'spiritual' gifts, can be put to use in a spiritual way, and hoping along the way I can give up on my 'weaknesses' of doing these things for the recognition, and rather do them knowing it was what I was put here to do.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Move over Julia Childs
I've been on a bit of a cooking kick lately....I saw the movie "Julie and Julia", about the girl that cooked her way through Julia Childs cookbook and blogged about her experience... In my opinion the movie was a flop, but I do have a better appreciation for the plot now, as I've found my own muse and am cooking my way through a different set of recipes!
I blame it on my new found obsession "Pioneer Woman". I'm obsessed... and awe inspired. This woman, Ree, does everything I want to do and gets paid for it... She writes this awesome blog, takes amazing pictures, home schools her 4 kids, and makes amazing food... and then BLOGS more about all of that! Google her, then read her blog... I recommend starting with her "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels" saga, but only if you have basically a full day to dedicate to it, cause its on par with any of the good fiction books I've read recently.
From her website, in the past month, I've made Tequila Lime Chicken, Tres Leches Cake, Jalapeno Jack Stuffed Hamburgers, Parmesan Garlic crusted green beans, a Gravy Burger, Broccoli Cheese Soup, Chipotle Chile, Chipotle Corn Chowder, and have all the ingredients to make her Pomegranate Seared Ahi Tuna Steaks for dinner later this week! Every single recipe thus far has been AMAZING.... This may be the one obsession Kevin doesn't give me ANY crap over... considering he continuously laments basically any T.V. show I like, rips Twilight up one side and down the other... the list could go on... but "Pioneer Woman"... I don't get a peep about.
It hasn't hurt that this is my first 'Autumn' in 7 years, and I forgot how much fun it is to have amazing scents flowing through your house when it's chilly outside, the house is all closed up and smells just emanating from the kitchen. My house may look like a tornado went through it, but with the lights off now, the kids quiet in bed, and the remnants of sweet savory chocolate chip cookies only an hour or so removed from the oven... it smells DIVINE!
The way I look at it, with all the baking I like to do in preparation for the holidays, and then the BORING hum/drum months of Jan/Feb/March on its heals, there's a very good chance I'll emerge from my first winter back in the 'north' with a much better repertoire of recipes at my disposal, and can hopefully avoid getting stuck in my previous regular rut... of "what's for dinner".... Here's hoping!
I blame it on my new found obsession "Pioneer Woman". I'm obsessed... and awe inspired. This woman, Ree, does everything I want to do and gets paid for it... She writes this awesome blog, takes amazing pictures, home schools her 4 kids, and makes amazing food... and then BLOGS more about all of that! Google her, then read her blog... I recommend starting with her "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels" saga, but only if you have basically a full day to dedicate to it, cause its on par with any of the good fiction books I've read recently.
From her website, in the past month, I've made Tequila Lime Chicken, Tres Leches Cake, Jalapeno Jack Stuffed Hamburgers, Parmesan Garlic crusted green beans, a Gravy Burger, Broccoli Cheese Soup, Chipotle Chile, Chipotle Corn Chowder, and have all the ingredients to make her Pomegranate Seared Ahi Tuna Steaks for dinner later this week! Every single recipe thus far has been AMAZING.... This may be the one obsession Kevin doesn't give me ANY crap over... considering he continuously laments basically any T.V. show I like, rips Twilight up one side and down the other... the list could go on... but "Pioneer Woman"... I don't get a peep about.
It hasn't hurt that this is my first 'Autumn' in 7 years, and I forgot how much fun it is to have amazing scents flowing through your house when it's chilly outside, the house is all closed up and smells just emanating from the kitchen. My house may look like a tornado went through it, but with the lights off now, the kids quiet in bed, and the remnants of sweet savory chocolate chip cookies only an hour or so removed from the oven... it smells DIVINE!
The way I look at it, with all the baking I like to do in preparation for the holidays, and then the BORING hum/drum months of Jan/Feb/March on its heals, there's a very good chance I'll emerge from my first winter back in the 'north' with a much better repertoire of recipes at my disposal, and can hopefully avoid getting stuck in my previous regular rut... of "what's for dinner".... Here's hoping!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Truth about 768 Square Feet
They say "everything is bigger in Texas".... Well, 'they' weren't kidding! When we bought our home in Texas I was shocked at what I would be able to call home! I'm not kidding, at 22 I found myself on my new back patio staring at my new lawn thinking... in this exact vernacular, "Omigosh, Oh MY GOSH, seriously... I'm not supposed to have a house like this... my parents have a house like this... PARENTS!"
Over the course of 5 years, we grew quite comfortably in that house, welcoming Caleb and then Logan, spreading out... a place for everything and everything in its place. We were the epitome of suburbia... living in a neighborhood that had a name plate out front... neighborhood pools, block parties, and SUV's... the whole shabang.
When looking for housing in the DC area we decided early on that we'd sacrifice square footage for location, desiring to be closer to the action and knowing we'd only be out a year lease if we hated it. Our house hunting trip confirmed location would require just that... SACRIFICE... or so I thought.
I cringed internally and externally when we agreed the condo in Belle Haven, coming in at 768 square feet, just about 1/3 of the size we'd grown accustomed to, was our new home to be... So much so that when people asked about the size.... "It's a little under 1000 square feet" I would say... let their imagination come up with just HOW far under.
Well, now 7 weeks into our adventure, below are the list of Pro's and Con's of being "The woman who lived in a Shoe... box"
Pro: At any point in time I can hear every member of my family
Con: At any point in time I can hear every member of my family
Pro: I can clean my entire house in about an hour
Con: A tornado (AKA a 2 year old) can destroy it in 5 minutes
Pro: We cleaned house literally/figuratively shedding the unnecessary and raking in some dough at our garage trail.
Con: In 768 sq feet, even the 'necessary' is TOO much stuff!
Pro: Our King Size Bed/Frame FIT!!! Hip Hip Hooray
Con: Our bed room doubles as my 'home office'
Pro: That King Size bed makes for a VERY comfortable 'cube' some days!
Pro: There is only one bathroom to clean... and I HATE cleaning bathrooms
Con: There is only one bathroom
Pro: No stairs with which to worry about as Logan learns how to crawl
Con: Boys sharing a room = difficulty in working the 'cry it out' method to get Logan sleeping through the night. **Solution** Logan's now in a pack n' play in the kitchen at night :)
I'm sure I'll discover many more as the weeks turn into months, but thus far the sacrifice for location was definitely the way to go! The neighborhood is FANTASTIC, with so much right outside our door who would ever want to stay inside!
Over the course of 5 years, we grew quite comfortably in that house, welcoming Caleb and then Logan, spreading out... a place for everything and everything in its place. We were the epitome of suburbia... living in a neighborhood that had a name plate out front... neighborhood pools, block parties, and SUV's... the whole shabang.
When looking for housing in the DC area we decided early on that we'd sacrifice square footage for location, desiring to be closer to the action and knowing we'd only be out a year lease if we hated it. Our house hunting trip confirmed location would require just that... SACRIFICE... or so I thought.
I cringed internally and externally when we agreed the condo in Belle Haven, coming in at 768 square feet, just about 1/3 of the size we'd grown accustomed to, was our new home to be... So much so that when people asked about the size.... "It's a little under 1000 square feet" I would say... let their imagination come up with just HOW far under.
Well, now 7 weeks into our adventure, below are the list of Pro's and Con's of being "The woman who lived in a Shoe... box"
Pro: At any point in time I can hear every member of my family
Con: At any point in time I can hear every member of my family
Pro: I can clean my entire house in about an hour
Con: A tornado (AKA a 2 year old) can destroy it in 5 minutes
Pro: We cleaned house literally/figuratively shedding the unnecessary and raking in some dough at our garage trail.
Con: In 768 sq feet, even the 'necessary' is TOO much stuff!
Pro: Our King Size Bed/Frame FIT!!! Hip Hip Hooray
Con: Our bed room doubles as my 'home office'
Pro: That King Size bed makes for a VERY comfortable 'cube' some days!
Pro: There is only one bathroom to clean... and I HATE cleaning bathrooms
Con: There is only one bathroom
Pro: No stairs with which to worry about as Logan learns how to crawl
Con: Boys sharing a room = difficulty in working the 'cry it out' method to get Logan sleeping through the night. **Solution** Logan's now in a pack n' play in the kitchen at night :)
I'm sure I'll discover many more as the weeks turn into months, but thus far the sacrifice for location was definitely the way to go! The neighborhood is FANTASTIC, with so much right outside our door who would ever want to stay inside!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Big City Parking... Not for the faint of heart!
I've always loved the Jeff Foxworthy's comments about "You know you've lived in Michigan when...."
- When you don't think twice about pointing to a place on your hand when explaining where you grew up, went to school, currently reside, etc..
- When you install security lights on your home and garage, and proceed to leave both unlocked.
- When you know people that have hit more than one deer with their car, in one season.
These comments and more, have always made me laugh because they ring true... I still point to my hand when explaining where I grew up. However having moved to Texas, and subsequently to the burbs of Washington D.C, I have a new found appreciation for the oddities locals consider commonplace.
For example....
"If you've ever gotten truly LOST in a parking garage, you might live near Washington D.C."
I have a new found... and very PROFOUND, respect for this adage. Yes, I made it up... I'm thinking about sending it to Jeff Foxworthy for any future comedy tours he may make! Either that or penning a manuscript and sending it to the writers for LOST to see if they have any interest in a new pilot T.V. show...
We've lived here for just about 6 weeks now, and this past Thursday was my first weekday, peak hour, adventure out of the house for a lunch meeting with a few local Dell employees that also work remote in the region. I was excited. I was looking cute, and made sure I left myself enough time (or so I thought) to make it to the restaurant. Upon making it downtown, I quickly realized the magnitude of the blessing it is to work from home... Every parking meter for 2 miles was occupied, and in my quest to look cute, the heels I was wearing didn't feel up to a hike! I rolled my eyes and decided I would pay the high cost of the parking garage for the 'simplicity & proximity' to my destination.
I have never been more wrong in my life!
I got my ticket and rolled into the garage... made the first turn, and the garage extended as far as the eye could see. I went a few rows down and made a turn, after all I wanted to stay close to the entrance so I could get back to the restaurant.
No spots.... another turn... no spots... 5 more turns... still no spots...
I see someone walking to their car... roll my window down, "Are you close?"... "yes just one row over" was their replay, I look around... all ONEWAY's, think briefly about ignoring the sign, until a car comes speeding out of nowhere, and I realize I will likely cause an accident by doing so.
After a few more turns I find my spot, park, and scurry off to lunch, not really giving it much of a second thought. I know now, that I should have been dropping bread crumbs the entire way!
I make it back to the car and begin making turns to follow the exit signs... Little did I know there were 3 different types of exits: Owners exits (for those who have purchased spots), Permit exits for govt. employees, and the Public exit where you can pay for your ticket and leave. I came upon my first exit, and had to annoy the two cars behind me forcing everyone to back up and let me turn around as I didn't have a permit and the barricade would not lift for me.
- When you don't think twice about pointing to a place on your hand when explaining where you grew up, went to school, currently reside, etc..
- When you install security lights on your home and garage, and proceed to leave both unlocked.
- When you know people that have hit more than one deer with their car, in one season.
These comments and more, have always made me laugh because they ring true... I still point to my hand when explaining where I grew up. However having moved to Texas, and subsequently to the burbs of Washington D.C, I have a new found appreciation for the oddities locals consider commonplace.
For example....
"If you've ever gotten truly LOST in a parking garage, you might live near Washington D.C."
I have a new found... and very PROFOUND, respect for this adage. Yes, I made it up... I'm thinking about sending it to Jeff Foxworthy for any future comedy tours he may make! Either that or penning a manuscript and sending it to the writers for LOST to see if they have any interest in a new pilot T.V. show...
We've lived here for just about 6 weeks now, and this past Thursday was my first weekday, peak hour, adventure out of the house for a lunch meeting with a few local Dell employees that also work remote in the region. I was excited. I was looking cute, and made sure I left myself enough time (or so I thought) to make it to the restaurant. Upon making it downtown, I quickly realized the magnitude of the blessing it is to work from home... Every parking meter for 2 miles was occupied, and in my quest to look cute, the heels I was wearing didn't feel up to a hike! I rolled my eyes and decided I would pay the high cost of the parking garage for the 'simplicity & proximity' to my destination.
I have never been more wrong in my life!
I got my ticket and rolled into the garage... made the first turn, and the garage extended as far as the eye could see. I went a few rows down and made a turn, after all I wanted to stay close to the entrance so I could get back to the restaurant.
No spots.... another turn... no spots... 5 more turns... still no spots...
I see someone walking to their car... roll my window down, "Are you close?"... "yes just one row over" was their replay, I look around... all ONEWAY's, think briefly about ignoring the sign, until a car comes speeding out of nowhere, and I realize I will likely cause an accident by doing so.
After a few more turns I find my spot, park, and scurry off to lunch, not really giving it much of a second thought. I know now, that I should have been dropping bread crumbs the entire way!
I make it back to the car and begin making turns to follow the exit signs... Little did I know there were 3 different types of exits: Owners exits (for those who have purchased spots), Permit exits for govt. employees, and the Public exit where you can pay for your ticket and leave. I came upon my first exit, and had to annoy the two cars behind me forcing everyone to back up and let me turn around as I didn't have a permit and the barricade would not lift for me.
20 minutes later, I am still stuck in this parking garage.
Up until that point I had never considered myself a claustrophobic, however sitting in my Cx7 with the roof of the garage mere inches above my car, and cement pylons all around me, and I've neglected to mention up until this point, that the garage is UNDERGROUND... yeah my anxiety levels started rising quickly. It didn't help matters that other cars seemed to zip to/fro and my first attempt at trying to follow one of these 'veterans' of the underground maze only resulted in my delving further into the belly of the beast, which I didn't realize until they nestled their vehicle into their designated parking space and went blithely on their way.
The anxiety ratcheted up about 10 notches when I thought about calling Kevin, just for moral support, and realized the thousands of tons of cement around me would prevent any attempt to contact the outside world... This was about the time I put my car in park in the middle of the garage and started freaking out for a bit.
I pulled myself together and vowed to find ANY exit by following the signs, and if it happened to be a permit or owner exit, well I would wait for someone to leave, explain my plight, and plead if necessary for them to help me exit. Luckily I stumbled upon the correct exit about 10 minutes later, and began talking to the parking attendant as if she was the first person I'd seen in days! She politely explained that it was not an uncommon experience as this particular garage I had chosen was 3 stories under ground and spanned 4 city blocks. FOUR CITY BLOCKS!!!
I've made a mental note, NEVER to return to that garage for ANY reason, and am now even more thankful to be sitting comfortably at my 'home' office enjoying my lunch anxiety free in my yoga pants and a comfy tee!
Up until that point I had never considered myself a claustrophobic, however sitting in my Cx7 with the roof of the garage mere inches above my car, and cement pylons all around me, and I've neglected to mention up until this point, that the garage is UNDERGROUND... yeah my anxiety levels started rising quickly. It didn't help matters that other cars seemed to zip to/fro and my first attempt at trying to follow one of these 'veterans' of the underground maze only resulted in my delving further into the belly of the beast, which I didn't realize until they nestled their vehicle into their designated parking space and went blithely on their way.
The anxiety ratcheted up about 10 notches when I thought about calling Kevin, just for moral support, and realized the thousands of tons of cement around me would prevent any attempt to contact the outside world... This was about the time I put my car in park in the middle of the garage and started freaking out for a bit.
I pulled myself together and vowed to find ANY exit by following the signs, and if it happened to be a permit or owner exit, well I would wait for someone to leave, explain my plight, and plead if necessary for them to help me exit. Luckily I stumbled upon the correct exit about 10 minutes later, and began talking to the parking attendant as if she was the first person I'd seen in days! She politely explained that it was not an uncommon experience as this particular garage I had chosen was 3 stories under ground and spanned 4 city blocks. FOUR CITY BLOCKS!!!
I've made a mental note, NEVER to return to that garage for ANY reason, and am now even more thankful to be sitting comfortably at my 'home' office enjoying my lunch anxiety free in my yoga pants and a comfy tee!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
2 Year Old's Guide to Smiling....
We worked on teaching Caleb how to 'smile' for the camera this weekend.
We started with a smirk...
Asked him if he could show us his teeth...
and ended up losing his eyes....
When we asked him to show us his teeth and keep his eyes open we got...
Finally we were able to pull it all together :)
All the while he was consoling bear in his sling, and continuing to tell us "Shhhhh... bear is sleeping".
We started with a smirk...
Asked him if he could show us his teeth...
and ended up losing his eyes....
When we asked him to show us his teeth and keep his eyes open we got...
Finally we were able to pull it all together :)
All the while he was consoling bear in his sling, and continuing to tell us "Shhhhh... bear is sleeping".
Friday, October 1, 2010
Adventures in Pumping
**Disclaimer** This blog may contain a little too much TMI for any male readers I may have... Dad this means you... however it is WAY too funny not to share, so read on at your own risk and don't say I didn't warn you!***
I'm a proponent for breast feeding. I agree with all the nutritional benefits it stands to impart upon my child, I think the bond developed during that time of feeding is priceless, and..... Oh who am I kidding... I'm cheap and lazy! When I found out it cost ~$30 for a container of formula, which might last 2 weeks TOPS, and then having to wake in the middle of the night to mix and heat formula, and remember to tote it around with me whenever we went out??? No thanks!
I didn't realize, until registering for baby material while pregnant with Caleb, that my alternative to the $30 Formula containers would manifest itself in a $300+ Breast pump... Can we say EXTORTION!!!! The money miser within almost balked completely and walked away saying the girls would just have to do their thing, I didn't need any outside assistance... however the realization that a 3 month maternity leave would come to an end and the girls would have to return to work with me, left little wiggle room. I took solace in justifying that $300 amortized over multiple children resulted in pennies on the dollar and the ends justified the means.
That was until this past week....
I've always taken pride in being somewhat of a dairy farm, I had more than enough to feed my little man, and could even ship some off to premie's in need. I'd navigated through 4 turns with mastitis, all in the name of better nutrition, so I was more than a little concerned when my 'supply' began to dwindle with Logan only rounding the 4 month mark. It was taking WAY longer than normal to even get a couple ounces produced via the trusty pump, and we were going through my 'reserves' at an alarming rate.
Last night Kevin volunteered to disassemble my pump in an effort to return it to its original glory, because remember, we are far to cheap to toss the towel in without a fight and ante up for a new one. Upon further inspection a critical piece used to create the suction had perforated, thus resulting in a weak seal, and poor production... YAY Problem solved!!! Not quite, the pump still didn't work after our spit and shoe string attempt at fixing it. What to do.... You other mom's out there realize the predicament I was faced with... a couple of days of reduced production and your body starts throwing in the towel for you and after that, there's little hope for recovery... We had to act fast... So what did we do???
I've heard stories of the husbands that take one for the team and step up to the task, but the mental image of that alone for me was a bit much, that was a line I couldn't cross. We did however come up with our own hybrid version! Against my better judgment, I need to create a visual for you... the pump parts are funnel in nature, they connect to a bottle, and long tubes attach to the pump that creates the suction necessary to produce... Well we'd already determined the suction had been compromised, so in an experimental effort, Kevin took the end of one of the hoses that had been attached to the pump, placed the end in his mouth, and inhaled deeply....
"YOWSA" I exclaimed when I realized what had happened, glanced down, and was awe inspired when I realized it was working! He took the second hose and tried for 2 at a time... Success! Then he handed me one of the tubes and said "get to work", while he manned the other. I thought it was hysterical... sitting there watching Grey's Anatomy, both sucking through a long hose to essentially siphon out the "boobie juice" (as we refer to it around here), through the funnel provided and into the bottles, all without ever having to touch the stuff! I was getting a little cocky in our new found invention and challenged him to a race to see who could fill up their bottle first (there really is something wrong in my head)... All was going well, until I lost my focus during a great scene of Grey's, somehow miss handled the equipment (that we were obviously using for the intended purpose), and didn't notice the the hose was no longer siphoning correctly and took a big gulp of... you guessed it .... ACK!!!!!
Up to that point, I had never, would never, never crossed my mind, to try the stuff... There was no curiosity as to what I was feeding my children. I was, and still firmly remain, in the camp of individuals that am equally amazed and grossed out by the fact my body can nourish my child. Thank you God for feeding my baby, now pass me my PASTURIZED 2% and plate 'o Oreo's please!
The milk mishap was the divine intervention the money miser mini me :) needed to concede Mama's mouth is not the mechanics intended for creating suction, and motivated me to find the fix or ante up for the new pump! Chalk one up for the good guys, this Milk Mystery is solved!
I'm a proponent for breast feeding. I agree with all the nutritional benefits it stands to impart upon my child, I think the bond developed during that time of feeding is priceless, and..... Oh who am I kidding... I'm cheap and lazy! When I found out it cost ~$30 for a container of formula, which might last 2 weeks TOPS, and then having to wake in the middle of the night to mix and heat formula, and remember to tote it around with me whenever we went out??? No thanks!
I didn't realize, until registering for baby material while pregnant with Caleb, that my alternative to the $30 Formula containers would manifest itself in a $300+ Breast pump... Can we say EXTORTION!!!! The money miser within almost balked completely and walked away saying the girls would just have to do their thing, I didn't need any outside assistance... however the realization that a 3 month maternity leave would come to an end and the girls would have to return to work with me, left little wiggle room. I took solace in justifying that $300 amortized over multiple children resulted in pennies on the dollar and the ends justified the means.
That was until this past week....
I've always taken pride in being somewhat of a dairy farm, I had more than enough to feed my little man, and could even ship some off to premie's in need. I'd navigated through 4 turns with mastitis, all in the name of better nutrition, so I was more than a little concerned when my 'supply' began to dwindle with Logan only rounding the 4 month mark. It was taking WAY longer than normal to even get a couple ounces produced via the trusty pump, and we were going through my 'reserves' at an alarming rate.
Last night Kevin volunteered to disassemble my pump in an effort to return it to its original glory, because remember, we are far to cheap to toss the towel in without a fight and ante up for a new one. Upon further inspection a critical piece used to create the suction had perforated, thus resulting in a weak seal, and poor production... YAY Problem solved!!! Not quite, the pump still didn't work after our spit and shoe string attempt at fixing it. What to do.... You other mom's out there realize the predicament I was faced with... a couple of days of reduced production and your body starts throwing in the towel for you and after that, there's little hope for recovery... We had to act fast... So what did we do???
I've heard stories of the husbands that take one for the team and step up to the task, but the mental image of that alone for me was a bit much, that was a line I couldn't cross. We did however come up with our own hybrid version! Against my better judgment, I need to create a visual for you... the pump parts are funnel in nature, they connect to a bottle, and long tubes attach to the pump that creates the suction necessary to produce... Well we'd already determined the suction had been compromised, so in an experimental effort, Kevin took the end of one of the hoses that had been attached to the pump, placed the end in his mouth, and inhaled deeply....
"YOWSA" I exclaimed when I realized what had happened, glanced down, and was awe inspired when I realized it was working! He took the second hose and tried for 2 at a time... Success! Then he handed me one of the tubes and said "get to work", while he manned the other. I thought it was hysterical... sitting there watching Grey's Anatomy, both sucking through a long hose to essentially siphon out the "boobie juice" (as we refer to it around here), through the funnel provided and into the bottles, all without ever having to touch the stuff! I was getting a little cocky in our new found invention and challenged him to a race to see who could fill up their bottle first (there really is something wrong in my head)... All was going well, until I lost my focus during a great scene of Grey's, somehow miss handled the equipment (that we were obviously using for the intended purpose), and didn't notice the the hose was no longer siphoning correctly and took a big gulp of... you guessed it .... ACK!!!!!
Up to that point, I had never, would never, never crossed my mind, to try the stuff... There was no curiosity as to what I was feeding my children. I was, and still firmly remain, in the camp of individuals that am equally amazed and grossed out by the fact my body can nourish my child. Thank you God for feeding my baby, now pass me my PASTURIZED 2% and plate 'o Oreo's please!
The milk mishap was the divine intervention the money miser mini me :) needed to concede Mama's mouth is not the mechanics intended for creating suction, and motivated me to find the fix or ante up for the new pump! Chalk one up for the good guys, this Milk Mystery is solved!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Filtering my "To Do" List
I can't sleep. I seem to find the hours between 11pm and 2, sometimes 3am, provide the most insightful thoughts. Thoughts that are drowned out during the constant hustle/bustle of normal day to day activities, which when reflected upon, make said day to day activities seem quite trite. I've been told to get a pen/paper next to my bed, write my thoughts down as they come, and this activity will aide in the overall sleep attempt, keeping me from mulling things over well into the night. Wonderful advice. Why is it I always seem to remember this nugget of advice around 1-2am???
As I'm sure is the case with most women, and likely some men... although I'm not going to even pretend to understand the male psyche... and they say women are complicated... one word 'ego'... ya'll aren't a walk in the park yourselves, however, I digress.
As I was saying... what keeps me up at night is generally figuring out what I can be doing better. It's why I think the thought can apply to both men and women, but with women there is a consensus that while we maintain the multiple personalities of Mom, Wife, and Self and all the associated activities, the pervading thought is 'what step can I take that would make all of this flow just a little bit easier'.... Or maybe I really am just a "supply chain" geek hell bent on organizing EVERY facet of my life!
Whatever the reason, it seems that during my day I used up every minute, and then when I reflect at night, I see every minute I wasted. So, my 'bedside' note to myself this evening, is to put a sticky note on my computer that asks myself "are you serving". Whether its my kids, Kevin, or me, if I feel good about the way I answer that question when I see it, I can be satisfied that I used all my minutes the right way. (WOW, talk about conviction... God didn't even make the top 3, on the first type through... we'll bump him to the top of the list... good thing I proof read! How's that for honesty;), wish I could blame it on the late hour!
We'll see how tomorrow goes... however at this rate, I'm concerned my first day of 'serving' is going to require a nap... Doesn't bode well for my efforts does it?!? I'll keep you posted after a few weeks of my experiment how it all goes!
As I'm sure is the case with most women, and likely some men... although I'm not going to even pretend to understand the male psyche... and they say women are complicated... one word 'ego'... ya'll aren't a walk in the park yourselves, however, I digress.
As I was saying... what keeps me up at night is generally figuring out what I can be doing better. It's why I think the thought can apply to both men and women, but with women there is a consensus that while we maintain the multiple personalities of Mom, Wife, and Self and all the associated activities, the pervading thought is 'what step can I take that would make all of this flow just a little bit easier'.... Or maybe I really am just a "supply chain" geek hell bent on organizing EVERY facet of my life!
Whatever the reason, it seems that during my day I used up every minute, and then when I reflect at night, I see every minute I wasted. So, my 'bedside' note to myself this evening, is to put a sticky note on my computer that asks myself "are you serving". Whether its my kids, Kevin, or me, if I feel good about the way I answer that question when I see it, I can be satisfied that I used all my minutes the right way. (WOW, talk about conviction... God didn't even make the top 3, on the first type through... we'll bump him to the top of the list... good thing I proof read! How's that for honesty;), wish I could blame it on the late hour!
We'll see how tomorrow goes... however at this rate, I'm concerned my first day of 'serving' is going to require a nap... Doesn't bode well for my efforts does it?!? I'll keep you posted after a few weeks of my experiment how it all goes!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Shopping Nirvana
I would not classify myself as a "shopper". I don't enjoy going to malls or major department stores, and when I am shopping I don't take my time looking over the merchandise waiting for something to catch my eye. I'm fairly certain my aversion to shopping is directly tied to the number of digits in my back account at any given moment, as I do often find myself thinking what an amazing fashionista I could be if I was independently wealthy... Alas... That is not the case.
I do however pride myself on being a bargain hunter, fiscally responsible, mature with my finances... Or as some may view it... cheap. My stores of choice are Ross & Marshall's for Clothes and Shoes, I'm a member of every deal of the day websites; Woot, Groupon, One Deal a day, etc.. and I am totally infatuated with Craig's list.... Despite Kevin's concern that, in his words, "One of these days a Craig's List psycho is going to eat you with a fork".... I'll keep an eye out for that one!
I tend to envision these two opposite ideals, the shopper at the malls/department stores vs. the bargain hunter sifting for sales, as a venn diagram (think way back to those old math days... the two intersecting circles...) and the portion in the middle is the shopping 'Holy Grail'. When you can find that pair of "Seven for All Mankind" jeans, which retailed for over $100, and you can walk out with them for $35, which went perfectly with your "Nine West" patent red leather heals, that only cost YOU $25 instead of retails $65...
You see, its not that I don't enjoy the finer things in life... Yes, of course I want the Bentley... I just want it at the Buick's price! When I know that if I'm patient and keep my eye open for the sale I can get exactly what I want at a fraction of the price, I don't see the point in paying full price.
I recently just topped my all time best... courtesy of my great friends on Craig's List... Scoring a "Chariot Cougar: Double", with all the attachments... Bike, Running, Infant position-er, etc... en-total would have retailed for ~$900, and I scooped up the amazing deal for a cool $100. In the month that we've owned it, I've been stopped on the street more than 10 times asking questions about it and wanting to look at it! I LOVE IT!!! To be honest, before I found it, I had no previous knowledge of the "Chariot" brand... but the people stopping me are apparently well aware of it, and understand the high cost, so its THAT much more fun when they ask if it was worth it, and without missing a step I can say, "Well I got this for $100 on Craig's List, so yes, its been worth every penny." Ahhhh... what a feeling!
The kicker in all this is, after we outgrow this bad boy, it will likely find itself back on Craig's List and will probably end up paying for itself! Now THAT'S what I call shopping nirvana, making your purchase make you money!
I do however pride myself on being a bargain hunter, fiscally responsible, mature with my finances... Or as some may view it... cheap. My stores of choice are Ross & Marshall's for Clothes and Shoes, I'm a member of every deal of the day websites; Woot, Groupon, One Deal a day, etc.. and I am totally infatuated with Craig's list.... Despite Kevin's concern that, in his words, "One of these days a Craig's List psycho is going to eat you with a fork".... I'll keep an eye out for that one!
I tend to envision these two opposite ideals, the shopper at the malls/department stores vs. the bargain hunter sifting for sales, as a venn diagram (think way back to those old math days... the two intersecting circles...) and the portion in the middle is the shopping 'Holy Grail'. When you can find that pair of "Seven for All Mankind" jeans, which retailed for over $100, and you can walk out with them for $35, which went perfectly with your "Nine West" patent red leather heals, that only cost YOU $25 instead of retails $65...
You see, its not that I don't enjoy the finer things in life... Yes, of course I want the Bentley... I just want it at the Buick's price! When I know that if I'm patient and keep my eye open for the sale I can get exactly what I want at a fraction of the price, I don't see the point in paying full price.
I recently just topped my all time best... courtesy of my great friends on Craig's List... Scoring a "Chariot Cougar: Double", with all the attachments... Bike, Running, Infant position-er, etc... en-total would have retailed for ~$900, and I scooped up the amazing deal for a cool $100. In the month that we've owned it, I've been stopped on the street more than 10 times asking questions about it and wanting to look at it! I LOVE IT!!! To be honest, before I found it, I had no previous knowledge of the "Chariot" brand... but the people stopping me are apparently well aware of it, and understand the high cost, so its THAT much more fun when they ask if it was worth it, and without missing a step I can say, "Well I got this for $100 on Craig's List, so yes, its been worth every penny." Ahhhh... what a feeling!
The kicker in all this is, after we outgrow this bad boy, it will likely find itself back on Craig's List and will probably end up paying for itself! Now THAT'S what I call shopping nirvana, making your purchase make you money!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Mama Moments... The Good, Bad, & Ugly
I was "that mom" today. The one you look at and say "awwww, bless her heart", and then thank your lucky stars you only have to watch the scene from afar, and not be an active participant. It wasn't for very long, but I had a good hour this morning, where I just couldn't get it together, and I blame it on the fact that I actually LEFT my house at 7am... on a bike... towing my 'little' men (which after having towed them, I'm seriously thinking of replacing with enormously HEAVY men)... Seriously, as I was trying to get them up a SMALL hill.... a runner passed me... I WAS ON A BIKE! Note to self... let's up the endurance workouts.
Normally that first hour after I wake up, my brain is still dusting the cobwebs off, however this particular morning, 30 minutes into that first hour, I was attempting to lock up my bike and transition my stroller from bike mode to walk mode, while listening to Logan scream his little lungs out and Caleb say at least 50 times in 2 minutes... "Out... Out mama, Out". I tackled that, acknowledged Logan was NOT gonna stop crying unless I was holding him, so put him in the sling and set off to get Caleb the promised 'treat' of Hot Cocoa.
We are now in line at Starbucks... Logan, STILL screaming, despite my consistent 'mama bounce' going non-stop with intermittent "shush's"... and Caleb off of his "Out" repeat has switched to "Hot Choc, Hot Choc mama, HOT CHOC!!!". We order, they make, we go to pay.... Um yep, I forgot my debit card and am cashless... AWESOME! More screaming, Caleb still on repeat, and now I'm on the phone activating the secondary card I had in my wallet, and THANK GOD, it worked! (I did not actually hold the line up, had that been the case, I would have just walked out)!
SO... We finally get the Hot Cocoa, Logan is now at least 'thinking' about calming down, and we make it out the door. As I get Caleb positioned back in the stroller with his drink, the following quote summed up perfectly from a nice woman enjoying her 'peaceful' morning cup 'o joe at one of the sidewalk tables, "You have my respect and pity"... Um... Thanks, I think :)
The intent behind this little morning jaunt was to check out the Farmer's Market in Old Town, and let Kevin have a morning to sleep in/relax without distraction. As I walked past that first booth at the Farmer's Market, I had a Homer Simpson "Doh!" moment as I recalled... Farmer's Market = Cash... (Morning: 2, Julie: 0).... However, having a newly activated Debit card, I walk to an ATM... Not so fast.... newly activated ATM = Unknown PIN # and therefore still no cash (Morning: 3, Julie: 0). Some how un-deterred by ALL of the above, I set out to the CVS around the corner, where I intend to buy a water, over pay, and FINALLY get some cash. Luckily that was just the moment when my morning turned. We bumped into Tonya, the boys new nanny, on the street. She fronted me a $20, and helped push the stroller back toward the Farmer's Market, where we found some DELICIOUS fresh fruit, the flowers were breath taking, and Logan finally passed out in the sling! Tonya had to head on for her day, but Caleb and I took our treats, and headed down to the waterfront to watch the boats in the morning and feed the ducks... and Finally the tally in the Mama column started to go up :) After leisurely walking back up the street, with Logan now in the stroller and Caleb on my back for piggy back ride, we made it back to the bike and started to head for home (11am)... About 10 mins into my ride back home, I turned around and both boys are passed out in the buggie. I rode for the next hour, enjoying the beautiful bike trail, bridges over the streams, through the marsh, saw a bald eagle, and enjoyed the peace and quiet!
Despite my rocky start, the day turned out spectacularly... I would say it even qualified as one of my "Perfect Saturday's"... It's amazing how a flawless blue sky, with a bike trail sporting views of water, and a nice cool breeze can make you overlook even the most trying experiences!
Normally that first hour after I wake up, my brain is still dusting the cobwebs off, however this particular morning, 30 minutes into that first hour, I was attempting to lock up my bike and transition my stroller from bike mode to walk mode, while listening to Logan scream his little lungs out and Caleb say at least 50 times in 2 minutes... "Out... Out mama, Out". I tackled that, acknowledged Logan was NOT gonna stop crying unless I was holding him, so put him in the sling and set off to get Caleb the promised 'treat' of Hot Cocoa.
We are now in line at Starbucks... Logan, STILL screaming, despite my consistent 'mama bounce' going non-stop with intermittent "shush's"... and Caleb off of his "Out" repeat has switched to "Hot Choc, Hot Choc mama, HOT CHOC!!!". We order, they make, we go to pay.... Um yep, I forgot my debit card and am cashless... AWESOME! More screaming, Caleb still on repeat, and now I'm on the phone activating the secondary card I had in my wallet, and THANK GOD, it worked! (I did not actually hold the line up, had that been the case, I would have just walked out)!
SO... We finally get the Hot Cocoa, Logan is now at least 'thinking' about calming down, and we make it out the door. As I get Caleb positioned back in the stroller with his drink, the following quote summed up perfectly from a nice woman enjoying her 'peaceful' morning cup 'o joe at one of the sidewalk tables, "You have my respect and pity"... Um... Thanks, I think :)
The intent behind this little morning jaunt was to check out the Farmer's Market in Old Town, and let Kevin have a morning to sleep in/relax without distraction. As I walked past that first booth at the Farmer's Market, I had a Homer Simpson "Doh!" moment as I recalled... Farmer's Market = Cash... (Morning: 2, Julie: 0).... However, having a newly activated Debit card, I walk to an ATM... Not so fast.... newly activated ATM = Unknown PIN # and therefore still no cash (Morning: 3, Julie: 0). Some how un-deterred by ALL of the above, I set out to the CVS around the corner, where I intend to buy a water, over pay, and FINALLY get some cash. Luckily that was just the moment when my morning turned. We bumped into Tonya, the boys new nanny, on the street. She fronted me a $20, and helped push the stroller back toward the Farmer's Market, where we found some DELICIOUS fresh fruit, the flowers were breath taking, and Logan finally passed out in the sling! Tonya had to head on for her day, but Caleb and I took our treats, and headed down to the waterfront to watch the boats in the morning and feed the ducks... and Finally the tally in the Mama column started to go up :) After leisurely walking back up the street, with Logan now in the stroller and Caleb on my back for piggy back ride, we made it back to the bike and started to head for home (11am)... About 10 mins into my ride back home, I turned around and both boys are passed out in the buggie. I rode for the next hour, enjoying the beautiful bike trail, bridges over the streams, through the marsh, saw a bald eagle, and enjoyed the peace and quiet!
Despite my rocky start, the day turned out spectacularly... I would say it even qualified as one of my "Perfect Saturday's"... It's amazing how a flawless blue sky, with a bike trail sporting views of water, and a nice cool breeze can make you overlook even the most trying experiences!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Lyrics for Life
"Back to life, Back to Reality...." Those are the lyrics running through my head this evening, as Kevin iron's his shirt and slacks in preparation for his first day of work tomorrow. Looking back over the past four months, it feel's appropriate having song lyrics describing the way I feel tonight, considering it was a 'play list' courtesy of the man upstairs that kicked off this crazy ride!
4 Months ago, the beginning of May, I was 9 months pregnant, Kevin was taking his last finals, and everything was ahead of us.... One particularly overwhelming day, I get into the car a little anxious and I hear the following songs on the radio in perfect succession from departure to arrival: Faith Hill "Just Breathe", followed by Matt Maher's song with lyrics "this is the first day of the rest of your life", and finally I pulled into my destination listening to U2's, "It's a beautiful Day". I couldn't help but get out of my car with a smile on my face knowing everything that lay ahead would work out no matter what.
I think it was my last post, that likened this adventure to a death defying bicycle ride... well... We've made it, and have grown considerably in the process. It's funny how easy it is to take credit for things when they go your way... Kevin getting through school, getting a great job offer, having a healthy second baby boy, setting up for a cross country move, getting our house in Austin rented, finding a great place in Alexandria... everything fell into place so perfectly... I was flying pretty high, and an instant was all it took to put everything back into perspective. Watching Caleb lying in Kevin's arms, unresponsive, and being completely helpless to do anything except wait for an ambulance and pray... It wasn't us at all, it was all God, and I am SO thankful for all the amazing blessings his given us over these last 4 months, and the awesome opportunities we have ahead of us.
This last week has just been the icing on the cake! It's been BEAUTIFUL weather, the first few meetings with Tonya, our new nanny for the boys, were fantastic and I'm praying will be a long term solution for us, and then a labor day weekend for the books! Saturday we rode the metro into the capital and walked all around the city,then Logan and I had a nice dinner with Tonya and some of her gal pals on the deck of a nice restaurant overlooking the Potomac. Sunday we found a great new church that was very similar to Gateway back in Austin, except only 3 years old and a fraction of the size but growing with lots of promise. After church we took to the bike trails and rode to Maryland... This is the first time I can say I rode my bike across state lines! It was a beautiful ride and allowed us to walk along the banks of the Potomac River at National Harbor. Then Monday we were back on the Metro headed to the National Zoo, and seeing more of Washington D.C.. I had my first grocery shopping experience at Trader Joe's, and am in LOVE, what an amazing store! We seem to be 5/10 minutes away from everything, and the neighborhood is awesome! We would LOVE to be able to share our new town with anyone/everyone who wants to visit so PLEASE don't be shy, cause the only thing we've found missing from this place yet, is all the people we love and miss back in Michigan and Austin!!!
Thanks En Vogue, for bringing me "Back to life, Back to reality, back to the here and now... Yeah"!
4 Months ago, the beginning of May, I was 9 months pregnant, Kevin was taking his last finals, and everything was ahead of us.... One particularly overwhelming day, I get into the car a little anxious and I hear the following songs on the radio in perfect succession from departure to arrival: Faith Hill "Just Breathe", followed by Matt Maher's song with lyrics "this is the first day of the rest of your life", and finally I pulled into my destination listening to U2's, "It's a beautiful Day". I couldn't help but get out of my car with a smile on my face knowing everything that lay ahead would work out no matter what.
I think it was my last post, that likened this adventure to a death defying bicycle ride... well... We've made it, and have grown considerably in the process. It's funny how easy it is to take credit for things when they go your way... Kevin getting through school, getting a great job offer, having a healthy second baby boy, setting up for a cross country move, getting our house in Austin rented, finding a great place in Alexandria... everything fell into place so perfectly... I was flying pretty high, and an instant was all it took to put everything back into perspective. Watching Caleb lying in Kevin's arms, unresponsive, and being completely helpless to do anything except wait for an ambulance and pray... It wasn't us at all, it was all God, and I am SO thankful for all the amazing blessings his given us over these last 4 months, and the awesome opportunities we have ahead of us.
This last week has just been the icing on the cake! It's been BEAUTIFUL weather, the first few meetings with Tonya, our new nanny for the boys, were fantastic and I'm praying will be a long term solution for us, and then a labor day weekend for the books! Saturday we rode the metro into the capital and walked all around the city,then Logan and I had a nice dinner with Tonya and some of her gal pals on the deck of a nice restaurant overlooking the Potomac. Sunday we found a great new church that was very similar to Gateway back in Austin, except only 3 years old and a fraction of the size but growing with lots of promise. After church we took to the bike trails and rode to Maryland... This is the first time I can say I rode my bike across state lines! It was a beautiful ride and allowed us to walk along the banks of the Potomac River at National Harbor. Then Monday we were back on the Metro headed to the National Zoo, and seeing more of Washington D.C.. I had my first grocery shopping experience at Trader Joe's, and am in LOVE, what an amazing store! We seem to be 5/10 minutes away from everything, and the neighborhood is awesome! We would LOVE to be able to share our new town with anyone/everyone who wants to visit so PLEASE don't be shy, cause the only thing we've found missing from this place yet, is all the people we love and miss back in Michigan and Austin!!!
Thanks En Vogue, for bringing me "Back to life, Back to reality, back to the here and now... Yeah"!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Halfway down the hill and one Hell of a ride!
Do you remember that feeling when you first learned how to ride a bike? When your still yelling back at your parent NOT to let go, to hold on, because your just not quite ready to go it alone... only to turn around and realize you ARE doing it all by yourself.... That moment of sheer, exhilarating, terror where you jerk the handle bar, and ALMOST spill it completely, but somehow manage to regain composure and from that moment on lose ALL fear, and embrace the high?
I've been living that moment... The second BEFORE you get to embrace the high... for the last two months now, and the outlook for at least the next, oh I don't know... Year or so... looks pretty much the same!
I'm not complaining... I'm reveling in it, because my eye is on the prize... that high, which is currently just out of my reach when I can say..."I'm doing it, I'm doing it"!!! The way I see it, people can fall into one of two categories... Those afraid they'll fall when they realize they're pushing their limits, so they decide to embrace the comfort of what is known.... and the group I fall into... SO addicted to the high that a few bumps and bruises along the way are only considered collateral damage.
When I think about all the change, and unknowns, Kevin and I have decided to embark on over the course of ONE summer, I do get a little (who am I kidding... a LOT) overwhelmed at times... What kind of crazy lunatic thinks its a good idea to have a baby, almost exactly the same time her husband is graduating, which undoubtedly will change the entire dynamic of our marriage, then decide to move 1500 miles away, to a place neither has ever been, in support of a position neither of us really know all that much about.... and then agree to manage all of the changing family dynamics, while holding down a career out of the 800 sq ft. abode where her two ankle biting, circus monkeys, will most assuredly sit quietly and play with their toys (yeah right!).
After re-reading that last paragraph, I'm not entirely sure a tiny handle bar jerk completely encapsulates that "moment" I said I was living.... I think a more accurate depiction would be: Yelling back to Mom or Dad to 'hold on', only to realize I was careening down a hill at 90 miles per hour, blind folded, without a helmet....
However, if a kid learned how to ride a bike THAT way, think about how much sweeter it would be to realize they had made it! (Let's not bring in, the odds of that actually occurring, as noted in previous posts... I'm a hopeless optimist).
I'll keep ya' posted with the hill levels out, until then, here's hoping the 'collateral damage' is kept to a minimum!
I've been living that moment... The second BEFORE you get to embrace the high... for the last two months now, and the outlook for at least the next, oh I don't know... Year or so... looks pretty much the same!
I'm not complaining... I'm reveling in it, because my eye is on the prize... that high, which is currently just out of my reach when I can say..."I'm doing it, I'm doing it"!!! The way I see it, people can fall into one of two categories... Those afraid they'll fall when they realize they're pushing their limits, so they decide to embrace the comfort of what is known.... and the group I fall into... SO addicted to the high that a few bumps and bruises along the way are only considered collateral damage.
When I think about all the change, and unknowns, Kevin and I have decided to embark on over the course of ONE summer, I do get a little (who am I kidding... a LOT) overwhelmed at times... What kind of crazy lunatic thinks its a good idea to have a baby, almost exactly the same time her husband is graduating, which undoubtedly will change the entire dynamic of our marriage, then decide to move 1500 miles away, to a place neither has ever been, in support of a position neither of us really know all that much about.... and then agree to manage all of the changing family dynamics, while holding down a career out of the 800 sq ft. abode where her two ankle biting, circus monkeys, will most assuredly sit quietly and play with their toys (yeah right!).
After re-reading that last paragraph, I'm not entirely sure a tiny handle bar jerk completely encapsulates that "moment" I said I was living.... I think a more accurate depiction would be: Yelling back to Mom or Dad to 'hold on', only to realize I was careening down a hill at 90 miles per hour, blind folded, without a helmet....
However, if a kid learned how to ride a bike THAT way, think about how much sweeter it would be to realize they had made it! (Let's not bring in, the odds of that actually occurring, as noted in previous posts... I'm a hopeless optimist).
I'll keep ya' posted with the hill levels out, until then, here's hoping the 'collateral damage' is kept to a minimum!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
A "Labor" of Love: Logan Micah's birth story
There's a risk I take in publishing this blog, that those who know and love me, will under their breath call me a Bitch, or issue some other curse in my direction... and I can't say I would blame them. I've done it... but generally my insults were hurled in the direction of the sickly svelte super model-esque woman that claimed to have bore a child a week or two ago... I'm waiting to be THAT lucky, but for now, I'm certainly not looking my gift horse in the mouth!
One push. That's right, it only took one... and yes, I'm bragging just a little bit, and sure its not one of the 'good attributes' in people... but after putting in my 9 months and bringing an almost 9lb child into this world, I think I'm entitled to one little blog bragging about ONE PUSH ;)!!!
So those that have SOMEHOW stumbled across my blog, have likely also found or been privy to my 'post labor' pictures showing off Logan and the new "Fam of Four"(if you haven't, leave a comment, cause I'd love to know if someone is actually 'following' me, that I don't know ;)... So I will now attempt to explain the story that lead to "the hair" and my infamous ONE PUSH.
Well, it all started about 9 months ago... it was this ONE night.... HA... just kidding, those details are classified!
Starting a little closer to due date, its important to note, that I was under strict lock down, to hold Jr. inside until after Kev's Graduation AND until after my mom arrived. After, what felt like, an eternity passed, those days came and went... I thought for sure 24 hours after my mom landed I would pop the little bugger out.... much to my dismay, that didn't happen.
For the next 6 days, in the 90 degree Texas heat, we WALKED, Shopped, walked, tried the hibbity... multiple times, tried red wine, tried the pressure points, TRIED EVERYTHING... by my 40 week doc check up, on June 1st, I was a woman on a mission... I told the doc to "do what you can" to get me going, then after leaving the doc's office at 9am, I cleaned the entire house, walked for a couple hours around the mall, and refused to sit down... even through dinner! I started feeling the little dinky contractions, but didn't want to get my hopes up as I had felt those plenty of times... so I didn't say anything... about 3 hours into those, I finally told Kevin and my mom.
Kevin: "Why don't you just relax and sit down, its nothing, you're just getting yourself all worked up"..... MEN... I swear... YOU calm down and relax with an 8+ pound child you want OUT of you! ;)
Mom: "Really... Really... you think?... Really???" (followed by all sorts of motherly like excitement that is really difficult to describe... all the gushy faces and super excitedness) She then proceeded to start walking right behind me for my laps around the kitchen for the next hour... God love her ;) I was telling her to cool it, she was putting too much pressure on me to make sure 'this was IT'.
Renee, who would be watching Caleb while we went to the hospital, made it to our house and I made the executive call it was better to check it out, than wait till 3am when I had to wake everyone up (it was now 10pm at night). I still wasn't convinced this was the real deal when we made it to the hospital, as I was cracking jokes and not showing any signs of labor. After getting there my 'power hour' started.... The ONE HOUR you get to prove to the nurses your making progress and they shouldn't send you home.... So what did I do... Lied ofcourse :)
Nurse: "How many centimeters were you this morning"
Julie: "a little over 3" (Truth = 4)
Nurse: "Well, we'll check you again in an hour and see if you've made any progress"
Over the next hour I forced my mom and Kevin to accompany me for a 3 mile (I'm not kidding) power walk around the hospital, complete with squats and lunges interspersed for good measure... I wasn't messing around! The result.... VINDICATION... I was admitted! I told the troops we could then celebrate and we started playing cards (all the while still having my contractions now 3-5 mins apart, and now closing in on the midnight hour). After a great game of cards, I decided it was time to 'get ready', and proceeded to hot roll my hair for the post labor pic's... Judge me if you will, but at least I can look back at this labor and see the cute newborn in the pic instead of the hideous version of myself that just gave birth to it!
Hot rollers in and setting, I decided at ~2:30 am that if I was going to get ANY sleep, I should probably elect for the epidural before things really started to hurt... little did I know that 2.5 hours later my little man would be here! 4:15 my water broke... 4:45 the nurse came in and asked I give a 'practice' push to give her an idea when to call the doc... after I essentially breathed in/out, she yelled for me to stop and promptly called the doc... 4:55 the troops roll in, I get the go ahead for the next contraction to push, and bada bing, bada boom out pops Jr!
Now two weeks removed from the blessed event, and hindsight being 20/20... I TOTALLY should have 'faked' some more pain and pushes to get a little empathy from the hubs ;)... He views labor now as no big deal... uh hello, 9 months before, and a lifetime after... but yeah, lets focus on 5 minutes! He's been fantastic though, and the quick/seamless delivery has allowed for a fairly quick/seamless recovery, so for that I'm very thankful.
To any/all the ladies reading this, damning me to Hell... I would say I'm sorry... but I'm not... so how about I just say, I'll pray it happens like this for you next time.... and we can ALL keep praying we turn into the skinny svelte super models in the week post baby!
One push. That's right, it only took one... and yes, I'm bragging just a little bit, and sure its not one of the 'good attributes' in people... but after putting in my 9 months and bringing an almost 9lb child into this world, I think I'm entitled to one little blog bragging about ONE PUSH ;)!!!
So those that have SOMEHOW stumbled across my blog, have likely also found or been privy to my 'post labor' pictures showing off Logan and the new "Fam of Four"(if you haven't, leave a comment, cause I'd love to know if someone is actually 'following' me, that I don't know ;)... So I will now attempt to explain the story that lead to "the hair" and my infamous ONE PUSH.
Well, it all started about 9 months ago... it was this ONE night.... HA... just kidding, those details are classified!
Starting a little closer to due date, its important to note, that I was under strict lock down, to hold Jr. inside until after Kev's Graduation AND until after my mom arrived. After, what felt like, an eternity passed, those days came and went... I thought for sure 24 hours after my mom landed I would pop the little bugger out.... much to my dismay, that didn't happen.
For the next 6 days, in the 90 degree Texas heat, we WALKED, Shopped, walked, tried the hibbity... multiple times, tried red wine, tried the pressure points, TRIED EVERYTHING... by my 40 week doc check up, on June 1st, I was a woman on a mission... I told the doc to "do what you can" to get me going, then after leaving the doc's office at 9am, I cleaned the entire house, walked for a couple hours around the mall, and refused to sit down... even through dinner! I started feeling the little dinky contractions, but didn't want to get my hopes up as I had felt those plenty of times... so I didn't say anything... about 3 hours into those, I finally told Kevin and my mom.
Kevin: "Why don't you just relax and sit down, its nothing, you're just getting yourself all worked up"..... MEN... I swear... YOU calm down and relax with an 8+ pound child you want OUT of you! ;)
Mom: "Really... Really... you think?... Really???" (followed by all sorts of motherly like excitement that is really difficult to describe... all the gushy faces and super excitedness) She then proceeded to start walking right behind me for my laps around the kitchen for the next hour... God love her ;) I was telling her to cool it, she was putting too much pressure on me to make sure 'this was IT'.
Renee, who would be watching Caleb while we went to the hospital, made it to our house and I made the executive call it was better to check it out, than wait till 3am when I had to wake everyone up (it was now 10pm at night). I still wasn't convinced this was the real deal when we made it to the hospital, as I was cracking jokes and not showing any signs of labor. After getting there my 'power hour' started.... The ONE HOUR you get to prove to the nurses your making progress and they shouldn't send you home.... So what did I do... Lied ofcourse :)
Nurse: "How many centimeters were you this morning"
Julie: "a little over 3" (Truth = 4)
Nurse: "Well, we'll check you again in an hour and see if you've made any progress"
Over the next hour I forced my mom and Kevin to accompany me for a 3 mile (I'm not kidding) power walk around the hospital, complete with squats and lunges interspersed for good measure... I wasn't messing around! The result.... VINDICATION... I was admitted! I told the troops we could then celebrate and we started playing cards (all the while still having my contractions now 3-5 mins apart, and now closing in on the midnight hour). After a great game of cards, I decided it was time to 'get ready', and proceeded to hot roll my hair for the post labor pic's... Judge me if you will, but at least I can look back at this labor and see the cute newborn in the pic instead of the hideous version of myself that just gave birth to it!
Hot rollers in and setting, I decided at ~2:30 am that if I was going to get ANY sleep, I should probably elect for the epidural before things really started to hurt... little did I know that 2.5 hours later my little man would be here! 4:15 my water broke... 4:45 the nurse came in and asked I give a 'practice' push to give her an idea when to call the doc... after I essentially breathed in/out, she yelled for me to stop and promptly called the doc... 4:55 the troops roll in, I get the go ahead for the next contraction to push, and bada bing, bada boom out pops Jr!
Now two weeks removed from the blessed event, and hindsight being 20/20... I TOTALLY should have 'faked' some more pain and pushes to get a little empathy from the hubs ;)... He views labor now as no big deal... uh hello, 9 months before, and a lifetime after... but yeah, lets focus on 5 minutes! He's been fantastic though, and the quick/seamless delivery has allowed for a fairly quick/seamless recovery, so for that I'm very thankful.
To any/all the ladies reading this, damning me to Hell... I would say I'm sorry... but I'm not... so how about I just say, I'll pray it happens like this for you next time.... and we can ALL keep praying we turn into the skinny svelte super models in the week post baby!
Monday, May 24, 2010
May 2010 in Review... (I know... its not over yet, but its been a doozie thus far!!!)
It has been a busy couple of weeks for us, and is just the prelude to the whirlwind that awaits! In an effort to stay on top of ‘current’ events, I figured it was time to bring everyone up to speed on what we’ve been up to!
May 2010, while not quite complete, has held some pretty major milestones… and is poised to claim one more biggie before calling it quits! A baby shower, Mother’s Day, Caleb’s 2nd Birthday, Kevin’s graduation, visits from Ma/Pa Alspaugh for Graduation, and Grammie Sue flying in for the birth of Jr. is the highlight reel from this awesome month… We’ve yet to see if a ‘birth’ will make it into the line-up before May wraps!
A few of the more memorable moments from the month include….
At the baby shower, I opted out of the ‘traditional’ shower games, and decided a ‘baby themed’ game of our family favorite “Fish bowl” game would be more fun….. It certainly did not fail to deliver the laughs watching a room full of women try to act out clues for answers to “Breast Pump”, “Circumcision”, and “Knocked Up”!!! I think we ALL got a little more comfortable with each other before the end of THAT party!
Caleb’s 2nd Birthday was a success all-around! I took my lessons learned from throwing his 1st B-day and pared down the invite list from ~40 to 20, and moved it from a weekend where the revolving door worked ALL afternoon to a BBQ on a weeknight… Helping keep things moving and people on time both in coming and going!!! Much less stress for Mama… and Caleb couldn’t have been any happier with all of his ‘friends’ at his ‘party’… the two most common words of the night! It was awesome seeing his face light up that everyone was there, and watching all of his energy as he ran from room to room ‘checking out the scene’. It was a little bittersweet for me, knowing how much his world was going to change in the next couple months, but made it ALL that much more special to honor him for the amazing little man he is!
Graduation, being the next major milestone, is an impossible task to summarize.... There aren't words to explain how it felt attaining a goal Kevin and I have been working toward for essentially the entire duration of our marriage! While I do feel a sense of pride in my own contributions of support/cheerleading on the sidelines, it is overwhelmed by the awe and gratitude I have for Kevin…. And since I have NO shame, I will use my ‘semi public’ blog ;) forum to heap more accolades upon him! Thank you babe for being the MOST amazing husband a girl could ever ask for, thank you for putting in all those LONG hours, sleepless nights, and sacrificed weekends to make our dreams come true! I appreciate you more than you could possibly imagine, and am so thankful my babies have such a wonderful role model in their dad! I LOVE YOU!!!
Saturday was QUITE the marathon event however… Wake-up call at 5:30am, on campus by 6:45, Ceremony from 8-10, walking the campus for pictures until ~12:30… An impromtu interview from our local news..... (http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/education/students/college-grads-look-to-the-future)
Home for a quick lunch and nap for Caleb, then off to a great after party with a bunch of our Texas friends that have been cheering us on along the way! Needless to say, doing all that while 9 months preggers left me feeling like I’d been hit by a Mack Truck Sunday morning, so we played it VERY low key on Sunday… Church, a nice breakfast, then naps/pool for the remainder of the day!
Mom/Dad Alspaugh fly out tomorrow (Tuesday) morning, and by Thursday my mom will be landing to kick off our next big adventure… Welcoming Jr. into the world!!!! As you can see… things are QUITE hectic around here, so don’t be TOO surprised if my next update is a ‘recap’ of JUNE! :)
May 2010, while not quite complete, has held some pretty major milestones… and is poised to claim one more biggie before calling it quits! A baby shower, Mother’s Day, Caleb’s 2nd Birthday, Kevin’s graduation, visits from Ma/Pa Alspaugh for Graduation, and Grammie Sue flying in for the birth of Jr. is the highlight reel from this awesome month… We’ve yet to see if a ‘birth’ will make it into the line-up before May wraps!
A few of the more memorable moments from the month include….
At the baby shower, I opted out of the ‘traditional’ shower games, and decided a ‘baby themed’ game of our family favorite “Fish bowl” game would be more fun….. It certainly did not fail to deliver the laughs watching a room full of women try to act out clues for answers to “Breast Pump”, “Circumcision”, and “Knocked Up”!!! I think we ALL got a little more comfortable with each other before the end of THAT party!
Caleb’s 2nd Birthday was a success all-around! I took my lessons learned from throwing his 1st B-day and pared down the invite list from ~40 to 20, and moved it from a weekend where the revolving door worked ALL afternoon to a BBQ on a weeknight… Helping keep things moving and people on time both in coming and going!!! Much less stress for Mama… and Caleb couldn’t have been any happier with all of his ‘friends’ at his ‘party’… the two most common words of the night! It was awesome seeing his face light up that everyone was there, and watching all of his energy as he ran from room to room ‘checking out the scene’. It was a little bittersweet for me, knowing how much his world was going to change in the next couple months, but made it ALL that much more special to honor him for the amazing little man he is!
Graduation, being the next major milestone, is an impossible task to summarize.... There aren't words to explain how it felt attaining a goal Kevin and I have been working toward for essentially the entire duration of our marriage! While I do feel a sense of pride in my own contributions of support/cheerleading on the sidelines, it is overwhelmed by the awe and gratitude I have for Kevin…. And since I have NO shame, I will use my ‘semi public’ blog ;) forum to heap more accolades upon him! Thank you babe for being the MOST amazing husband a girl could ever ask for, thank you for putting in all those LONG hours, sleepless nights, and sacrificed weekends to make our dreams come true! I appreciate you more than you could possibly imagine, and am so thankful my babies have such a wonderful role model in their dad! I LOVE YOU!!!
Saturday was QUITE the marathon event however… Wake-up call at 5:30am, on campus by 6:45, Ceremony from 8-10, walking the campus for pictures until ~12:30… An impromtu interview from our local news..... (http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/education/students/college-grads-look-to-the-future)
Home for a quick lunch and nap for Caleb, then off to a great after party with a bunch of our Texas friends that have been cheering us on along the way! Needless to say, doing all that while 9 months preggers left me feeling like I’d been hit by a Mack Truck Sunday morning, so we played it VERY low key on Sunday… Church, a nice breakfast, then naps/pool for the remainder of the day!
Mom/Dad Alspaugh fly out tomorrow (Tuesday) morning, and by Thursday my mom will be landing to kick off our next big adventure… Welcoming Jr. into the world!!!! As you can see… things are QUITE hectic around here, so don’t be TOO surprised if my next update is a ‘recap’ of JUNE! :)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
"Julie" Blume.... Thank you God!
Judy Blume may have coined the phrase “Are you there God?... It’s me Margaret” in her quintessential tween epic, detailing the constant struggles, ups, downs, and everything in betweens of your average pre-pubescent girl, but I’ve decided it’s time to write the sequel… In very “SHORT” story form of course, as I lack the time and motivation to draft the full novel.
You see Margaret and I, well, we shared quite a bit in common in our early years… Both lagged severely behind in ‘physical developments’ (aka… sweater puppies), were hopelessly inept in the art of early flirtation, or for that matter even normal interaction with anyone of the opposite sex… and while Margaret only ‘worried’ she wouldn’t know how to kiss when the time came, I cemented that notion by actually laughing out loud at my first attempt, because it ‘felt funny’…. That relationship, of ALMOST a month, promptly ended 3 days later. Without digressing into even more embarrassing stories of those awkward years, I think it’s safe to assume I quite completely personified our fictional “Margaret”, in person.
That book undoubtedly became, and remains, a cult classic likely in large part to how relatable the title is…. Are you there God??? As I stand on the cusp of the next chapter in my life, I can undoubtedly answer that question with a resounding YES!!!
So what became of our terribly awkward, pre-teen Margaret… (aka Me)… that allows her such conviction in knowing God was indeed there, and listening ALL those years???? She continued to fumble/struggle through the remainder of her adolescent years, desperately trying to fit into a crowd she was never meant to fit into, only to realize, at a MUCH later age, that being awkward at that early age was all part of the ‘plan’. It kept her out of more trouble than she likely could have handled in those formative years, and allowed her time to develop a ‘personality’ that would later capture the heart of the boy she was SUPPOSED to kiss…. The boy that would teach her that all those quirky, ‘awkward’, tendencies were something to be embraced, and love her for them, not in spite of them. After meeting that boy, she got to sit back in awe at the amazingness of the life that unfolded before her, and many years later had a much different letter to pen to God…. That I’m assuming went something like the following:
Are you there God?.... It’s me Julie:
So I’m still awkward… but I’m not complaining about it anymore! I wanted to write you a quick note to say THANK YOU! I don’t know how you do it… and more often wonder WHY you do it… but you continue to amaze me day in and day out by giving me everything I’ve ever wanted out of life… and something’s I never even thought to ask for! I just wanted to let you know that I’m enjoying EVERY minute of this awesome life you gave me, and every minute I’m able to spend in the lives of the even MORE awesome people you’ve filled my life with! If I’m being totally honest here, I do get a little nervous that you might have this ‘life scoreboard’ you monitor, and given all the blessings I’ve received in such a short time span, my quota is almost up. I know, I shouldn’t concern myself with such things, and just be thankful in the moment… but you’re kinda spoiling me here… again… NOT a complaint. Just wanted to say, you pretty much rock at planning my life... thanks for the awesome husband, friends, family, kids, job, house, opportunities, love, acceptance, and grace! I will certainly continue trying to ‘pay it forward’ as best I can, feel free to give pointers on how to improve!
Also, given my recent spoiling… should you feel the need to ‘test’ me, give me an ‘opportunity to grow’, or whatever the current buzz word up in heaven is for the more ‘challenging’ times in our lives down here… If I can ask one thing, it would be that you cement all these wonderful memories in my head right now so that I have them as strength to draw from. I’d like to say, I’ll never question the plan again, in light of recent awesomeness… but I know that would be a lie, considering I see everything happening around me on a daily basis, and still can’t help wonder what the point in some of the struggling I see others going through is for. If you can continue to protect those that I love, and keep them safe, so we can spend MUCH more time together down here, I would REALLY appreciate it!
Thanks again for everything, I can’t wait to see what you still have in store! Love ~*~Julie~*~
You see Margaret and I, well, we shared quite a bit in common in our early years… Both lagged severely behind in ‘physical developments’ (aka… sweater puppies), were hopelessly inept in the art of early flirtation, or for that matter even normal interaction with anyone of the opposite sex… and while Margaret only ‘worried’ she wouldn’t know how to kiss when the time came, I cemented that notion by actually laughing out loud at my first attempt, because it ‘felt funny’…. That relationship, of ALMOST a month, promptly ended 3 days later. Without digressing into even more embarrassing stories of those awkward years, I think it’s safe to assume I quite completely personified our fictional “Margaret”, in person.
That book undoubtedly became, and remains, a cult classic likely in large part to how relatable the title is…. Are you there God??? As I stand on the cusp of the next chapter in my life, I can undoubtedly answer that question with a resounding YES!!!
So what became of our terribly awkward, pre-teen Margaret… (aka Me)… that allows her such conviction in knowing God was indeed there, and listening ALL those years???? She continued to fumble/struggle through the remainder of her adolescent years, desperately trying to fit into a crowd she was never meant to fit into, only to realize, at a MUCH later age, that being awkward at that early age was all part of the ‘plan’. It kept her out of more trouble than she likely could have handled in those formative years, and allowed her time to develop a ‘personality’ that would later capture the heart of the boy she was SUPPOSED to kiss…. The boy that would teach her that all those quirky, ‘awkward’, tendencies were something to be embraced, and love her for them, not in spite of them. After meeting that boy, she got to sit back in awe at the amazingness of the life that unfolded before her, and many years later had a much different letter to pen to God…. That I’m assuming went something like the following:
Are you there God?.... It’s me Julie:
So I’m still awkward… but I’m not complaining about it anymore! I wanted to write you a quick note to say THANK YOU! I don’t know how you do it… and more often wonder WHY you do it… but you continue to amaze me day in and day out by giving me everything I’ve ever wanted out of life… and something’s I never even thought to ask for! I just wanted to let you know that I’m enjoying EVERY minute of this awesome life you gave me, and every minute I’m able to spend in the lives of the even MORE awesome people you’ve filled my life with! If I’m being totally honest here, I do get a little nervous that you might have this ‘life scoreboard’ you monitor, and given all the blessings I’ve received in such a short time span, my quota is almost up. I know, I shouldn’t concern myself with such things, and just be thankful in the moment… but you’re kinda spoiling me here… again… NOT a complaint. Just wanted to say, you pretty much rock at planning my life... thanks for the awesome husband, friends, family, kids, job, house, opportunities, love, acceptance, and grace! I will certainly continue trying to ‘pay it forward’ as best I can, feel free to give pointers on how to improve!
Also, given my recent spoiling… should you feel the need to ‘test’ me, give me an ‘opportunity to grow’, or whatever the current buzz word up in heaven is for the more ‘challenging’ times in our lives down here… If I can ask one thing, it would be that you cement all these wonderful memories in my head right now so that I have them as strength to draw from. I’d like to say, I’ll never question the plan again, in light of recent awesomeness… but I know that would be a lie, considering I see everything happening around me on a daily basis, and still can’t help wonder what the point in some of the struggling I see others going through is for. If you can continue to protect those that I love, and keep them safe, so we can spend MUCH more time together down here, I would REALLY appreciate it!
Thanks again for everything, I can’t wait to see what you still have in store! Love ~*~Julie~*~
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The "Evolution" of Mom... Julie Style.
Some people consider themselves a mom at conception, others think that milestone is more likely achieved after the birth of their little bundle of joy. Rounding the bend on Caleb’s 2nd birthday, and the impending birth of #2, I still find myself wondering at what point my actual conversion occurred??? I don’t think my experience can be pinned on either occasion definitively… and generally that thought is the impetus behind all my insecurities about being a mom in the first place.
Before I go any further, this is not one of ‘those’ fishing blogs… Anyone reading may know what I’m talking about… We’ve all seen the status updates or comments where someone makes the statement “I’m not good enough, yada, yada, yada…” and then waits for the comments to come pouring in about how amazing they are. This is not that blog. Having kept Caleb alive for two years, relatively healthy, and thoroughly loved I do feel confident overall that in the grand scheme of things I’m slowly but surely earning my stripes. I was just feeling a little introspective, and wanted to share another layer of the ‘Julie Onion’.
I question the timing of my conversion into motherhood, based on my radically different interpretation of events leading up to and shortly following Caleb’s birth. The prevailing stories center around love at first sight, tears, an immediate and unbreakable bond, etc…
My experience… it felt like there was an alien inside of me for the ~4 months I could feel the little bugger, and before that, it didn’t even really feel real since I didn’t feel any different. I tried the talking to ‘it’ before I know what ‘it’ was, and felt more foolish than maternal. I started to get REALLY concerned about my ‘maternal instincts’, when you hear everyone else having the conversation with the hubs about “if it comes down to me and the baby, save the baby…” and the only thing I kept thinking was “I could do this again, save me, SAVE ME”. The part that made it all super weird to me was, this was planned… I thought for sure when you make the conscience decision to try, all those ‘mommy’ feelings just came naturally. So I waited… When they didn’t come, I resigned myself to the fact that conception wasn’t my tipping point, surely birth will be.
When they put the tiny guy in my arms, I think I may have gone into shock. There is that hormone they talk about, the one that makes you forget a lot surrounding the labor/delivery part so your more inclined to do it again… That is a STRONG hormone! I don’t remember much at all, other than thinking “Holy Shit”… on repeat for probably close to a week straight. I’ll say one thing, I don’t know how you could make it through that first week, (well in reality have children at all) and NOT believe in a higher power… It all just works, somehow, without the instruction manual everyone thinks they need.
As I write about it more, the insight is becoming that much more clear, that while a title transfer occurs at birth the actual conversion to a mom is an ever evolving process… as they grow, so do I.
I just heard a tiny ‘gong’ inside my head, and the voice of Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid come through saying “Very good, little grasshopper”… By golly, I may have just cracked the eternal code... cause that little nugget of insight applies to my title as wife too… I picked up that handy tag line on August 21st 2004… but continue evolving there as well. Ahhhhh, what a wonderful feeling removing all that pressure trying to be the perfect wife/super mom, etc… from the start. Maybe it’s not the age old battle pitting creation against evolution… we were created to evolve.
Geeze, I need to just start blogging about my random insecurities more often, if this kind of clarity is going to bust its way through as I write. I now feel perfectly at ease knowing my ‘version’ of mom more closely aligns with the host of “Man vs. Wild”, never knowing what obstacles I’ll be presented with or what MacGyver type sick skills I’ll employ to get myself out of the mess, vs. “Super Nanny” to the rescue with her creative solutions for raising perfectly well balanced and adjusted kids…. It’s all about evolution baby!
Before I go any further, this is not one of ‘those’ fishing blogs… Anyone reading may know what I’m talking about… We’ve all seen the status updates or comments where someone makes the statement “I’m not good enough, yada, yada, yada…” and then waits for the comments to come pouring in about how amazing they are. This is not that blog. Having kept Caleb alive for two years, relatively healthy, and thoroughly loved I do feel confident overall that in the grand scheme of things I’m slowly but surely earning my stripes. I was just feeling a little introspective, and wanted to share another layer of the ‘Julie Onion’.
I question the timing of my conversion into motherhood, based on my radically different interpretation of events leading up to and shortly following Caleb’s birth. The prevailing stories center around love at first sight, tears, an immediate and unbreakable bond, etc…
My experience… it felt like there was an alien inside of me for the ~4 months I could feel the little bugger, and before that, it didn’t even really feel real since I didn’t feel any different. I tried the talking to ‘it’ before I know what ‘it’ was, and felt more foolish than maternal. I started to get REALLY concerned about my ‘maternal instincts’, when you hear everyone else having the conversation with the hubs about “if it comes down to me and the baby, save the baby…” and the only thing I kept thinking was “I could do this again, save me, SAVE ME”. The part that made it all super weird to me was, this was planned… I thought for sure when you make the conscience decision to try, all those ‘mommy’ feelings just came naturally. So I waited… When they didn’t come, I resigned myself to the fact that conception wasn’t my tipping point, surely birth will be.
When they put the tiny guy in my arms, I think I may have gone into shock. There is that hormone they talk about, the one that makes you forget a lot surrounding the labor/delivery part so your more inclined to do it again… That is a STRONG hormone! I don’t remember much at all, other than thinking “Holy Shit”… on repeat for probably close to a week straight. I’ll say one thing, I don’t know how you could make it through that first week, (well in reality have children at all) and NOT believe in a higher power… It all just works, somehow, without the instruction manual everyone thinks they need.
As I write about it more, the insight is becoming that much more clear, that while a title transfer occurs at birth the actual conversion to a mom is an ever evolving process… as they grow, so do I.
I just heard a tiny ‘gong’ inside my head, and the voice of Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid come through saying “Very good, little grasshopper”… By golly, I may have just cracked the eternal code... cause that little nugget of insight applies to my title as wife too… I picked up that handy tag line on August 21st 2004… but continue evolving there as well. Ahhhhh, what a wonderful feeling removing all that pressure trying to be the perfect wife/super mom, etc… from the start. Maybe it’s not the age old battle pitting creation against evolution… we were created to evolve.
Geeze, I need to just start blogging about my random insecurities more often, if this kind of clarity is going to bust its way through as I write. I now feel perfectly at ease knowing my ‘version’ of mom more closely aligns with the host of “Man vs. Wild”, never knowing what obstacles I’ll be presented with or what MacGyver type sick skills I’ll employ to get myself out of the mess, vs. “Super Nanny” to the rescue with her creative solutions for raising perfectly well balanced and adjusted kids…. It’s all about evolution baby!
Monday, March 15, 2010
"Freaky Friday" Fell on a Sunday
The most peculiar thing happened yesterday. If you’ve ever seen the movie “Freaky Friday”, or at least understand its premise, Parent/Child switching bodies for an undisclosed duration of time, you will understand when I tell you that this actually happened to Caleb and I, for just about an hour Sunday afternoon.
We’ve had a stretch of glorious spring weather here in Austin, and this weekend was no exception. Mid-Seventies, blue sky, sunshine… days don’t come much better than these. Tack on the fact that it’s a weekend, and there is a ‘Kite Festival’ going on downtown Austin, and we’ve got a recipe for success! To accurately portray just HOW excited I was for the possibilities of this day, I can truly say that I wasn’t even THAT disappointed losing my hour of sleep to daylight savings time, because the day couldn’t start fast enough! (I can almost hear the gasps from those that know me well enough… Me… Not caring about losing an hour of sleep?!? I know… Shocking!)
We made it through the formalities of the morning… Church, check… Lunch, check…. Nap, check. It only got better, when, upon waking Caleb from his nap, and explaining that we were going to ride a ‘BUS’, his face truly LIT UP, eyes wide, huge smile, and from that point through the 20 minute drive downtown… All we heard was “Bus, bus, bus, bus…”.
When we arrived at the designated parking garage to catch the shuttle busses to the event, the line wrapped clear around the entire parking garage…. And Kevin wasn’t exactly thrilled with our chosen parking spot, marked tow-away zone, which I assured him was only a Mon-Fri notice. Caleb had SEEN the busses and the excitement had reached fever pitch… I HAD to get him on a BUS! Kevin worked some sense through my single minded focus of getting Caleb on a bus, and explained there are plenty of city busses, we can forgo the festival, catch a city bus, get some ice cream and hit a different park… I was able to concede holding a two year old still in an hour line didn’t seem worth the reward, plan B would work.
We found ourselves a nice parking spot, safely marked as open, and started waiting for our bus. 10 minutes or so passed, as well as two busses heading the opposite direction, and we decided to keep things moving. We’d just walk towards our ice cream destination and with the bus stops spaced about ever 200 yards, we could certainly make it to one if we saw the opportunity approaching. 20 minutes later we had walked the 7 blocks and were ordering our ice cream cones. We enjoyed our delicious treats, and as luck would have it, a city bus pulled up immediately after stepping out of the ice cream parlor…. Perfection!
If I was a betting woman, my money would be on the next moment that triggered the conversion. Logic reared its ugly head, masked as Kevin, and reminded me this was a different bus loop, we didn’t know where it went or how long we’d have to ride it before making the loop…. I watched as my serendipitous opportunity drove off, and developed just a twinge of misplaced resentment that I didn’t get my way…. (hmmmm yes, this sounds very similar to behavior I’ve seen Caleb exhibit a time or two). I’m not proud of this next part, but to finish the story, I have to disclose that the ‘tude, snowballed into a full-fledged tantrum, when we realized we had missed our other bus back and would have to walk the 7 blocks back to the car, NEVER getting to ride a bus. Caleb, during my entire meltdown, never lost his smile or the spring in his step and was far too pre-occupied with the motorcycles now driving by to even care about something as trivial as missing a bus. I got the stern “I can’t believe you’re acting like this” from Kevin and proceeded to sulk for the Car ride home.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, this embarrassing conversion to the terrible two’s was thankfully short lived, and while not an excuse, I feel justified asking for clemency based on previously blogged upon crazy hormones. We managed to salvage the rest of the beautiful day, with a great All-American cook-out with friends, complete with steak, potatoes, corn on the cob, and Strawberry Shortcake to top it off!
My goal for the remaining two months of this pregnancy, maintain a maturity level at least above Caleb’s… Not sure after this last weekend, that setting a goal to ‘act my own age’ is attainable for 2 full months!
We’ve had a stretch of glorious spring weather here in Austin, and this weekend was no exception. Mid-Seventies, blue sky, sunshine… days don’t come much better than these. Tack on the fact that it’s a weekend, and there is a ‘Kite Festival’ going on downtown Austin, and we’ve got a recipe for success! To accurately portray just HOW excited I was for the possibilities of this day, I can truly say that I wasn’t even THAT disappointed losing my hour of sleep to daylight savings time, because the day couldn’t start fast enough! (I can almost hear the gasps from those that know me well enough… Me… Not caring about losing an hour of sleep?!? I know… Shocking!)
We made it through the formalities of the morning… Church, check… Lunch, check…. Nap, check. It only got better, when, upon waking Caleb from his nap, and explaining that we were going to ride a ‘BUS’, his face truly LIT UP, eyes wide, huge smile, and from that point through the 20 minute drive downtown… All we heard was “Bus, bus, bus, bus…”.
When we arrived at the designated parking garage to catch the shuttle busses to the event, the line wrapped clear around the entire parking garage…. And Kevin wasn’t exactly thrilled with our chosen parking spot, marked tow-away zone, which I assured him was only a Mon-Fri notice. Caleb had SEEN the busses and the excitement had reached fever pitch… I HAD to get him on a BUS! Kevin worked some sense through my single minded focus of getting Caleb on a bus, and explained there are plenty of city busses, we can forgo the festival, catch a city bus, get some ice cream and hit a different park… I was able to concede holding a two year old still in an hour line didn’t seem worth the reward, plan B would work.
We found ourselves a nice parking spot, safely marked as open, and started waiting for our bus. 10 minutes or so passed, as well as two busses heading the opposite direction, and we decided to keep things moving. We’d just walk towards our ice cream destination and with the bus stops spaced about ever 200 yards, we could certainly make it to one if we saw the opportunity approaching. 20 minutes later we had walked the 7 blocks and were ordering our ice cream cones. We enjoyed our delicious treats, and as luck would have it, a city bus pulled up immediately after stepping out of the ice cream parlor…. Perfection!
If I was a betting woman, my money would be on the next moment that triggered the conversion. Logic reared its ugly head, masked as Kevin, and reminded me this was a different bus loop, we didn’t know where it went or how long we’d have to ride it before making the loop…. I watched as my serendipitous opportunity drove off, and developed just a twinge of misplaced resentment that I didn’t get my way…. (hmmmm yes, this sounds very similar to behavior I’ve seen Caleb exhibit a time or two). I’m not proud of this next part, but to finish the story, I have to disclose that the ‘tude, snowballed into a full-fledged tantrum, when we realized we had missed our other bus back and would have to walk the 7 blocks back to the car, NEVER getting to ride a bus. Caleb, during my entire meltdown, never lost his smile or the spring in his step and was far too pre-occupied with the motorcycles now driving by to even care about something as trivial as missing a bus. I got the stern “I can’t believe you’re acting like this” from Kevin and proceeded to sulk for the Car ride home.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, this embarrassing conversion to the terrible two’s was thankfully short lived, and while not an excuse, I feel justified asking for clemency based on previously blogged upon crazy hormones. We managed to salvage the rest of the beautiful day, with a great All-American cook-out with friends, complete with steak, potatoes, corn on the cob, and Strawberry Shortcake to top it off!
My goal for the remaining two months of this pregnancy, maintain a maturity level at least above Caleb’s… Not sure after this last weekend, that setting a goal to ‘act my own age’ is attainable for 2 full months!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Little Devil...Confessions of a Neurotic
I’ve recently learned I come from a long line of neurotics. This revelation wasn’t entirely earth shattering, as I always thought something was slightly amiss given the pristine (borderline hospital grade) cleanliness with which my mom kept our house growing up, and the attention to detail she paid when preparing to host a gathering, of ANY size. I didn’t realize this was an inherited gene, until I started seeing the early onset of symptoms shortly after we purchased our own house. I liken this genetic disorder to something close to Alzheimer’s, no not nearly as unfortunate, however as I’ve watched my own symptoms progress I realize they gain momentum with time, it can skip a generation, and as it spreads, its effects are quite debilitating. After following the symptoms back to the source I thought they had originated from, I come to learn my mom traced her roots back to her great grandmother as well… genetic… and pretty sure the clinical world would label OCD.
Don’t get me wrong, my house is NOWHERE near as clean as my mom’s, nor do I, at this point in my self diagnosed disorder, ever aspire to keep it as clean as she does (god bless ya’ mom, but it has to be exhausting!). I’m banking on the fact that if acknowledging the disorder is half the battle for alcoholics, why can’t that same theory apply to me as well. The little conscience ‘shoulder devil’ replies to that statement with, “its only cleaning and good preparation, what’s so wrong with keeping a clean house and throwing a great party”… Damn. Hard argument to fight back against. However, after my most recent little whirling dervish cleaning frenzy, a few co-workers gave me the high eyebrows, tossed in the ‘what would your husband say’, and commented that my ‘condition’ wasn’t conducive to those activities…. When I told them I was standing on a folding chair (now 7 months pregnant) re-screwing a window treatment into the wall on my lunch break so the nursery would ‘look pretty’ when visitors came over after work today. Hindsight being 20/20, the folding chair might have been where I lost them… ya’ think ;)… And true to form, when explaining the adventure to Kevin on the phone shortly after, it came with the ‘Jules….’ and dreaded long pause.
Looking back I clearly see why I HAD to do it on my lunch break… because if Kevin had been home, he would have been wholly opposed to my efforts, however being as busy as he is would have made a comment similar to “Jules, it doesn’t matter, they won’t even notice”. WHAT?!? Doesn’t matter?!? But it MAKES the room, how could someone NOT notice something missing, that CLEARLY makes the room!!! It was this thought, and the tenor in which I had it, that tipped me off…. Maybe there’s a little more neurosis, and a little less logic. I understand how some of you may have missed it, considering it sounds SO logical when written in black and white ;)
So what’s the line to walk? I’m not holding my breath, given the accolades our society heap onto the ‘women that do it all’, that I’ll be finding my own 12 step recovery program at the local elementary school or church…. And no offense to those benefiting from guidance of ‘trained professionals’, but thinking about paying someone to sit in a chair and ask me “Why I think the room has to be perfect”, sounds about as appealing as Chinese water torture. So, for now, I continue making the deal with my ‘little devil’… not wholly convinced that my neurosis is necessarily a BAD thing, but slightly more aware that there ARE occasions or ‘conditions’ I should give a higher precedent to than the perfection I seek in a room or setting.
And the little devil dances, singing ‘cleanliness is next to godliness’…. Sure, toss THAT one in my face!
Don’t get me wrong, my house is NOWHERE near as clean as my mom’s, nor do I, at this point in my self diagnosed disorder, ever aspire to keep it as clean as she does (god bless ya’ mom, but it has to be exhausting!). I’m banking on the fact that if acknowledging the disorder is half the battle for alcoholics, why can’t that same theory apply to me as well. The little conscience ‘shoulder devil’ replies to that statement with, “its only cleaning and good preparation, what’s so wrong with keeping a clean house and throwing a great party”… Damn. Hard argument to fight back against. However, after my most recent little whirling dervish cleaning frenzy, a few co-workers gave me the high eyebrows, tossed in the ‘what would your husband say’, and commented that my ‘condition’ wasn’t conducive to those activities…. When I told them I was standing on a folding chair (now 7 months pregnant) re-screwing a window treatment into the wall on my lunch break so the nursery would ‘look pretty’ when visitors came over after work today. Hindsight being 20/20, the folding chair might have been where I lost them… ya’ think ;)… And true to form, when explaining the adventure to Kevin on the phone shortly after, it came with the ‘Jules….’ and dreaded long pause.
Looking back I clearly see why I HAD to do it on my lunch break… because if Kevin had been home, he would have been wholly opposed to my efforts, however being as busy as he is would have made a comment similar to “Jules, it doesn’t matter, they won’t even notice”. WHAT?!? Doesn’t matter?!? But it MAKES the room, how could someone NOT notice something missing, that CLEARLY makes the room!!! It was this thought, and the tenor in which I had it, that tipped me off…. Maybe there’s a little more neurosis, and a little less logic. I understand how some of you may have missed it, considering it sounds SO logical when written in black and white ;)
So what’s the line to walk? I’m not holding my breath, given the accolades our society heap onto the ‘women that do it all’, that I’ll be finding my own 12 step recovery program at the local elementary school or church…. And no offense to those benefiting from guidance of ‘trained professionals’, but thinking about paying someone to sit in a chair and ask me “Why I think the room has to be perfect”, sounds about as appealing as Chinese water torture. So, for now, I continue making the deal with my ‘little devil’… not wholly convinced that my neurosis is necessarily a BAD thing, but slightly more aware that there ARE occasions or ‘conditions’ I should give a higher precedent to than the perfection I seek in a room or setting.
And the little devil dances, singing ‘cleanliness is next to godliness’…. Sure, toss THAT one in my face!
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Perfect Saturday
“We’re actually going to have a pretty nice little Saturday, we’re um, we’re gonna go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed Bath And Beyond, I don’t know. I don’t know if we’ll have enough time.” -Will Ferrell in Old School
Urban Dictionary defines a “Perfect Saturday" as a day when all the teams you hate, lose, and all the teams you love, win.... Seeing as how I’m not a sports aficionado... and though I can agree, a good home makeover does occasionaly make for a fun Saturday... I want to take a stab at creating my own definition. The complication to this task is, I’ve had MANY perfect Saturday’s, and the defining qualities that made them perfect seem to correlate directly to the season of life I was in at the time….
Take Pre-Teen Julie for example…. her definition of a perfect Saturday: packing some awesome treats in a picnic and heading to the beach with the fam and a close bud, where the waves were at perfect pitch for body surfing or an epic battle of king of the hill atop the “White Thing” (aka: A giant square piece of industrial strength Styrofoam, that my sisters and I played with for at least 5 years… no joke). Top off the day with a slumber party, where I didn’t have to wake up early for church the next day, and we've found perfection ;)!
Fast forward to Highschool Julie… again a day at the beach is included, but likely not without driving around for hours with our windows down and the music up, because yeah… we were cool like that… OFCOURSE no parents would be near us, and the motley crew of friends that I had would likely find ourselves all back at someone’s house for the evening, doing absolutely nothing, but somehow loving every minute of it.
The Perfect Saturday at College started with a 3pm kick off, which left the FULL morning/afternoon for tailgating, (without requiring the insane wake-up hour predicated by the Noon kickoffs), the weather would allow for perfect comfort in Jeans and a cute hoodie… MSU would trounce all over UofM… a quick booze snooze would follow the game, and we would celebrate our victory all night long! This type of a Saturday remained perfect, with a few occasional tweaks, all the way up to the point of mom-status… at which point I had to retire the weekend warrior after learning the hard way that you can’t nurse a hang-over with an early rising ankle biter!
I occasionally miss the carefree nature of heading out for the evening on a whim, and being able to sleep off the late night in the morning, or the get-up-‘n go weekends with friends… however after this past Saturday… I’ve come up with a new definition.
The Perfect Saturday as a mom, starts out with Kevin answering the call of duty and taking our little ball of energy out of the house for ‘fun with dad’, leaving it quiet enough to sleep in until I’m ready to rise on my own and stroll down for a leisurely breakfast (flash back to a Saturday morning, Pre-Caleb). It’s followed by a family ‘picnic’ on our patio, and shortly after Caleb going down for a nap sans fuss, allowing me to get ready in peace and quiet. After nap the whole fam heads out for an ‘adventure’, this week’s adventure… turtle hunting in a double kayak along Lake Austin on a beautiful sunny and 70 degree late February afternoon, followed up by watching Caleb discover all sorts of fun things at a local nature trail, and icing on the cake… Dinner out with my boys! Just when I think you can’t improve upon perfection… Caleb’s down for the night without so much as a peep, and Root beer floats and a great movie are waiting with Kevin downstairs! Now THAT my friends, is a perfect Saturday! I can concede that to some of my friends, pre-kid stage, this Saturday doesn’t sound all that exciting… to them, I pose the following question…. Have you ever tried taking a two year old in a KAYAK?!? OK… Exciting may not be the word used to describe it… but it certainly WAS an adventure!
Urban Dictionary defines a “Perfect Saturday" as a day when all the teams you hate, lose, and all the teams you love, win.... Seeing as how I’m not a sports aficionado... and though I can agree, a good home makeover does occasionaly make for a fun Saturday... I want to take a stab at creating my own definition. The complication to this task is, I’ve had MANY perfect Saturday’s, and the defining qualities that made them perfect seem to correlate directly to the season of life I was in at the time….
Take Pre-Teen Julie for example…. her definition of a perfect Saturday: packing some awesome treats in a picnic and heading to the beach with the fam and a close bud, where the waves were at perfect pitch for body surfing or an epic battle of king of the hill atop the “White Thing” (aka: A giant square piece of industrial strength Styrofoam, that my sisters and I played with for at least 5 years… no joke). Top off the day with a slumber party, where I didn’t have to wake up early for church the next day, and we've found perfection ;)!
Fast forward to Highschool Julie… again a day at the beach is included, but likely not without driving around for hours with our windows down and the music up, because yeah… we were cool like that… OFCOURSE no parents would be near us, and the motley crew of friends that I had would likely find ourselves all back at someone’s house for the evening, doing absolutely nothing, but somehow loving every minute of it.
The Perfect Saturday at College started with a 3pm kick off, which left the FULL morning/afternoon for tailgating, (without requiring the insane wake-up hour predicated by the Noon kickoffs), the weather would allow for perfect comfort in Jeans and a cute hoodie… MSU would trounce all over UofM… a quick booze snooze would follow the game, and we would celebrate our victory all night long! This type of a Saturday remained perfect, with a few occasional tweaks, all the way up to the point of mom-status… at which point I had to retire the weekend warrior after learning the hard way that you can’t nurse a hang-over with an early rising ankle biter!
I occasionally miss the carefree nature of heading out for the evening on a whim, and being able to sleep off the late night in the morning, or the get-up-‘n go weekends with friends… however after this past Saturday… I’ve come up with a new definition.
The Perfect Saturday as a mom, starts out with Kevin answering the call of duty and taking our little ball of energy out of the house for ‘fun with dad’, leaving it quiet enough to sleep in until I’m ready to rise on my own and stroll down for a leisurely breakfast (flash back to a Saturday morning, Pre-Caleb). It’s followed by a family ‘picnic’ on our patio, and shortly after Caleb going down for a nap sans fuss, allowing me to get ready in peace and quiet. After nap the whole fam heads out for an ‘adventure’, this week’s adventure… turtle hunting in a double kayak along Lake Austin on a beautiful sunny and 70 degree late February afternoon, followed up by watching Caleb discover all sorts of fun things at a local nature trail, and icing on the cake… Dinner out with my boys! Just when I think you can’t improve upon perfection… Caleb’s down for the night without so much as a peep, and Root beer floats and a great movie are waiting with Kevin downstairs! Now THAT my friends, is a perfect Saturday! I can concede that to some of my friends, pre-kid stage, this Saturday doesn’t sound all that exciting… to them, I pose the following question…. Have you ever tried taking a two year old in a KAYAK?!? OK… Exciting may not be the word used to describe it… but it certainly WAS an adventure!
What’s your definition?
Monday, February 22, 2010
One Small Step for Mankind... One Major Leap for a First Time Mom!
It’s February… By very nature, it tends to be a boring month. People are still in the post holiday slump, not wanting to use up precious vacation so early in the year, and generally the weather is touch and go…. So what’s one to do, in an effort to add a little excitement to the monotony??? Well, when you’re as wild and crazy as I am, you tackle life’s major obstacles, navigating the unknown, tapping into faith and sheer determination to accomplish the task at hand…in other words, moving a 21 month old from the safety and confines of the crib we’ve all grown so comfortable with, to the freedom and adventure of a big boy bed! I know, I know… the build-up was hardly substantiated, but cut me some slack, parenting is a compilation of major milestones from the multiple firsts you make it through in the first year, to a slightly more spread out schedule as time progresses.
With junior’s impending delivery creeping up, Kevin and I had been discussing whether we wanted to brave the unknown and work Caleb out of the crib to avoid having to purchase a new one… but with SO many additional unknown’s looming on the horizon, we thought cutting the kid some slack and leaving one constant in his life might be appreciated. Well, Caleb seemed to have plans of his own. About a week ago, he started balking at us putting him in his crib, indicating he’d rather sleep in the twin bed in his room. Without a gate, I couldn’t comply… for the past 12 months at least, I’ve watched what can only be described as ‘contact sleeping’, where Caleb and his crib would wage a nightly war to see how many sides of the crib he could run into while sleeping.
The stage was set for Saturday night… I purchased the gate, and armed with the information gleaned from “Nanny 911”, on how to teach a toddler to stay in his bed, I was ready! Certain he would test his new found boundary and follow me out the door after books, I let him know big boys got three tries but if he couldn’t stay in his bed, I would have to put him back in his crib. Imagine my surprise when our first attempt was a SUCCESS!!! My surprise was immediately tempered by my overwhelming humility ;) where I was the obvious hero, and my sheer parenting genius had triumphed! My ego was only slightly deflated when around 10pm we heard a telling ‘thrump’ upstairs, waited the requisite 10 seconds to move, sure tears were to follow…. Silence…
With junior’s impending delivery creeping up, Kevin and I had been discussing whether we wanted to brave the unknown and work Caleb out of the crib to avoid having to purchase a new one… but with SO many additional unknown’s looming on the horizon, we thought cutting the kid some slack and leaving one constant in his life might be appreciated. Well, Caleb seemed to have plans of his own. About a week ago, he started balking at us putting him in his crib, indicating he’d rather sleep in the twin bed in his room. Without a gate, I couldn’t comply… for the past 12 months at least, I’ve watched what can only be described as ‘contact sleeping’, where Caleb and his crib would wage a nightly war to see how many sides of the crib he could run into while sleeping.
The stage was set for Saturday night… I purchased the gate, and armed with the information gleaned from “Nanny 911”, on how to teach a toddler to stay in his bed, I was ready! Certain he would test his new found boundary and follow me out the door after books, I let him know big boys got three tries but if he couldn’t stay in his bed, I would have to put him back in his crib. Imagine my surprise when our first attempt was a SUCCESS!!! My surprise was immediately tempered by my overwhelming humility ;) where I was the obvious hero, and my sheer parenting genius had triumphed! My ego was only slightly deflated when around 10pm we heard a telling ‘thrump’ upstairs, waited the requisite 10 seconds to move, sure tears were to follow…. Silence…
Went upstairs to find my parenting genius had allowed my little man to fall out of the bed headfirst, and somehow the little guy slept through the entire episode. I laughed out loud, got the camera to snap a picture, then lifted him back to his bed… Rinse and repeat about an hour later, when I learned I should lay him in a different direction so he doesn’t wake up with a nice concussion . Couple tweaks to the bed on Sunday, and I think it’s safe to claim victory over the crib!
In retrospect, I’m able to concede I was lucky as hell, and am thanking my lucky stars for the blessing that is Caleb and his demeanor in accepting change, holding out hope that with all the change yet to come, he’ll navigate it with as much composure.
In retrospect, I’m able to concede I was lucky as hell, and am thanking my lucky stars for the blessing that is Caleb and his demeanor in accepting change, holding out hope that with all the change yet to come, he’ll navigate it with as much composure.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Hello Hormones...
Status quo for me is no muss no fuss, low to no drama. I don't cry... well at real life anyway... Get me a good Extreme Home Makeover, or a night in with a good Drama, and the waterworks let loose. For the most part, in an agrument, I can keep my head cool, and stay on point.
This however, is the status quo version of myself... who I seem to have misplaced.
The replacement is this pregnant lady that see's a Wendy's and NEEDS a frosty, is convinced if I can't get ahold of my loving devoted husband while he completes a major school project, that he's left me for the harlot he keeps, and that no employee EVER has been faced with the trials/tribulations I'm encountering on a daily basis.
The trouble with all of this, is I SEE the change, I acknowledge this crazy lady is NOT me, but despite my best efforts at rational thinking, sanity continues to ellude me. So I've resorted to the "woooo saaaa" relaxation chants I picked up on from Martin Lawrence on "Bad Boys", hoping a few deep breaths will clear the hormone induced delusions! I take solace knowing that I don't embrace crazy and use it as a weapon of mass destruction against those I love... rather I say... "hold on, having a crazy moment" and whether out of respect or need for self preservation they heed my warning.
So here I wait, currently plotting the demise of the service gentleman for making me 'schedule' an appointment for an oil change, knowing full well the 2 hour wait is standard (Ever heard of call ahead seating, take a hint dangit!), and day dreaming about a Frosty, cheese quesadillas, a #10 Jimmy John's sub, and a little Rudy's Country BBQ to top it all off. I will continue to fight the good fight, and maintain the modicum of status quo girl I know and love... and understand. Eagerly counting the weeks/days/minutes when she can rightfully reclaim her hold on reality, and excersise better self control in the face of delcious treats!
This however, is the status quo version of myself... who I seem to have misplaced.
The replacement is this pregnant lady that see's a Wendy's and NEEDS a frosty, is convinced if I can't get ahold of my loving devoted husband while he completes a major school project, that he's left me for the harlot he keeps, and that no employee EVER has been faced with the trials/tribulations I'm encountering on a daily basis.
The trouble with all of this, is I SEE the change, I acknowledge this crazy lady is NOT me, but despite my best efforts at rational thinking, sanity continues to ellude me. So I've resorted to the "woooo saaaa" relaxation chants I picked up on from Martin Lawrence on "Bad Boys", hoping a few deep breaths will clear the hormone induced delusions! I take solace knowing that I don't embrace crazy and use it as a weapon of mass destruction against those I love... rather I say... "hold on, having a crazy moment" and whether out of respect or need for self preservation they heed my warning.
So here I wait, currently plotting the demise of the service gentleman for making me 'schedule' an appointment for an oil change, knowing full well the 2 hour wait is standard (Ever heard of call ahead seating, take a hint dangit!), and day dreaming about a Frosty, cheese quesadillas, a #10 Jimmy John's sub, and a little Rudy's Country BBQ to top it all off. I will continue to fight the good fight, and maintain the modicum of status quo girl I know and love... and understand. Eagerly counting the weeks/days/minutes when she can rightfully reclaim her hold on reality, and excersise better self control in the face of delcious treats!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Anticipation
There is so much more “About me”, than I could fit into the 1200 character allotment provided by Blogspot, but I figure as I start up this blogging effort, those who choose to follow can learn the rest as I figure it out :). For instance, I neglected to comment on the fact I maintain the maturity of a 5 year old, and resort to countdowns starting months in advance of an event I’m anxiously awaiting. My reference here, is for the countdown I began roughly 5 years ago, that now seems just a stone’s throw away, Kevin’s Graduation!
Now that I’m within reaching distance of the goal line, my entire perspective has become distorted, and it seems as though the last 5 years passed in the blink of an eye, yet the mere 4 months that stretch out before me, an eternity! Why is that? Anticipation. My name is Julie and I am addicted to anticipation. I’m constantly counting SOMETHING down, and if its two far away for me to focus on, I have to put something in between to hold my focus until it gets a little closer (in this case, we’re counting down to Kevin’s Spring Break, the halfway point of the semester).
As I type that paragraph I hear the sage wisdom about ‘wishing your life away’ and ‘patience being a virtue’ replaying in my subconscious. I have to wonder though, as people age we tend to hear them refer to missing that ‘youthful exuberance’ and casting that nostalgic smile as they watch toddlers rip into presents… So if my anticipation manifests itself in ‘youthful exuberance’… am I really wishing my life away, or did I just manage to hold on to some of the better characteristics of childhood?
The cynics to this theory hold firm that I’m merely immature, naïve, or even ignorant. They see the buildup, my anticipation, as merely the prequel to a letdown… The toy will break, the honeymoon will end… To them, I think Conan O’ Brian captured it best in his farewell speech from “The Tonight Show”:
“All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism- it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen”.
I’m not everyone’s cup of tea… which by the way… best realization ever to embrace, and for most, likely only possible post high school/collegiate careers, but I’m quite content with my maturity level in the face of TOTALLY AWESOME events! So to any/all cynics that may stumble across this blog, I ask you politely to respect my point of view, sit on the sidelines reading my updates, and wait for the train wreck that you are certain will be my life… try not to be TOO disappointed when things actually work out :).
Now that I’m within reaching distance of the goal line, my entire perspective has become distorted, and it seems as though the last 5 years passed in the blink of an eye, yet the mere 4 months that stretch out before me, an eternity! Why is that? Anticipation. My name is Julie and I am addicted to anticipation. I’m constantly counting SOMETHING down, and if its two far away for me to focus on, I have to put something in between to hold my focus until it gets a little closer (in this case, we’re counting down to Kevin’s Spring Break, the halfway point of the semester).
As I type that paragraph I hear the sage wisdom about ‘wishing your life away’ and ‘patience being a virtue’ replaying in my subconscious. I have to wonder though, as people age we tend to hear them refer to missing that ‘youthful exuberance’ and casting that nostalgic smile as they watch toddlers rip into presents… So if my anticipation manifests itself in ‘youthful exuberance’… am I really wishing my life away, or did I just manage to hold on to some of the better characteristics of childhood?
The cynics to this theory hold firm that I’m merely immature, naïve, or even ignorant. They see the buildup, my anticipation, as merely the prequel to a letdown… The toy will break, the honeymoon will end… To them, I think Conan O’ Brian captured it best in his farewell speech from “The Tonight Show”:
“All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism- it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen”.
I’m not everyone’s cup of tea… which by the way… best realization ever to embrace, and for most, likely only possible post high school/collegiate careers, but I’m quite content with my maturity level in the face of TOTALLY AWESOME events! So to any/all cynics that may stumble across this blog, I ask you politely to respect my point of view, sit on the sidelines reading my updates, and wait for the train wreck that you are certain will be my life… try not to be TOO disappointed when things actually work out :).
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